I have been talking to this man, Joe online for quite awhile and found out that we have a lot in common. We finally met and he is a perfect gentleman. He is not expecting sex. We just talked and held eachother for hours. I have strong feelings for him and I know he has strong feelings for me. It's hard to describe the feelings that I get when I talk to him or see him. I'm all smiles and when I am with him it just seems like everything is just like it should be. The problem is I'm married and he knows that. He's asked me before if I plan to leave my husband eventually and what will happen when and if we fall in love. I just seem to be living in the moment. It's just everything seems so right with this guy. I get the warm fuzzy feeling when I am with him. I do love my husband (he's my best friend) but, I haven't felt like that with him for quite awhile(b4 Joe). I am so scared to leave my husband because I love his family and my family loves him but, I think I might be falling for Joe.
2006-11-24 18:26:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont listen to SUNSHINE. Youre pefectly normal! Nor are you a bad person. Its normal but you must honor your vowels and your mariage. Its so easy to fall for somethng new cause its new. Think this:
If you ended up with this man and married him where everything was comfortable and old and you didnt know the man your married to now and you just met HIM and it was all new, what would you do? Leave him to be with the new guy (which is your hubby now)? That helps me when me thoughts get wacky.
2006-11-25 07:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have invested the time and effort into your marriage that you put into falling in love with this guy ! you did because you are lazy and wanted a way out of your marriage , you don't love your husband and should think of him a little more how about his feelings? look what you are doing your emotionally cheating on him put the effort into your husband call it quits with "Joe" Or do what you have been trying to do and just leave but maybe with Joe there will be trust issues down the road so have fun you made a sick bed and now you will suffer the consequences of your actions , and the dude is expecting sex he just has not told you , Think about this.. OK so you leave your husband for "Joe" what is Joe gonna think down the road you did it for him he was able to brake you why would it not be possible for any other guy to make you fall in love with them and then have you leave Joe for them he will know this and it will become an issue you sound so selfish and as far as Joe he should go out and find someone single to play with .... YOU ARE MESSED UP !!
2006-11-24 18:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
So, your hubby is your best friend? Did you tell him about Joe? Thought not. Why not? Don't we usually tell our best friends all our secrets? And I find it hard to believe you love your husband. If you did you wouldn't be asking this question because you wouldn't have put yourself in this position to start with. You are being very selfish. You need to make up your mind and end one of these relationships and it sounds like you should end your marriage. If your hubby is the good man you claim him to be he deserves a good, honest woman that loves him and will think of him and not herself where another relationship is concerned. You should have never let the relationship with Joe go this far. If you can't have a platonic relationship with a man without falling for him you shouldn't be chatting, talking or seeing them. And I'd bet a years (or more) salary that if you and Joe get together he won't trust you. He'll figure if you left hubby #1 for him you'll leave him for the next guy you chat with. I think this thing with Joe is just giving you the warm and fuzzy feeling because it's different and to you exciting.
2006-11-24 18:38:33 · answer #3 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well i wish I could say this is rare but it isn't. Sometimes, when you're in a long term relationship, it looses it fizzle. You lose the closeness with your mate and lets face it, the warm fuzzy butterfly feeling is gone after a few years. Women need to have that at all times and if your husband isn't doing anything to spark that feeling here and there, the relationship dwindles, thus making you yearn for that feeling and rush. I would recommend not taking anything further with Joe. You basically already are cheating if you are seeing this man and letting him hold you for hours. I am sure your husband would feel that way atleast. Instead...I recommend questioning your intentions with this man deeply and considering if it is worth losing your husband over. Chances are it isn't. Probably something like a mid-life crisis or fulfilling your need for spontaniaty or lust you are missing in your marriage. I wouldn;t reccommend anything further with this man until you know yourself what you want. Not only is it not fair to you and your husband's relationship, but it isn't fair to this Joe fella. Think hard before you do....it's easy to fall into lust when your lonely and worse off sex is easy when you are confused. Be careful, seems like you're playing with fire.
2006-11-24 18:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Surely you are not as dumb as you write yourself up to be! Of course an internet romance is terrific. You meet a guy for a few minutes and he is the love of your life??? lady, you are just bored with your marriage. If you were to work as hard on your husband as you have on this newby, your marriage would be rock solid. But you choose to be unfaithful to your husband and use the excuse that " your life is aglow" and you haven't felt that in a long time. Well, hon, you have my sincere pity. ANYONE you are with for a period of time will bore you at times...written law of marriage # 9. Do you think you are the only person who was ever bored in marriage. Get real. BUT, most of them do not run off and have an affair..and that is exactly what you are doing. again, GET REAL. You would be as bored with the new one as you are now...give or take a few years, and it is all the same. YOU have a funny way of showing just how much you lover your husband and best friend,..you repay him by carrying on with another man. Do your husband a favor and dump him. He deserves someone far better than you .... he deserves someone who will love him even when he is boring. Believe it or not, there ARE people who do not carry on when they are bored...they wait it out, they act to liven things up, and they are faithful to the vows they took. You on the other hand, think that life has "do-overs." You talk like you are 15, not a married woman. Good luck finishing off whatever you are doing, for that is exactly what you are doing.
2006-11-24 18:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you would be, It is wrong what, you are doing to the your husband. For one. You got to ask your self is this really worth it. Find new love is exciting and fresh. But, I will give my single life up just to find someone there for me. Now, search within your self and asks God, for guideless and help. Because, once you commit adultery, You can't change the hands of time. And make a list of the great things about your husband. If the good, out weight the bad.. You are taking too much of a risk.
I wish you wisdom.
2006-11-24 18:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by casamatia32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your having an emotional affair! Just as bad if not even worse then a sexual affair. You need to decide what you are going to do. Remember you have only seen the side to your on line guy that he wants you to see. You met him too but that doesn't mean he wasn't on his best behavior.
Remember also that you use to have this feeling with your husband. That didn't last forever. You think what you have now with this dude will?
Think about this one how would u feel if it was your husband seeing a girl on line?
2006-11-24 21:18:21 · answer #7 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a simular situation. However, I do no love my husband and never have. But because you have loved your husband you can rekindle those feelings with him. Don't fall into anothers arms just because your getting warm fuzzies. Trust me it is just the excitement of feeling attractive again, getting to know someone new and it's even kind of exciting to sneek around. I know, I'm doing it! BUT I jumped from the frying pan into the fire. Please, Please, Please. tell him befor it's too late and you do actually cheat. it always begins in the mind, but you can stop it there. Everyone has a bad side and you WILL find Joes as well! Bordem will set in once again and if your like me you'll look for the next fix of warm fuzzies.
2006-11-24 18:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by who who 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you already messed up by letting someoneelse in your heart i was in the same sitaution except this guy was my best friend we grew up together and i loved him he got sent to the pen and i moved on with my life well he got out and came to see me and my mom and it was like old times except hes married and so am i when i found out i felt hurt but why i wasnt thinking about my family i created with someone else and i had butterflies and even went so far as to emailing him i was wrong me and my husband has been through to much to throw things away on butterflies in my stomach ...this guy was supose to be mine ...i would even cheat to have a part of him thats so wrong ...so i just try to get over it and remember why i got married in the first place...just think about it ...i did ...innocent people will get hurt can u picture the kids crying and asking mommy and you have no good answer and hes hurt cant even look at you the regret u feel and not to forget joe what will he do if yall cant be together he'll get hurt...i feel for you ...i know how you feel my heart hurts so much bc i think what if......good luck to you...
2006-11-26 12:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband like you claim you do then why do you need to look for something else outside of your marriage? You say you don't want to lose your husband but you're doing the very thing that would cause you to lose him. If there is something missing in your marriage this should tell you that you need to start communicating with your spouse about it, instead of looking for it with someone else.
It's so easy to feel "in loved" with someone when you're not sharing your daily life with them 24/7 but you have to realize that you are not being fair to this other guy because you really have no intentions of leaving your husband.
2006-11-24 18:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by jdhs 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋