My husband is protective of his cell-phone ...?

Question

He leaves the room when he is on the phone ... he will not let me see it ... he believes that his phone is "private and personal". I have always trusted him and do not believe he is having an affair but it really hurts my feelings ... I feel that as a couple you should be open and honest. I have no problems with him using or reviewing my cell-phone. I have nothing to hide. Thoughts?

He leaves the room when he is on the phone ... he will not let me see it ... he believes that his phone is "private and personal". I have always trusted him and do not believe he is having an affair but it really hurts my feelings ... I feel that as a couple you should be open and honest. I have no problems with him using or reviewing my cell-phone. I have nothing to hide.

In addition, whenever I ask who it was ,,, he states, "it is none of your business".

Thoughts?

Answer 1

My husband is protective of many thing's to. The best thing is to tell him how you feel. Tell him, your not thinking he is having an affair, just tell him it hurt's you that he has to walk away everytime he is on the phone and that you feel he is hidding something from you. If, he truely loves you then he will react to how you feel or try to talk to you about it. Sorry, that's all I really know what to tell you.
Best of luck to you!!!

Answer 2

I think that it's very possible that he could be cheating. In my own experience and from friends...any time a guy hides his phone and doesn't want to talk on it around you then that's definitely a sign. Since you are married you don't really have as much privacy anymore and you need to respect your spouse (that goes both ways). I think that maybe you should sit down with him and talk to him about it. It's obviously becoming a big issue. Tell him that you feel very uncomfortable and you don't believe that he should be hiding anything. People who have nothing to hide...don't hide. So, I'm pretty sure that he's hiding something. The best thing to do is be open and honest about the situation. Hopefully he can just show you the phone so you can make sure you know who he's talking to. Once you are married, I think that you have the right to know exactly who he is talking to. I don't think you should watch him like a hawk but def keep an eye on it.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Couples (and especially the guy) sometimes suffer from 'overexposure'- the sense that they have no privacy, no secrets.

In theory, no secrets and no privacy may sound like a good thing, but it really isn't. Each of us is an individual, and needs some things that are 'just mine', not 'ours'.

This may be a hidden stash of snacks, a story they share with certain friends but not each other, an embarrassing (but harmless) quirk, a retreat of some sort (long bathroom breaks, sitting in the workshop just thinking, a 'den', etc.)

You say you'd share your phone, but how about your diary or checkbook? Would you surrender your private space? The point is that you also probably have something you'd rather not share as well- it just isn't your phone.

I would suggest finding a quiet time that he feels good and mentioning that you know it is silly, but you feel like he is hiding something on his phone. Explain that you respect his right to privacy but it is nagging at you- curiosity is killing you. Make it almost a joke if you can. Keep it light and non-accusatory. Remember- it is YOUR problem, not his!

See what he has to say about it. Suggest how he could put your mind at ease without becoming a shrew or a b*tch about it- just him staying in the room sometimes would probably do it, huh?

Answer 4

You know in a relationship a woman wants to share everything.... but a man likes to have some things that are just his... My partner has a briefcase full of letters, cards, and various bits and pieces and I only ever open the briefcse to retrieve an envelope and writing paper as I know that is where he keeps it, but as for all his personal little bits I do not touch them or rifle through them.

So although you dont have a problem with him loking at your phone, does he look through it? Perhaps he doesn't. If he is always checking up on your phone, but wont let you touch his then I would have something to say. But then perhaps there is something that is private to you...

Openness and honesty are good and important in a relationship but so is trust. Trust that he is not doing anything wrong and allow him to have this little bit of privacy.

Answer 5

Well, I cant say anything that hasn't been said already but theres a saying that goes something like...People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Meaning If he were on the up and up he probably wouldnt be so secretive about it. Heres an example.

I have no big secrets, theres nobody on my phone that is a secret, and I dont talk about secretive things. I dont care who is around when im on my cell phone and I dont care who plays with it because theyre not going to find anything.

My friend is cheating on her husband but trying to keep it a secret. When she gets a call she either leaves the room or talks in major code, and she guards her phone with her life because she also sends and recieves questionable text messages on it.

Ask him how he'd feel if you left the room every time you got a call and freaked out every time he tried to see your phone. He would assume you were up to no good. And you're wise to assume the same about him. If he's not guilty of anything why is he acting so suspicious? Youre his WIFE. Private and personal doesnt exist anymore to him. If he trusted you enough to marry you, he should trust you enough to share private and personal things with you.

Answer 6

Hes probably hiding something from you. There is no private and personal things when it comes to a cell phone in a marriage. Tell him how you feel. Let him know that it makes him look like hes cheating when he has to be so private. If he has nothing to hide, he'll let you see his cell. If he wont let ya see it, that answers your question.

Answer 7

It sounds like he does have something to hide.An Innocent man wouldn't care if his wife looked at his phone.The only people whom try to conceal things are the ones whom are being deceitful about something.If my husband ever did what yours is doing I would get a hold of that phones records and start doing reverse searches to find out who the numbers belonged to.Although our cell phones are in my husbands name I am able to view his account and make changes.If I were you I would also contact the phone company and tell them my other phone was left at home or something silly like that and have them forward all the call to that phone to my cell at least for the day.If you do it for to long he will wonder why he hasn't gotten any calls.I know this might seem a bit harsh to do to ones own husband but remember has long has you are married to him you are 1/2 responsible for anything he gets into.So you have the right to protect yourself by keeping yourself informed you are only protecting your own interest.

Answer 8

That's how it started with my husband. He wouldn't leave his phone. He even took it to the shower with him. It was obvious that he was hiding something. He even got a new phone number. I did some investigating and yes, there was someone else. He gave me the same crap about his privacy. But I didn't buy it.

We ended up separating and I filed for divorce. But are now back together and he hides nothing...as it should be.

Good luck. Hopefully it is early enough that you can get things to work.

Answer 9

A husband's cell phone shouldn't be private and personal. He sounds like he's hiding something.

Answer 10

Check those phone bills! My ex boyfriend was very protective of his phone after a while and my worst fears were confirmed. My boyfriend now doesnt care, I play with his phone all day. We dont have anything to hide from one another. Someone being private like that, and to that degree and extremity isnt a very good sign.