How do i overcome...?

Question

How do i overcome socail fobia. You might say im a loner/not a people person so what can i do to just over come this anxity . I have been throwing off geting a job for a while now becouse of this. Its not that i dont want to work or im lazy its just that there something about being around people the frightens me. Thanks for the help.

Please no rude comment you dont know me.

Answer 1

Get your doctor to refer you to a therapist....

Answer 2

Well, there are two issues here. First, what job skills do you have? If you have no special job skills then play to your weaknesses. Get training in a job that requires you to work alone. The second thing you need to consider is that in most environments you are discouraged from interacting (talking) to your fellow employees. This means even though you are among people it sorta like you/re alone, cause you do your work and they do theirs.
Second, I assume you're comfortable talking to one person, There is no easy cure for your problem. Try talking to 2 people at the same time. There is an amazing thing when talking to people. People, when polled, ALWAYS, say the person who says the least is the best conversationalist. If you employ the rule of "talk once and listen five times" you will be a great success. This simply means that people whom other people consider to be the best conversationalist are the ones who LISTEN rather than talk. If you appear (or actually are) interested in what the other person is saying then you will not only not embarrass yourself, but will be a person who is sought out for conversation. I know it's scary as he*l, but just let it be your secret, and, hopefully, it will become easier with time.

Answer 3

Think of it as a challenge and give yourself alot of positive talks.Every time you have a negative thought about it counter act it with a couple of positive ones.Make sure to congratulate yourself every time you accomplish something and just go do it I think the fastest cure is to jump in with both feet and don't let the fear control your life .Sometimes when people havn't been out there for a while they get too comfortable at home and remember some bad expeirience at the last job or jobs,Focus on the good and just do it .You'll feel so much better and your confidence will come back.

Answer 4

It could take you all your life to get over it. Meanwhile you have to put enough enthusiasm and skill into your work that shines and sets you apart so people seek you for the job. Later when you have some say over the matter you'll probably arrange a private office one way or the other. Meanwhile let people help you. And show appreciation and memory for everything good they do. And do favors back everytime you have the chance.If you were complete extrovert you probably would not have the talents you use in your work.

Answer 5

We all have social phobia to some degree or other. It can hinder our motivation and ability to function. We can hold ourselves accountable and choose to make an effort. Being an extrovert does not always come naturally to all extroverts. I can be learned. Most of the obstacles we face are ones we put in our own path. We need to admit to ourselves that we are not helpless victime, and that we do have power and control. As for control, we only should only bother trying to control our behavior, since that's all that matters. Controlling our emotions, or other people is impossible and a waste of energy. We need to give up the notion that we are always right, justified, and that our views are correct. Sometimes they are, but everyone thinks that way. We need to have empathy, and walk in someone else's shoes now and then. We need to gove others what we want for ourselves. We need to make things about other people, because not everything is about us. We need to notice others, give them attention, admiration, respect, appreciation, recognition, and treat them like they are special, needed, trusted, wanted, powerful, attractive, and sought after. That's what we all want, right? Smile at people, compliment them, ask them questions. Show attention, interest, admiration and respect. Guaranteed, you will make someone's day, and it will feel really good inside to you. Build on that. You always have something to offer, regardless of how many or low little training, skills, or talents you have. You have the power to be extroverted, friendly, and likeable. You just have to decide to quit hiding behind your fear and intimidation. Do not continue to make the mistake and assume what others are thinking. That blames them, in a way, for your perceived shortcomings, which is not thier fault. Chances are, they DON'T think about you, until they have reason to. Give them a reason to, and make it a good one. Extend your attention and interest in people. They will think you are friendly. Don't talk about yourself (it's not about you) but rather get them to talk about themselves. It might make their day. When you do this, people will feel good about themselves around you, and they will want you around. You will feel good inside, and more popular and welcome. Make the effort to break the ice, build rapport, and put others at ease. No one owes you anything, so don't expect others to do this for you. But if you give this to others freely, it WILL come back to you.

If you are not sure what you have to offer as far as marketable skills for employment, you might try a cashier or customer service position. You always have your shining personality and friendliness to offer. You could work in a call center answering phones, or you could also work at the returns desk at a store. Job seeking websites like monster.com have all sorts of tips on job searching, resume writing, and interviewing. Get on there and tutor yourself. Replace "I can't" with "I am not willing to" in your self-talk. Take responsibility. Look at each challenge as an opportunity to improve, learn, and overcome something. Look at each mistake as an opportunity to collect wisdom and build character. Make accomplishments. They give you momentum and motivate you to make more accomplishments. Start with a small checklist. Force yourself to complete the list. Then add more to your lext list. Build yourself up. And while you are waiting for responses to your online resume and job search, volunteer and hour or two to volunteer work. You can find opportunities at the Salvation Army website Your time and effort will be appreciated by those in need, plus it will look good on your resume to include. The best reward is the feeling it will give you inside.
Hopefully that you will find something in all this that helps you get over that hump. If you need some more tips on rapport building, read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

I know you can do this, but will you? The choice is yours.

Answer 6

consult your local mental health center and look into therapy and medications if recommended. This is a diagnosable illness, not a moral or personal flaw.