What would you do if you made this mistake?

Question

My husband and I got into a very bad argument. Hurtful things were said. To make the problem worse, I ended up drinking too much that night and placed a phone call to my ex husband. I happen to know that he is still in love with me even after all these years. I quess I was looking to talk to someone, I don't know, like I said I was very drunk. Anyway, my husband and I patched things up the next day. Now I feel so guilty. The conversation was pretty innocent but I still feel bad about the call. I also caused problems between my ex and his girlfriend. I know this through mutual friends. I would have a serious problem if my husband got a phone call at 12:30 at night from his ex wife. Should I tell my husband what I did or just leave it alone and hope he doesn't find out.

Answer 1

Well, only you know enough details to make the best decision here, but based on what you said, I would probably tell your husband and apologize to him for calling your ex (not grovel, but just letting him know you regret you made that call).

Don't let your behavior confuse you. What you did doesn't mean you're still attached to your ex. You were fighting with your husband, you were drunk, it was late, and you didn't know who to call -- so you called someone who you knew would listen to you. If you can honestly say the conversation was "innocent," then stick with that. You simply made a mistake, because you had been drinking.

If you think it would be appropriate to send a note to your ex's gf and apologize to her, telling her that it wasn't your ex's fault, and you don't plan to do it again, go ahead. If you think it will cause more trouble, don't.

What I would focus on in your shoes is, next time your husband and you fight, not drinking in order to alleviate your pain. You know you might do something you'll regret later, if you're intoxicated. Try to think of people besides your ex (i.e., female friends) whom you can call when you really need emotional support -- or some other activity you can do that will help you get through the pain you're experiencing.

Hang in there. Everyone makes a mistake. You regret this one, and know it was inappropriate, so plan ahead for similar situations as much as you can, so when you're hurting you're not stuck up the creek without a paddle. Take care.

Answer 2

Leave it alone, you are already sorry for your mistake and you can express yourself and say sorry if ever he finds out. You have all the good explanations to give, as you said, you needed someone to talk to. It's okay, it was only a phone call, nothing more. Nothing to feel so guilty about.

Answer 3

Just leave it alone and don't use your "ex" as an emergency excuse be it drunk or sober. Alcohol just put down your inhibitions to contact your ex. You obviously already had that in your heart and were looking for an excuse to do it. He is your X for a reason.

Answer 4

If htis were a man, everyone would be whining about how unfaithful men are and sitting on the couch eating bon bons while watching Oprah with 10 cats lounging around. Face it, you are not mature enough for a marriage.

I predict she cheats in the next year or so.

Answer 5

Leave it alone it will only do more damage. And in the future don't get drunk and act like a total fool. Have you no self respect?

Answer 6

well a relationship is built on trust and honesty tell him and if he really loves you and trusts and believes you hes a keeper but if his ex calls you cant get that mad even if it's as innocent as you for he will bring this up and tell you how he forgave you.
hope I helped.
Love,
Brianna

Answer 7

Alcohol can do this to people. Leave it alone and phone your ex to thank him for listening to your drunken behavior.

Answer 8

Leave it alone. Just make yourself a promise that you'll never do it again and stick to it.

Answer 9

tell him and explain to him that it was completely innocent...it's better for him to hear it from than find out some other way

Answer 10

Honesty is always best, and drinking is no excuse!