Brothers and sisters in Christ what am I supposed to do or say when?

Question

My husband use to be christian but for the better part of our marriage I sometimes found myself wondering.He has had numerous affairs and never seemed remorseful.
A lot of people say to divorce him but I love my husband very much and I find myself praying a lot for God's intervention and for me,peace of mind because I felt like I was losing it.
Now he keeps almost criticising me as to why I am spending my time praying when nothing is working out for me as far as he sees

Answer 1

God hates divorce.. But with your prayer you are a covering for you household. But the only reason biblical for a divorce is if there is adultery in the marriage.. And since clearly there is I would say to leave. Sometimes we stay with ppl that God meant us to be with for only a season. To teach us, and prepare us for the one he has in his plan for us.. Pray for God to show you his way.. And you will never go wrong. Because your steps are ordered by God.

Answer 2

First let me say that I am sorry you are experiencing so much pain. You didn't say how long you have been married.

My first suggestion, if you haven't already done so, is to get some professional counseling. It is amazing how a third (neutral) party can help you see things and sort things out, that you wouldn't be able to do on your own.

I think praying for answers is good also. God will answer. However, why would you want to stay with a man who obviously doesn't want to be with you? Numerous affairs? Honey, I would have kicked him to the curb after the first one.

There are too many diseases and just plain unhealthy things for you to subject yourself to. Hard as it may be for you, I think the best thing for you to do, is seperate for now. Give yourself time to heal and figure things out. Let him know you are not a doormat.

You deserve better. I'm sure of it.

Answer 3

He doesn't really sound like a very nice man. Just because someone becomes a christian doesn't mean they respond to change. There are lovely people who are not christian, who would never look for other women. Your husband has a choice as to whether he chooses to sin or not just like the rest of us. The bible is clear in that you can divorce if your partner has committed adultery. How ever you may wish to pursue your marriage. YOU ARE MOST DEFIANTLY NOT WAISTING YOUR TIME IN PRAYING. Jesus loves all and wants us all to respond to him. I really don't think that you should just take advice from this site but get real life advice, perhaps try RELATE, you can find them on the Internet, you may be able to get real counselling from professional people who know what they are talking about.

Answer 4

Girl, you are in a unique pickle! On one hand you are full of character that I wish all women could possess (and most men too) Your strength of faith is a boon for the rest of us! I use people like you as my goal for the way I want my personality to be. Loving, doesn't start to describe your own personal relationship. On the other hand, the Bible is fairly specific on how to handle cheaters. It's not a law, but a guide line for those who just can't handle the loss of trust. You however, can handle it. Wow, that says allot right there! I have only one bit of advice, and you're not going to like it. Make plans to leave him. Talk to your pastor first, I don't want to step on his toes, some don't believe the Bible says that cheating is an excuse for divorce! It does! but some disagree. If this is not an option, then you are doing what you should already! I really feel uplifted knowing there are still people like you out there. Nice to know your Christian character helps others! At least be happy in that fact!

Answer 5

If he has had numerous affairs, that is your ticket to get out of the Godless marriage. God would not want you to be in that kind of marriage and states in the Bible that infidelity is a reason for divorce. Maybe God is waiting for you to intervene. Sometimes He speaks to us in a still small voice and we have to make what ever move is necessary.

Good Luck to you and do not let your poor excuse for a husband stand between you and God. If you do, that puts him closer to God than you are!

Answer 6

I just love when a question is directed to specific people and other want to come on and criticize. From one christian to another Christ has said that separation is permit table in this situation. I think you should continue in prayer because those of us who know Jesus know his love and know that he will answer our prayers if it is his will. I do think that you should separate and continue to pray and fast. We know that God can be trusted even when we don't understand our circumstances and that all things will work out for us according to his will. I know that this is very painful for you and the only thing you can do is continue praying for him. When you love someone you want what is best for them. I wish I knew what he was thinking to help you on that end. I know that if you stay he will continue to treat you the way he has been and maybe a little time and space he will have a chance to look at his life. I will remember you in my prayers and that God will continue to give you strength and let you feel his love. Don't forget to talk to your pastor and other christian friends and get together with them as often as possible.

Answer 7

According to the word of "God" adultery is one reason you can seperate yourself from this man. Sounds like he does not care about "God" and has turned his back on him. I hope he realizes what he is doing is wrong, but if he keeps down this path you will be unequally yoked and you must move on in your life without him. I know you are praying for him and his soul, you are a wise lady, but ask yourself this Is it worth living with someone who constantly breaks Gods commandments. I think you know the answer. God is a great God and he will handle things in a way that we humans cannot even begin to comprehend. If God leads you to go your seperate ways, then you must obey him. Sooner or later he will send you a sign and tell you what you must do.

Answer 8

Divorce breaks the heart of Christ. But so does what you are going through. I also went through this myself. Eventually it got to the point where she no longer wanted to be married to me and left. this gave me two biblically approved reasons to "let her go". I waited and waited for her to come back to me but eventually, as an act of faith, filed for divorce as per her wishes.

In your case, it's a matter of do you want to remain in this marital relationship. God does understand if you don't and, under these circumstances, He permits divorce. In my case, through prayer and reading my bible, God put my mind at ease letting me know that she was the one who instigated the divorce, not me. I believe your case is no different.

You don't just one day stop being a Christian. Based on what you are saying, there's a good chance that he never really was truly born-again. You just remain faithful to God and cry to Him and to other Christians. This will come to an end, and I believe soon.

Here's the bottom line. You have a choice. Divorce or remain married to this man. According to the Bible, under these circumstances, the choice is entirely yours. But, unfortunately, either choice will be painful for a while.

The Lord bless you, sister.

Answer 9

Well Sister,
God is always faithful. But man has a part to play to enable God act and that part u've played by praying. One more thing, ancore your faith on God's promises. but don't try hating your husband because that you'll be your great mistake. critism does not make you ugly just keep calm and be yourself he'll realise your worth. be cute as far as your concern neat, and appreciative leading an exaplary life in your nieghbourhood. when he come's back he'll never feel like going out. those ladies are'nt one bit up to you because he's your husband. meanwhile don't relent in your prayer life its your only source of strenght and courage keep taking it to him.
God answers prayer
Sometimes he says Yes
Somtimes No
Sometimes: I'm not through with working on it.
Let it to Him he knows best. I'll pray with you.
Your of the kindest heart and a model
Cheers!!!
Elizabeth King

Answer 10

"...why I am spending my time praying when nothing is working out for me as far as he sees..."you say. But is it quite correct that you are also having doubts about the efficacy of the prayers? If not there is no reason for you to ask others for guidance.You say you love him and the way you have carrued on with him with all the problems you have mentioned shows that you indeed do.Please continue to love him.The very fact that with all his extra-marital engagements he has not left you and also soliciously ask you why you are taking all this trouble to save his soul shows that there is a soft corner for you. Continue your prayers.Slowly but surely this corner will spread to the outermost confines of his soul and your prayers rewarded. Do not lose faith.