Men, what do you do when you marry somebody and then later your wife isn't interested in sex? How do you deal?

Question

Do you think it's fair to either party to stay married? Isn't the marriage kind of a lie then?

Answer 1

This is something that can be fixed in most cases. Women need to feel valued and appreciated. When they do, they are usually horny. Take her on some dates. Talk about what her dreams and needs are. Tell her she's beautiful and that when you are at work you think about her. If there are chores you haven't done, do them. She'll come around. If she doesn't, she might need to see a therapist (with you) to work through it.

Answer 2

Sex is only a small part of a marriage. There are tons of Marriages where there is no or very little sex. Who are you telling the lie to? A Marriage is what the two parties involved make it.

People deal with it in a wide verity of ways. Some please themselves, some go out side the relationship. Some just live with it.

Find what works for you.

Answer 3

Hey man first off you need to think about what have you done differently. Do you have kids? Were you all romantic all the time before marriage? Did you do what most of us do and kiss her a*s all the time before marriage so you get some?
If you answer yes to any of those beside the kids part - start those again. Is it fair to her that you stopped? If you have kids get used to the idea that she has a lowered sex drive thanks to squirting out junior. That is just a natural fact of life.
Also you need to be willing to "settle" for just cuddling. She needs to know that you love her for her not her vagina. If you treat her like an object, she will resent you.
You need to talk to her man. Let her know that you love her for her. Try doing the dishes and vacuuming the floors. She will really love it if you cleaned the bathroom. make it a habit of doing these things without telling her or acting like you did her a favor. It is not a favor it just something that needs to be done and she should have to do it all.
If you are already doing these things then she has a problem and should her doctor.

Answer 4

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. As Oprah said; "Never go back to the exes because what you left the 1st time is still there" So, you blew that. Sex as a weapon trumps money everyday of the week and 5 times on Sunday with most men. The 5 day plan to "break the bank": For 5 days straight after he falls asleep wake him with the best toe curling b*** j** you can think of. But do not allow him to touch or do anything. On the 6th day you let him touch A LITTLE, but nothing else. Then on the 7th day NOTHING. Be prepared to forgo spending for a few days. I bet his missing that oral service will have him back peddling faster than a guy in a tux away from a clown with a custard pie. And if he brings it up, or hints that he wants it. Ka ching!!! You can suggest somethings you want to buy. Tell him you did that because you were happy(a lie)but do not tell him what. Tell him if you are happy, he can get happy. I bet he make you very, very, VERY happy!! Plan 'B'; If he has more resolve than I think. Take some very sexy pics of yourself and print them out. "Allow" him to discover them. When he asks, just tell him they were for a project. Be very vague. Let his mind wonder. When he presses say you were going to auction them on Ebay or something. If he ask why, tell him you need money and he ain't being very giving without stipulations. I think he may rethink his position. I have given you more game than I was suppose to. I may have my Victoria's Secret viewing privileges revoked. So, I hope it works. If not. You did not hear it from me,

Answer 5

I think I can help. I am a woman who has experienced a 'decreased libido' since my husband and I first got together. We've been together 9 years and have 2 children and one on the way. My husband has the same interest in sex he's always had. I have learned that sex IS a part of a happy marriage..even if I don't need it to feel happy. I care about my husband and HIS needs (if I didn't, then why in the hell would I have married him?) and I have learned to 'make the effort' even if I didn't feel particularly 'in the mood' at the time. I have also found that it is very important for me to feel like I am still sexy and irresistible to him...and this is achieved usually by him taking the initiative in bed 'sometimes'. (You know, instead of laying there, waiting to be 'serviced'.) You HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO talk candidly to one another about sex, what it means to each of you and how you can go about continuing to fulfill one another's needs...WITHOUT romance-killing ultimatums.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

I don't know how old she is but if she is anywhere near menopause or is in menopause sex become totally repugnant. Imagine giving your all for family, cleaning, cooking etc. for years and then you start to have hot flashes and a myriad of other stuff and then someone wants sex all the time. It becomes too much, it becomes an unbearable chore. If that's the problem you'll just have to be patient. Take a cold shower or go to the gym and work off some of that energy.

Answer 7

That is difficult.

1. BEG her to see her obgyn or family doc to see if there is a health problem causing this. She could be hypothyroid, or have some hormonal problems.

2. If everything is okay with her body, suggest she see a therapist on an individual basis. They might suggest you come to counseling too.

3. Be patient. It isn't your fault she doesn't want sex. It is just a lack of drive. Nothing more. However, you shouldn't divorce someone just because she doesn't want sex.

Answer 8

Marrage is a double edge sword and cutts on both sides first your emotions/fillings/and willingness to get along with you socalled lover.and then the other side your obligation to provide for a dead beat wife that dosent know how to show you love and attention. maybe she snap out of it /or she doing someone else this is a posibillaty. or needs some, Black cohosh ,an herb that works well for weman with low estrogen, it will give her horns ok

Answer 9

You need to look deeper into the problem and find out why she isn't interested in it.
I'd say communicating with one another should be the first step before you even contemplate a divorce.

Answer 10

No many women are not interested in sex and they stay married. Marriage is not just for sex. It is up to the man to rent a motel room and call for an escort once a week to get his needs met. And always use a condom even for oral sex.