I don't know who I am?

Question

I want a boyfriend and i don't have one and i think its coz they can't fall in love with who i am because i don't know who i am. I've changed so muchover the years. I always worry about wat others want me to be. It is so confusing and i know wat yous are thinkin that it will come to me over time. I really dun want that answer. How do i figure it out. I wanna know me and love me!

Answer 1

That is a great way to start. You want to know 'you' and love yourself. Yes, that is the first issue to solve, and the boyfreind part comes much later. How do you love yourself ? Why do you keep worrying about others, and making others happy ? I assume you have a difficulty in saying 'no', and 'this is how 'I' do it, and this what 'I' want. Since you have realised that over time you have been making others happy, you have lost a lot of time on yourself. This would take a lot of effort, and will power. And no it ''will not come to you over time''. Make a complete u-turn of your life. Start with comparing yourself today, and sit a while and think what you want to be in five years time time, starting from NOW. The big question is, Do you see yourself when you are 50, and would you be this way till then ? When you are 50, you would realise on all the good things that have come your way and you did not make best of situations, and that you have not lived a life that you could have chosen. You would be shocked to look back and see what you have lost then. It is never too late. As I said, make a complete turn over. Start first with the goals you have to achieve, in terms of career/education, set yourself things you want to do which you havent done for such a long time. It could be anything, like a completely new routine for yourself. Think of all the little things you have missed out on, like freinds ? travelling ? join some club ? salsa dancing ? anything you can think of new places, new faces...and at the same time becoming a whole new you to the world. Come outside yourself, and see you as another person, and think of all the changes you have to make. When you have this positive 'aura' around you, you will see that everything else comes along with it, like boyfreinds, people accepting you the way you are. Through this, you would get your self-confidence back. Now all that does not come easy, cos' you have to also think of other things like ''what is it that worries you about other people ?. Are you afraid of people resenting you ? Keep away from people who are negative about you. You chose to live your own life, and nothing, absolutely nothing else should matter. And during this phase, you will see who your true freinds are, and who will stick by you, by appreciating all the things you are doing, and not resent you. Whoever resents you, too bad, and that shouldnt be your worry at all, its your life, right ? You have nothing to lose, but you would be happy that you did not make the wrong choices. I suggest that once you are really making all these efforts, you dont have to really ''want'' a boyfreind, start by being with yourself first.

Everything else just follows. It will, I am sure. So get going, and start now. You are special, and obviously you have a whole lot of things to do and achieve before you sit back and say, okay, I am done ! And for others to see you are special, you have to ''know'' that and love yourself first. The more you know what you want to be, the more you would work along those lines. Take charge, control of your life NOW. And this will pass too, this feeling you have will dissolve on its own, as long as you do work on it.

goodluck

Answer 2

You only find out who you are by trial and error. No one can give you that answer for it is one you have to find yourself. What works for one person may not work for another it's called diversity. I'm not sure why you worry about what others want you to be for in the end you will have to be the one to decide. If you don't like who you are change it. Only a fool does the same problem over and over and expects a different answer.

Answer 3

well it's so easy... just beleive that u r a person...u have ur qualities,caractere and personality.... You should trust urself...and beleive in urself...you are important...you are something special...

think about it...
Never show the others that u r nothing.... when they feel u that u beleive urself, they will love u..... we all are not the same.... a lot of guys might like ur caracter and personality.... just beleive in urself.... u r a peerson..u r important...do not show of, but let them feel u like urself

good luck

Answer 4

Read "The Profit" by Kahlil Gibran. He knew himself really well and helped to inspire me to learn more about myself.
-NmD!

Answer 5

I'm the same. I didnt have a boyfriend til i was 20.

Answer 6

Don't be so uptight about who you are! Change is good and natural! You will find a guy (or one will find you). Just hang in there!

Answer 7

Y whud u care wat ppl think of u?

u wasted ur life if u keep doing that...be comfortable of wat u want to do and wat u feel like...

now u just confuse urself
think about what have u changed about urself and wat hav u not change.
u r worrying too much about ur social life that u r ruining the rest of urself

( C G ONCE AGAIN SHUT UP, NOBODY CARES ABOUT UR STUPID ADVERTISEMENT...ARRGGH)

Answer 8

keep a journal...it helped me find who i am.

Answer 9

finding yourself is not that easy but accepting yourself for who you are is a big step that will help you to find wut your lookin for..
who the hell cares wut others says about you? its you! and they cant change that! if they cant accept you for who you are then they dont deserve you