so i am a couple weeks pregnant, and i almost got the guts up to tell my bf [babies daddy] but when i brought up the subject, he started saying how he doesnt want kids till he is like 30, and that if i ever got pregnant that there is no way we would have it, and how it would ruin our lifes and all this stuff, and how pissed he would be if i got pregnant. i got way to scared to tell him. i care for him alot, and i dont want to lose him. but i told him that if i ever got pregnant that i would not be able to have an abortion, so he knew. but ya i dont know what to do...
2006-11-24 23:14:50 · 14 answers · asked by mommy in january 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You both made the baby, if he was so anti pregnancy he would have been a bit more careful! Tell him soon. He cannot force you into an abortion and if he says goodbye then hes no great loss. He has a financial responsibility to the baby which you should ensure he fulfills...;
2006-11-24 23:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by huggz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear it, baby girl. Well... I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that some guys say that, but abruptly change their minds once they get used to the idea that you're pregnant, and grow to be wonderful husbands and fathers. It does happen, believe it or not.
The bad news is that the others turn out to walk away, leaving you stranded and pregnant, or they turn into deadbeat dads who'll abuse you until you finally work up the nerve to leave. Abuse doesn't have to be physical. Understand that you don't want a man who's going to cheat on you, or mouth off to you and make you feel small and insignificant, and that's not the type of role model that your little one needs, either.
I don't know what type of man your boyfriend is, otherwise, I'd be able to offer more than just my sympathies and suggestions. Here's some more food for thought, though:
Were you using protection? Either of you? If both of you were being careless, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Understand that it is YOUR body, and he cannot MAKE you abort the pregnancy. PERIOD.
If he cares about you, he will own up to the fact that he was not being responsible, and will NOT make you do something that you will probably regret for the rest of your life. If he continues to try, though, maybe it's a good thing. It's best to find out that a man is a jerk BEFORE you get married to him.
Regardless of how he takes it, you're going to have to tell him. How he responds, though, is how you should make your decision. Raise the baby with him, provided that he will be a loving husband or father, or raise the baby alone?
Good luck, hun. Let us know how it works out.
2006-11-25 07:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, sooner of later he will see it, and if you want to have a good relationship with him then he has to hear it from you. Tell him that even if this means that he is going to leave you, you are very happy and aslong as he supports you as a friend then all will be ok. Tell him that he can not think that he has nothing to do with this baby. Tell him that when its old enough, he will be parenting mo-fri just like you. If he starts acting like an ***, tell him he made his bed and now he will lay in it, if he likes it or not. If he says he will not be trapped by you then say really cool, good aslong as you pay me monthly and he takes 50 percent of the work, thats ok.
If he gets the feeling that you know precisely what you want and that you will be happy even without him, he might get feeling that its his kid and he wants apart in it.
What ever you do try to stay friendly with him. If you two are meant for eachother then one day it could work out.
And last but not least. Congratulations! Your going to be a Mom. Its the best thing in the world.
2006-11-25 07:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by eidunotno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't want to see him anymore. And when he asks why, say, because I'm having your child and I know you don't want children. So rather than put up with your anger and derogatory BS about me being pregnant, I'm giving you a way out. And no matter what he says about it, just tell him he should have thought about that before F*ing you without protection. Plain and simple a man CAN NOT not take some responsibility for things like this when they choose to love w/out a glove. You've got to be strong and tough and ready to stand your ground. If you've decided what you want from this pregnancy, then be strong and stick with it. Even if it means he decides not to be involved, because there is something more important coming along that is bigger than you and him.
2006-11-25 08:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok how can you be a couple weeks pregnant? it takes at least 4 weeks to get a missed period and actually be pregnant, and majority dont find out till 5-6 weeks...ANYWAYS...just do it like you would pull off a band-aid and say your pregnant, if he is a real man he would be supportive in whatever decision you make and try to be there for you reguardless if you kept it or didnt. if he decides not to stick around then he will surely be paying for it....not only in child support but in guilt
2006-11-25 07:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by clubsandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. You also need to decide which is more important, him or your child. If he can't realize that HE helped create the baby, not you alone, then maybe you need to be with someone who loves you regardless. Just try to explain it to him. Some 'fathers-to-be' are very scared. After they see their baby though, it's usually a different story. I wish you the best of luck :)
2006-11-25 07:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by ~Anna~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look. Ultimately it is your decision if you want to keep the baby. But it looks like you have different oppinions already and this is not good. Your relationship does not sound like it wll last. Do you really want to be with a guy who does not want to care for his own child??? Tell him. And if he does not support your decision he is not worth it. Its all about your baby now. Not just you.
2006-11-25 07:46:47 · answer #7 · answered by ce_ben1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sooner u tell him the faster the both of u can plan the next step. on my anniversary day i found out i was pregnant and i couldnt get the courage to tell my bf when he called to wish us happy anni. so instead later that night i decided to text him the news and from there we worked on what we were goin to do. he was scared and so was i but its all about believing in urself and each other, we just graduated from h.s. when i found out about it but we both decided that it was our responsibility to take care of our actions and now we dnt regret our choice and we're just waitin for this baby to come out.
2006-11-25 10:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by bori6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him. my husband and i planed our first which we weren't married yet and when i told him that i was pregnant, he seemed a little shocked and with our second we didn't plan and he seemed happy. i was so scared to tell him and i kept telling my self that if he really loved me then he would stay. i told him that i was pregnant and he looked at me and said " it was going to happen sooner or later" then he told me that we were going to have to get married since i was pregnant again. we have never been happier. you need to tell him. it will just get worse if you don't.
2006-11-25 11:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by ncaa_champs_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the longer you wait the madder it will make him when you do tell him. i asked my babys daddys sister to help me tell him. maybe you could find a close friend or relative to help you. no matter what you need to tell him asap
2006-11-25 07:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by princessnannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋