My friend is married to a woman who has been cheating on him for 2+ years and currently lives with her boyfriend in another state. He admits his marriage is irreconcilable (which is plain to all). He now has a girlfriend that he has sex with. I have told him repeatedly I do not want to meet his girlfriend until he divorces his wife. I've made it clear that I think him having sex with a woman other than his wife is despicable and I do not want anything to do with his "slampiece" until he gets divorced. He has not even filed preliminary paperwork to divorce his wife and he has no plans to begin divorce proceedings. I don't want to give even a hint of encouraging him to cheat on his wife, so I don't want to meet his girlfriend until he gets divorced. I'm trying to get him to put his marriage behind him so he can date anyone he wants without the stigma of adultery. Is that an unreasonable stance to take?
2006-11-25 01:57:25 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't bring up the girlfriend/wife/divorce thing; he brings it up every 2nd or 3rd time we get together.
He genuinely knows his marriage is over, yet he refuses to get a divorce because it admits defeat and requires him to exert some maturity ad control over his life; he is a very irresponsible and lazy person and I've known him for 15 years.
Last night, when asked if he can admit that he is having sex with a woman other than his wife, he couldn't bring himself to admit that he is. Instead, he struggled to say it, but no sound came out of his mouth. If he can't even verbalize what he is doing, how the hell can he be expected to act in a manner which resoves his marriage once and for all?
I refuse to give explicit or implicit support for his infidelity. He's still a close, personal friend, but I refuse to accept the choice he has made.
2006-11-25 02:37:09 · update #1
If I was in your situation, I sure wouldn't want to met her until after he got his divorce. Just because his wife cheated on him don't give him the right to cheat on her. He needs to get his divorce first before he starts dating other women. His wife "could" come back and nail him, even though she is doing it her self. Two wrongs do not make a right!!
I don't and never have believed in cheating for any reason, there is no excuse for cheating.
2006-11-25 02:25:36 · answer #1 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you loopy! i do no longer think of this is a good theory. First, in case you cheated on your now spouse, i'm particular she has believe matters with you. She could have forgiven you and given you a 2nd danger, inspite of the undeniable fact that it is your duty to earn that believe. this is an insult so which you could exploit the possibility she is supplying you with. to flow previous infidelity is extremely complicated. She ought to somewhat love you and inspite of the undeniable fact that it became a year in the past, i'm particular it nonetheless hurts. you are the sole guy or woman who can take that harm away and talking some female being your ultimate chum that may not your spouse surely isn't a thank you to do it. call your spouse your ultimate chum and positioned that potential into her. 2nd, if this female is your chum, she would have the capacity to appreciate why you could desire to place far there. She might understand which you're attempting to rebuild believe inclusive of your spouse. If she would not, then how good a chum is she? i'll make the theory you're youthful, in view which you will possibly definintely recognize that your spouse is your precedence otherwise. certainty is - you get married and finally have your person kinfolk and additionally you have no longer have been given time for different relationships and additionally you quite spend a while inclusive of your loved ones. you will no longer even get that threat in case you do no longer deal inclusive of your spouse with understand now. I ought to ask, why do no longer they recognize one yet another already? have you ever undesirable mouthed your now spouse to this female? Spend a while and potential on your spouse and additionally you will no longer prefer to be everywhere else. Why did you marry her in the 1st place? in case you could no longer try this - permit the girl flow she she would have the capacity to have somebody who will cope together with her good.
2016-10-17 12:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying you can tgive in count of what other people do. Worry about what you do! Well in this situation you dont have to push him aside until he gets a divorce who know they might get back together. Be there like before for him as a friend he might be going through something and need a shoulder to lean on.If all else fails yeah find a new friend this one might be a little mixed up anyway
2006-11-25 02:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to say this is a hard one, from the sounds of it your friend was the first one to be deserted in this relationship.He looks like he is trying to move on with his life and the reason he has not filed for divorce is maybe he hopes some day down the road they will get back together or maybe he cant afford it at this time there could be severale reasons why he is not filed for divorce.As for you being his Friend if you value his Friendship and want o continue just put your feelings aside and meet the girl,just because you do not approve does not meen you cant be civil to her for your friendship sake, its not your life so it really is none of your business.What will be will be.
2006-11-25 02:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by wblueyesinvt35 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Here is a question of moral. If this guy is your friend then that means that he accepts your opinion and he respects your beliefs (religious or moral) Therefore I don't think that you should give up on your practices and your beliefs. So I commend you for having morals and sticking to them. However I don't think that every time you see your friend you should chastise him for not divorcing his wife, but only refuse to see his girlfriend when he suggests because, you have to practice what you preach. And if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.
2006-11-25 02:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by miss_peaches 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sure, you can do a threesome! If he's a pig and she's a pig and this pig is your friend then you may well be a pig. So jump right on in, the mud is just fine................Enjoy
NO, NO, TELL HIS WIFE, this may result in yet another pig opportunity for you regarding the possibility of grudge-revenge piggy sex with his misses.
NO, NO, I got it. Tell your "friend" that if he does not have piggy sex with YOU then you will rat him out, yeah that's the sleaziest and most morally bankrupt option...........
Of course you should tell him..............daaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
2006-11-25 02:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by Weasel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion No it is not, I can understand what you are saying. I would be uncomfortable around my friend if he was still married but seperated and seeing someone. His morals are different from yours and if you can't see past it then it is not your problem. It is still adultery any way you look at it. Good luck.
2006-11-25 02:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is an idiot. You are not being unreasonable at all. Does his wife know about his affair??? If I knew for an absolute fact that a friend of mine was cheating on his wife, I would let his wife know!
I have been cheated on before and it ticked me off that no one had the guts to tell me when they knew about it!
2006-11-25 02:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No you are saying your apinion. But every knows it is over. If him and both other halves can live with this then he will keep on and you will just hurt your friendship if you are to big of a pain. Just evry now and then throw in a comment to let your felings be known but be friends not a thorne in his side.
2006-11-25 02:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you believe and think about moral values,is 100 % true.Let your friend fix his problems first,and then you can deal with him again.If he has not even think in get divorce is clear.Some men are married and like to be cheaters;so they never will get divorce.
2006-11-25 02:12:09 · answer #10 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋