I dont think I can handle this anymore?

Question

My son is only 5 months old..he has been hospitalized twice. He has been diagnosed with sleep apnea, sagittal craniosynosis, tremurs, bronculitis, bonchio spasms and the most recent ringworm. He has had one surgery for his sagittal craniosynosis last month. I keep telling myself that it is fixable but I am afraid that one day something will be wrong with him and it wont be fixable. How can I keep my head up when so many things are always wrong with him? He is on breathing treatments every day until April...it is getting hard to keep happy! Do you have any advice for me?

He also has ezcema and we are working really hard to try and clear that up

Answer 1

Don't loose your faith. I was not expected to live long after birth and the doctors insisted I would not make it, but I did. They told my mom that I would not live past five years of age, but here I am. Doctors told me as a teen that I would loose the ability to walk as I got older. That was 15 years ago and my favorite pastime is rollerblading. I am only 28 and have been diagnosed with asthma, Rhumatoid arthritis, Mitrol Valve Prolapse, Degenerative Disk Disease, Carpel tunnel, and Spondylosis. In fact, a couple of the methods they now use to treat respitory problems like Asthma in very young children were developed by my team of doctors when I was but a toddler dealing with my severe breathing problems. It was not always easy for me growing up, I spent a lot of time in the hospital. But you know what? I don't regret any of it, dealing with my illnesses has taught me many lessons...the most important one of them is FAITH. You should trust in the Lord to do what is right and leave it in his hands.
I know it is so easy to be overwhelmed with what you are going through, and I truly feel for your situation. But please don't give up, keep faith, that sweet baby depends on you. I have dealt with medical problems throughout my youth and I continue to deal with things even today. But I wouln't trade my life for the world. What others may consider as my weaknesses are what made me strong. You can do this. Get through this hurdle and have faith and trust in God. "All things work as good to those that love the Lord" I will pray for you! Good luck!!

Answer 2

One piece of advice that I always give to parents of my students that have a lot of stress (I teach special needs students, and some of them have, in the past, been extremely medically fragile, with lots of medical conditions and disorders), is to find yourself a support group.

There may not be one for exactly the disorders that your son has, but there could be one for preemies with medical needs, or one for Infants in Critical Care, etc.

These mothers and their leaders get together maybe once a week and give each other support and you'd really be surprised at how much it helps, even just knowing that there's someone else out there who will listen, and that you're not alone.

Exchanging phone numbers and having someone to call when you are ready to pull your hair out is also a great relief, even if you never use it!

Meditation is another thing that helps. Daily affirmations, even five minutes in the mornings, can help you stay grounded and clear to what you need to do that day and not feel so overwhelmed. Don't lose your spiritual sense of self, because it is just as important as anything.

Good luck!

Answer 3

With all of the health problems he's been experiencing it is completely understandable how you would feel stressed and emotionally drained. You have been dealing with quite a bit and I am sure it's easy to feel as though the ordeal is never going to let up. I am not familiar with all of the conditions that he's been diagnosed with... but infants are incredibly resilient and more than likely he will be just fine. You just have to take care of you as well... because he needs you to be strong for him now (as trying as this may all be on you).

My son expereinced some complications after birth... related to malpositioning in the womb and a neck injury which either occured from the malpositioning or during delivery. We had to do physical therapy with him to help resolve the issue and he now has a slightly asymetrical skull as a result of the neck issue. Although not nearly as much as you've been dealing with... I can somewhat understand how stressful it is when there is something physically wrong with your baby. You just want it all to be better and it drains you emotionally (as well as physically... just caring for a 5 month old baby... let alone one with health problems). There is a light at the end of the tunnel though.

Things will improve. The modern medical advancements luckily afford us much better outcomes to many of the difficulties/illnesses encountered in this day and age. You just have to take this one day at a time instead of looking too far into the future. Hopefully you have people around you who are being helpful and supportive. If not try to enlist some. Don't try to do it all on your own. We Americans pride ourselves on being so independent and self-sufficient... often to our own detriment. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.

Best wishes.

Answer 4

Children are a blessing that can't be taken for granted. It's better that this all happen to him know when he can't remember it than later on when he's starting school or something like that. There is a reason for everything that happens in life and the only thing I can think of for this is that God is testing you to see how well of a parent you are, and so far, it sounds like you're doing pretty good. Keep your head up and know that everything will get better.

Answer 5

Hi there................ Our kids just seem to exist sometimes to worry us to death don't they?! Even mum's of totally 'healthy' babies worry about their little ones sleeping too much, not enough, feeding too often, not being hungry, crying 'strangely', having odd lumps and bumps, vomiting.and don't even get me started on the subject of 'poop observation'!!!!
Your baby sounds like he's giving you plenty to worry about in his short time he's been around!! Sleep apnea is a worry, I'm guessing you have one of those monitors that checks up on his breathing and goes off if he stops too long between breaths. They can be very reassuring.but terrifying if they sound the alarm by mistake. With the combination of bronchospasm and eczema have you considered an allery?? My sisters three boys all had very 'rattly' chests with frequent chest infections and terrible itchy eczema too. As thet grow to about four or five they just seem to grow out of it.
Surgery on your child is very scarey.they are so little and fragile seeming, but little ones are TOUGH!!!!! Look at what they have to go through during birth.
Your baby boy has been through one surgery ok............if he needs others he should be ok again.
The ringworm is minor, more of an annoyance on top of everything else you are coping with right now.so much trauma for you in such a short space of time........................ HANG ON IN THERE YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!! Your son is very lucky to have a mum who worries about him so much.
Don't forget to look after yourself and if you can, allow yourself some time off. Have you considered that perhaps you have a touch of post natal depression??? It can make you feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders and make you worry even more about your baby. I hope you have some support where you live, it can be very lonely stuck in the house with a new baby, and gives you too much time alone to worry.
Try to keep in mind how strong your son has been so far....ENJOY your son being small...............soon he'll be a huge and hungry teenager and you'll wonder where the years went!!
God bless. Big hugs. Libbi x

Answer 6

I am so sorry that you and your family are have such a rough time. Make sure that you take care of yourself too and if the feelings of not being able to cope continue, see a professional. It is possible to get post partem depression even though your baby is 5 months old. Take care you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Answer 7

SURE you can handle it. You have to.
My grandson has Down Syndrome and lives with us as does my son. He takes breathing treatment daily. He was a sick little guy right after he was born. But he is strong now.
Keep fighting for your little one. He needs you.

My daughter died from cancer in 1990.
I never gave up, even when they told me she only had a few weeks to live.

Answer 8

share you feeling with every available person in your life and ask for help. Moms, sisters, Aunts, dads, friends. And don't forget about mom herself. Sometimes a little away time helps. Just hang in and if someone asks to take up the slack don't feel guilty just take it.

Answer 9

hang in there and keep your faith. try to be happy for the blessing that you do have, and great things will come. until that day though just put on a happy face, deal with the stress, and love your baby with all of you. good luck sweetie.

Answer 10

i am so sorry that your family are going through. i understand what you are saying (how can i be happy through all of this?) i cant honestly say it is possible. just put the situation in God's hands, he is a miracle worker (i know because he healed my son). i will be praying for you and your family.