when i am at work or when with family and kids,am completely another person.i behave wisely,i keep on giving and giving,i take care of everyone,i handle all others' matters with great care and responsibility.however when am alone,i feel as if am another person.am sad and insecure,am very much down and depressed,and as if i am seeking for something or someone that i can never find. does it seem insane?
2006-11-25 03:49:12 · 11 answers · asked by sadflower 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Insane? no.
sounds as if you are not giving to yourself enough.
you are tired, you do what you have to do selflessly, even when you dont feel like it, then you say is this all there is?
find something that is your passion and embrace it for yourself.
you owe it to yourself, without neglect, give yourself your day or time set aside for you. and by the way if I was your family i'd be proud of you. You seem to be the kind of partner we all wish we had.Tell your spouse what you told us and I bet they help you find time for you . perhaps you can go on vacation.
2006-11-25 04:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by 2K 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow! You got some really bad answers so far! No, you do not sound insane. No, you should not avoid being alone and stay with other people all of the time (no practical advice anyway!). And no, not everyone is like this!
It sounds as if you are a people-pleaser, but to the point that you likely neglect your own needs. Which is not healthy and sometimes in extreme cases, people can "snap" and do violent things because they feel used by all of these other people. However, you mentioned depression. So it seems likely that you are turning your disappointments inward on yourself.
I would suggest you seek out some counseling and discuss with a counselor why you feel sad & depressed about being alone. Clearly, you are not happy with who you are. You need to understand why you are not happy with who you are. I would guess you are probably the type of person that is not good at asserting themself. Therefore other people might take advantage of you. Therefore, one thing to work on in counseling - perhaps a place to start from, is assertiveness training. Good luck to you!
2006-11-25 12:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it doesn't sound insane... you are doing what thousands of women do before they hit the age of 40/50... with years come wisdom and you return wisely to your true self. You can do it sooner... learn to say no and not feel guilty about it; learn to take time out for you and you alone; learn to ask for help from others when you need it. Learn to take care of you and to recognize that your needs are just as important as the needs of those you love.
2006-11-25 11:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not at all. You just forgot to be someone for yourself.
Are you female? Yeah, that explains a lot of it. We're biologically built this way and then scoailized this way.
You may need a little counseling to begin to be able to focus on yourself and not feel guilty about it, but this is NOT insane.
2006-11-25 13:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look at the role(s) you took on in your family when you were a child.
There are roles that family members adhere to: Hero, scapegoat, etc....These roles tend to trail people into their adult lives.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family can cause real confusion when you have your own life.
Were either of your parents alcoholics/sick/addicted to something? Your situation seems very very indicative of that.
If you were the hero in your family, always making life better, of course you will carry that on into your own family dynamics, but when you are not around your family, you feel as if you have no purpose.
You feel lost, because you aren't performing in "reaction" to a need by another family member. (is your spouse an alcoholic too?)...Just a thought based on what you have typed.
What you are experiencing is complicated. I don't know how you feel about seeing a psychologist, but they can really sort that out for you. If, in fact, your parent was an alcoholic, joining adult children of alcoholics would be a good start.
2006-11-25 11:57:03 · answer #5 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Sound insane? YES
Unusual? NO
I've met lots of people (in various places) who experience undesirable feelings when alone.
Looking at the basics of the situation... it seems to me that YOU have a choice to make. Decide to...
* Confront the feelings you have when alone.
OR
* Avoid spending time alone.
Either way... the choice YOU make... is the right choice for you.
2006-11-25 12:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by davidcolyer 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
spend more time with others if being alone makes u feel different or insane as u put it.
2006-11-25 11:52:26 · answer #7 · answered by woody 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
no its not insane. i feel that way too. and i daresay many other people do as well
2006-11-26 14:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by ynawzah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you aint mad Im like you an eventually you have to put yourself first an dont feel guilty about this,the more you do the more they want
2006-11-25 12:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by paul t 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I understand that.
Loads of people have it.
Your not insane =)
2006-11-25 11:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by hannahrottger 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋