My 14 y/o came home last week high, 2 days in a row. I have looked into the possibility of sending him to Boys Town,and told him about it. He begged to not be sent away. It would be for a year in Nebraska. We are in Texas. I made up a list of what he has to do to keep from going there, and what he can't do as well, and made him sign it. Was I too lenient? Should I have just finished the arrangements for sending him off? Please, only serious answers.
2006-11-25 04:18:53 · 20 answers · asked by Alicia L 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Wow! I love this. You had a GREAT idea. The best way to get him to mind is in writing. When everything was laid out on paper he cannot say "it didnt say that" or "i didnt agree to that" you can always pull out the paper.
I suggest also talking to his friends parents. Chances are if he is trying weed so are they and probably in their parents' homes. They have the right to know. You would want to know if they were doing it in your house right?
I think it was great not to send him right away. This gives him a second chance to clean up his act on his own. But if he breaks the rules just tell him to pack and dont ever let anything he says effect you. He may say "ok ok I promise this time..." no. That is no acceptable. There was already 1 promise when he signed the papers. Dont give him a chance to break another.
Good job Mom!!!!
2006-11-25 06:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by Summer H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you probably are one of the "better" mom's out there!
You made a contract, told him what would happen if he couldn't hold up his end of the deal, and you talked to him about it.
Many parents wouldn't-and I applaud the fact that you are reasonable and supportive of your son.
If he doesn't hold his end of the deal, then yes- I would send him off to Nebraska for the year if you think it is the best option for him. Obviously you have his best interests at heart and are thinking about all the consequences of the all the outcomes.
In this situation, you've made it clear what you expect of your son, while showing him that you value and love him, and respect him as a person. You've given him a second chance to prove himself to you and earn back your trust.
I don't think you were too harsh or too lenient at all! I think that may have been the perfect solution- as long as it works for your son!
Good luck and I hope all goes well.
2006-11-25 04:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by kiwi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I didn't read through what everyone else had to say, so forgive me if this is just a repeat.
I think you handled it fine. You lined things out, made him fully aware of what you expected and made him acknowledge it. Having him sign it was great. Kids, boys in particular, are going to do stupid stuff, even as stupid as getting high. You have allowed him to make the mistake, and now he sees that the mistake will cost him severely if it is repeated. I think it is great to hear of a parent drawing the line in the sand and meaning it.
I do hope you are looking at other ways to adjust his life style at home. Look at the guys he's runnning with and see what they, and their homes, are like. Monitor his "free" time and make sure he is reporting in. A 14 yo shouldn't have free run, though many seem to. Find good activities and groups to associate with.
I applaud you, you did great!
2006-11-25 08:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jonas_J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't send him away! That could be the worst thing you can do! My brother got sent away a few times and when he came back he was good for about 2 or 3 days but after that he was worse than when he got sent off! So what you are doin now is good! just please don't send him off! if you do he might get to thinkin that you don't love him or that he is to bad for you to handle! And trust me you don't want him to think that then he will have you right where he wants you! so just keep doin what u are doin! So far so good!
2006-11-25 07:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by mariepink93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a good arrangement. If he abides by the set guidelines he agreed to, then no problem. You have to prepare yourself though to follow through with sending him off if he violates or breaks the rules you have set. If you don't follow through, then this is where the issues will really begin. He will learn that he can do whatever he wants and you won't follow through with your proposed punishment.
2006-11-25 04:22:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you did the right thing, but also realize that you need to come down on him hard if he can't hold up his end of the bargain. You gave him another chance and I believe it should be his last. If he can't fufill what you set down for him then I would send him to Boys Town.
2006-11-25 05:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if he begged to stay your doing something right, just make sure he does everything on your list and tell him the first sign of any more drugs and hes gone. Good Luck with it.
2006-11-25 07:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by Brittaney x3's Holden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, listed under are some concepts. substitute your daughter's cellular style or get rid of all of it at the same time. Use the call block function at your place of residing telephone to dam his style. talk to the police and document a document. sure, you will get a restraining order, yet i might recommend submitting a police document first. Why have you ever waited to get the police in contact? you additionally should communicate to the college approximately this till now the hot college year starts. call the police, now.
2016-10-17 12:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you going to do that to your own flesh and blood? You're a cold hearted BlTCH. How do you even know hes high huh? Well even if he does come home high hes just being a average teenager. Whats sending him away from his own bed, room and other things going to do? Absolutely NOTHING. How do you think hes going to feel about you when he comes back? Hes going to HATE you. Well hate is a strong word hes not going to like you and as soon as hes 18 i bet hes going to have money saved up for a apartment and move out and never call you. Do you really want your own child to hate your guts? Think about that.
2006-11-25 06:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i don't think so. you love your son and are willing to give him a second chance.now what he does with that second chance is up to him. OK you told him what he needed to do in order for him not to be sent away. what are you willing to do if he follows through with what you have asked him to do? good luck with your son.it is nice to see a parent that steps up to the plate before it is to late.
2006-11-25 04:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋