When i was around 19, i went out with this great guy for about a month. We had alot of fun, he even told his parents that he was gay and that i was his boyfriend. i think the reason i got away from him was because he seemed needy and i didnt have the capacity to deal with someone with issues at that time. i felt realy bad because i feel like i led him into the thing, told him i loved him (wich i did), then dropped him like a hot potatoe! He said i came along at the right time because he had been going through alot of really bad things, so im sure me doing that to him didnt help him but only made things alot worse. i feel like i used him like a toy or something and still feel bad like 20 years later! Help!
2006-11-24 20:42:36 · 6 answers · asked by EAT! 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There is only one relationship that matters and that's the person you end up with (thru marriage or partnership or whatever) That's your one "true love"
Every other relationship is the sound of one hand clapping and that's the saddest sound there is. Everyone says I love you. In some relationships you are the liar and in others it's the other person. Don't worry about it - karma will sort it all out (if you were really crappy to someone - don't worry, someone will be crappy to you)
If it helps, asking sincere forgiveness from the person you hurt is a good idea but don't always assume they will grant it to you or you will ask in a sincere enough way. Like I said, don't worry - karma is for real and works.
NOW - let me ask you a question. Is all this coming up because of guilt or regret that this person may have been the one "true love" If the latter, well you've got yourself a whole other thing ;)
2006-11-24 21:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by extraordinareality 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One of the things that happens to us when we got older is that we look at our behavior in the past with some degree of horror because we didn't know the consequences of our actions at the time. Think about it, aren't there a bunch of things you would do differently if you knew then, what you know now? That's normal, and I think its a good thing that you feel remorse for your hurtful behavior.
However, its in the past, its over and done and cannot be changed. What you can change is the present, and in changing the present, you change the future. Actually this is the message of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
We all did stupid hurtful things when we were kids (and a 19yr old is a kid still), and while not a great thing to have in your past, you can still forgive yourself and move on. If you haven't already, learn from what you did and resolve to never do something like that again. And forgive yourself, something that is hard to do for alot of folks. It sounds like you are holding onto these bad feelings for a reason, and maybe you should look at what they represent. Perhaps your self confidence or self esteem is not what it should be because you feel like you are a bad person. Remorse is good but not when it cripples you.
Simply tell the person in your head that you are sorry and forgive yourself for being young and stupid and let it go.
2006-11-25 07:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive yourself and move on. Nobody is perfect. Someone I was with for 5 1/2 years dumped me, because he found someone on the Internet. Yeah, our relationship needed work, but I thought we could work through it together. However, he didn't see it that way. He left without telling me he was going permenantly. It hurt for about 6 months or so, but I survived, and this person that you left will survive as well. Things happen in life that we can't change. Don't worry about what you can't change, worry about what you can change.
2006-11-25 05:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jay S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after a 7 year relationship I got dumped..just like that...boom....that was 20 years ago..there's now nothing to be said....I'm sad that it didn't work, I'm sad that he didn't want me in the end...but that WAS a long time ago.
2006-11-25 04:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to forgive yourself and move on
2006-11-25 05:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anything, you both learned a good life-lesson.
Forgive yourself, let it go and move on with your life.
I'm sure he has.....
./
2006-11-25 09:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋