If you knew your best friend was cheating on her husband, but she didnt know that you knew, and she constantly asked you to lie to her husband if he asked, and say she was with you, when she wasn't, Would you? If no, what would you tell her if she asked you why not? (keeping in mind, she doesn't know that you know about her cheating)
2006-11-25 00:45:40 · 21 answers · asked by Dani 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have told her once that I dont think I should be lying for her but she kind of ignored me. To answer the question what kind of best friend is she...she's the kind who only comes around when her computer is broken (lately). Borrows money constantly and "forgets" to pay it back, and uses me when its convenient for her. If you're wondering why she's my best friend...it's basically cus i've known her for years and when she isnt using me and lying to me, we get along and have a great time together. She'd be a great friend if she got over using me and asking me to lie for her.
2006-11-25 00:56:53 · update #1
I've never actually had to lie to him. She's asked me to but he's never talked to me about it or asked me about it until today. I got a message from him saying "i thought you 2 were doing something last night?" I knew she had told him that we would be together but she never said anything to me about it, which gave me the opportunity to play stupid and act like I had no clue what he was talking about. I actually emailed him back and said i dont know what youre talking about she never came over.
2006-11-25 01:03:11 · update #2
My good friends would never hope I'd lie for them. They know how I feel about cheating. I'd be more likely to lie to cover up a bank robbery than to help a cheater shaft their spouse. Next time she asks you to lie, tell her that you WON'T. You needn't explain, but if she asks why- tell her. If your friendship depends on your lying for her, losing the friendship is no loss.
2006-11-25 01:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Refuse to lie for her up front. When you do lie for her, that is the same as helping her cheat. Then you are just as guilty as she is. This is one of the few situations where killing another human is justifiable. It may be against the law, but more intentional deaths ocur each year from this type of thing than most others. If her husband killed her, then killed you for being a part of it-I could not find him guilty of murder or manslaughter if I were on the jury. If you have lied for her, then I would come clean with her husband. She would no longer be my friend. I would never be able to trust her again. I would cut her off right now and never speak to her again, except to tell her why. But no discussion-just end it.
2006-11-25 08:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Desperado 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you want someone to deliberatly lie to you if the tables were turned?
I would tell her to lose my number. She is no friend, period. She is a user. You allow her to use you as a doormat. That is not friendship sweetie.
I'm sure that she may have good qualities, but only after she is finished "self serving" herself.
You're doing her a favor and being a real friend by making your feelings clear to her. And I would insist that she pay the money back if she owes you, inclusive of telling her that if she ever asks for you to lie for her again; you will tell her husband.
She may never forgive you for what she will see as "turning" on her b/c that is how self serving people think. When in reality and hopefully, someday she will thank you.
This is something that you do not want to be involved in. She is using you and when all hell fire breaks loose and it will! ....hubby is going to be just as upset with you....people will find out; thus your reputation will be tarnished as well for covering for her.
2006-11-25 09:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
friendship shouldnt come when one person feels like she should be a friend. This female is a user and has continued to deceive you. When she borrow money I would make her sign a promissory note stating when she will be paying you back. This woman isnt a friend. Just because you have known her for a while doesnt make her your best-friend. Best-friends share things together. She should have let you know the reason she wanted you to lie to her husband.
2006-11-25 09:04:40 · answer #4 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm going out on a limb here a say something everyone has thought of, but so far too afraid to say. I would tell the husband! I would tell him she has asked you to lie if he asks about her where-a -bouts, I would tell him your proof of her indiscretions, I would also say I don't want you to lie but just not to reveal his sources when she is confronted. I would also slowly dissolve the relationship. Be unavailable. Like Jill said, your damned if you do and damned if you don't, so why not go the direction that gives the most truth to the correct people. I don't like brutal honesty, but we are talking a very high stress level imposed on you by a person who WAS your friend, but now just a user.
2006-11-25 09:09:03 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such a circle of lies and deception. Use a spreadsheet to track them or realize that you too are now part of the problem, and when your husband finds that you lie for a liar, well that will surely take a toll on his trust for you. Maybe you can see that you can't lie for your best friend or an acquaintance, because you damage yourself in so doing. Your friend has the problem and it is all hers. support her in other ways, but not lies.
2006-11-25 08:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was my best friend yeah sure I'd lie for her. But think about this, what kind of a best friend is she putting you in the middle of her mess? I'd do it maybe once and after that I'd tell her that I knew what she was up to and didn't appreciate being put in a situation like she's put you in.
2006-11-25 08:52:50 · answer #7 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a "Look ____, it makes me very uncomfortable to lie about these things and I'm afraid I can't do that any more. Whatever it is that you're asking me to cover for isn't worth the internal struggle it causes me. Is there something you need to tell me?"
2006-11-25 08:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a user. She's using her husband and cheating. She's using you for an alibi which runs contrary to your ethics.
There is a time , maybe now, that you need to question the cost of her friendship.
2006-11-25 09:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend wouldn't put you in that situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Tell her you know about the cheating and you're uncomfortable lying. If she respects you, she'll leave you out of this part of her life.
2006-11-25 08:54:50 · answer #10 · answered by Calc44 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋