My long-time friend, who is recently divorced & trying to get "back in the game" has turned to me with a problem & I'm not sure if my advice is helpful, so I need lots of input :)
My friend has a friend who is very fashionable and is constantly updating her wardrobe...she has been giving my friend all her discards, and from what I understand, these are nice, top-dollar items. The problem is that when my friend wears them, her friend who gave them to her is constantly pointing out that fact and embarrassing my friend. She says things like, "Hey that a nice shirt...where did you get that?" or "Wow...That looks familiar."
My friend said she feels like a complete loser wearing her friend's hand-me-downs and doesn't want to do it anymore. My advice to her was (since she really can't afford to buy her own things right now) to continue to take/wear them...just not around her friend. I really want to help her! She is beautiful and her self-esteem is shot...any other ideas out there??
2006-11-25 05:29:20 · 9 answers · asked by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
your right tell her to keep the clothes and wear them if she is that uncomfortable don't wear them around her, also maybe she can change them a little she can go to walmart and buy beads and sequins add them to the clothes?? or she can tell her friend the next time she says "wow that looks familiar" she can say thanks now i know why you gave it to me it looks a lot better on me than you!
2006-11-25 05:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by parrotsarenoisy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your friend to Thank the other girl for giving her such nice clothing and that she appreciates it but her constant comments make her feel like trash. If the comments continue then she should stop accepting the clothes and cut off her "friend" completely. Also. tell your friend just how pretty she is and give her compliments, no matter what shes wearing to help boost her self esteem. Try having a girls day in and give each other makeovers just for the fun of it and say things like " oh wow..your eyes look awesome with this eyeshadow" etc. etc. Good luck =)
2006-11-25 13:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first of all just reassure your friend that she is beautiful no matter what she is wearing. I would also tell her to talk to the friend who gave her the clothes and express her appreciation for her generosity, but let her know in no uncertain terms that her comments are hurtful. Maybe the friend is just trying to joke around and doesn't realize that she is making your friend feel bad. If that doesn't work, then your friend should turn the comments around on her friend. When the friend says, "Wow... that looks familiar" your friend should say something like, "Yeah, I saw you wearing something like this once, but it looks much better on me"
2006-11-25 13:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie73 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend (who is reciving the clothes) to grab a pair of scizors sence she can't buy her own things she can make her own. Like a long sleved shirt. cut off the sleves. maybe cut it shorter. Got some glitter and glue put some glue on the shirt and throw some glitter on it. How about permint markers draw cute designs on the pants. Got string ? cut little holes on the paints and string it thew. just get creative change teh clothing. then she cant say that about you friend clothes because they are totally different
2006-11-25 13:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend needs to talk to her benefactor and let her know how she feels when things are said like that and ask that she help her out by not saying them for a while or helping her to build her self esteem. I am sure the benefactor is not rubbing it in as your friend feels as I have had people do the same thing in joking and they want you to feel good about it. The benefactor apparantly does not know she is causing hurt feelings so inform her and if your friend does not feel up to it, you go see her and talk to her about it and let her know what it is doing and suggest that she help you find ways to boost her self esteem.
2006-11-25 13:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by ramall1to 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to let her friend know how it makes her feel and if her friends doesn't understand that, she isn't much of a friend. If she doesn't want to talk to her about it, I would agree with you, just to stop wearing those items around her friend.
2006-11-25 13:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the friend,just tell her"hey u no that makes me feel low,or say"u gave em to me if u want them back take em just stop making all these comments plz!"
2006-11-25 13:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by VermillionTears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I would talk to the friend and say hey stop calling me out its embarrasing. If shes a friend she should understand.
2006-11-25 13:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should talk to the girl and tell her how she feels. its not nice to do that and she needs to stop. its generous of her to give the items but she should be discreet and understanding not everyone has a lot of $$$$$ and she needs to understand
2006-11-25 13:33:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋