does marriage matter anymore?

Question

you know,its really sad that in our day and age people cant seem to communicate and resolve theyre problems anymore.instead its (let me see what else is better out there)yeah I'm in love with a woman I married 14yrs ago.and she decides to leave me for a younger man who knows shes married and we have a 13 yr old daughter and 7 year old son.we are in our early 30's.we married young but why am I in love with her like day 1 but shes not.people talk about did you give her attention?I've givin her my life all that I am while she was home drinking and on the internet thats where she met that person.it sucks when you dont know where things went wrong because your spouse gets defensive when you do try and talk to her.why would she leave someone whos been faithful to her all his life for someone she barely knows?

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that. I do not know why she did what she did but I would think you better start looking after yourself. You matter a lot, always remember that. Move on with life... we only live once so make most of it. There must be someone out there waiting to be loved by you and will love you till the last breathe... well, I believe in marriage and love and there's always hope!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your situation :-( Like someone else said, people always think the grass is greener on the other side...that is until they get there.
I think that we (society) have become a bunch of disposers or quitters. Why work at something when we can just walk away from it..or throw it out and get new...marriage included in this. It is very, very sad that things are this way.

From my perspective the only things that come to mind are: Can you really trust someone who aspires nothing more than to drink and hunt on-line? Or can't be honest with you? Are you may be better off without her, as hard as that thought may be? Plus, the same situation will more than likely happen between her and this other person. And the defensiveness..well that is probably linked to the drinking and not wanting to realize right from wrong.

I don't believe that blaming yourself is the answer at all...when we all look back on life is there things we all could have done better? Well yeah, that's why we are human. And there is always a chance of her getting her wits together and you guys working on it. Communication sounds like what is weak, may be not the attention. Just be strong..your babies (children) are going to need shelter, love, and understanding.

Prayers & Best of Luck which ever way is best!

Answer 3

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 4

Some people fall apart as they grow older because they were never meant to be together to begin with,people marry way to early nowadays and find out 3 years later that they didn't really care about each other to begin with,by then they may have children together and feel they have to make it work out, while they grow more unhappy,after a while some people just give up and move on,which is better than fighting all the time.

Answer 5

to some the vows still matter. however the law and society has made it easy, acceptable and very worth it for a woman to get married for a few years, have kids and then leave to be a tart.
society, tv, magazines all promote people to be independant, to cheat, to leave when things get hard or too boring. she's obviously a tramp. file for divorce, get custody of the kids, which means you will keep at least half, 75% if you get a good lawyer.
show the hoe the curb. the white middle class male is now the most discriminated against part of society in most countries.

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that. Marriage only mean "til death do us part, or until I think I found something better" now a days. She won't realise what she did, until this man shows her hes human and has flaws too, shes in a fairy tale right now. But truth be told, if he messed with a married woman, he has no respect for marraige and will cheat on her, its just sad she would rather throw away a life that you provided for her, and that you both biult together, and put your kids through this mess. I belive in "til death do us part" and I fight for my marraige, I would be devastataed if my husband threw it all away, but you have to take the blame off yourself, she had the affair, she left you, your not at fault for the broken home.

Answer 7

I got married at 32, and that was a shotgun wedding. I played the field during my youth and quite successfully to. Once I got married I decided to hang up my boots as it were. Now I have 2 beautiful daughters, the marriage has hit rock bottom now and again but for the sake of the kids stayed together. Now my marriage has picked up and looking good again, the kids are happy which to me is important to have them grow up in a stable environment while all around is crumbling. Society is falling foul of marriage breakups and children are the casualties which is our future. When kids grow up in unstable conditions it breeds an even more unstable society. So the answer to your question is yes marriage does matter for society as a whole and our future. Sorry to hear of your bitches behaviour, your better out of it

Answer 8

I agree with you. People don't take their vowes serious anymore, not the way they use to. You wonder how can your wife can be in love with someone she barely knows? Its infatuation. Trust me, she will see the huge mistake she made and the repercussions that will be faced in the end. Nothing is done without cost. I know right now you have all these unanswered questions, but one day you will see exactly why your marriage split up. Someone told me that going through a separation is almost like mourning a death. You have to mourn before you can go on. Good luck

Answer 9

Yeah the world is going upside down, i agree. That's definitely one of the worst things about the internet, that it breaks up marriages. I've heard of so many of this type of thing happening. I guess "the grass is greener" and all that, but it's not. I hope that she will realise she should have stayed with you and regret it all her life. Your surely do not deserve it. And she should think of your kids before she thinks of herself. She is parent first, right? Not only is she hurting you, she is also hurting your children. It's a sad situation. I only hope that you will be able to move on, but it will take a long time. Best of luck to you. :)

Answer 10

Your tale is a classic reason why I am not married and why I strongly urge men not to marry. This is not just one woman but many in fact. Staying married does not appeal to most women and will leave when they think they can get something out of it. Men should not marry, very simple. Sad, but simple. But in today's culture, not with today's kind of person. There is no "communication" problem. That is a convenient catch phrase but an inaccurate one. Save yourself, your earnings, indulge in your hobbies.