How do I act?

Question

I have two situations:

1st-
My friend's mom passed away recently from cancer. How should i act around her? I know avoiding her is wrong, but I feel nervous about hurting her feelings when I talk to her.

2nd-
I have some friends of mine that cut their wrists. Personally, I think it's horribly disgusting for them to do so, but hey...it's their choice, not mine. What should I do/say around them?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Answer 1

First of all, your friend who just lost her mom needs you now more than ever, she needs a person to be close to her that she can count on. She needs to have you near her and just to have her open up about a lot of things. I don't think you need to worry about saying the wrong thing around her, all you need to do is listen to her explain how she's feeling with her loss. Give her encouraging words of wisdom and stay positive for her.
Second of all, I think you need to confront your friends and let them know that you know what they're doing. 1. Tell someone. People who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest - admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Choose someone you trust to talk to at first (a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse). If it's too difficult to bring up the topic in person, write a note.

2. Identify the trouble that's triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you're having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful.

3. Ask for help. Tell someone that you want help dealing with your troubles and the cutting. If the person you ask doesn't help you get the assistance you need, ask someone else. Sometimes adults try to downplay the problems teens have or think they're just a phase. If you get the feeling this is happening to you, find another adult (such as a school counselor or nurse) who can make your case for you.

4. Work on it. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life's stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor's office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.

BTW: The first website will help you with your grieving friend; just read the articles and place them into action.
The second website is a group I moderate, have all three friends join (you can join, too).
The third website is for the group I moderate.

Answer 2

For the first situatin, just be there for your mom and you don't have to say anything special to her. Just let her know you love her alot.

Now for the second situation, HORRIBALY DISGUSTING?!? Do they even know your writing this about them? Do you even know why they're cutting her wrists? Some people do it for lack of attention in their lives, others do it for an escape from everything else, as a "solution" to their problem. I'm sorry if I seem pissed off, but I'm an x-cutter, and I'm sick of all this stereo-type crap. You don't have to act pitiful around them, if your a loyal friend, you would seriously want them to stop cutting, and you'd show it.

Answer 3

The ppl who cut their wrists r COWARDS. They dont know how 2 live. Just say THIS 2 them n still if they do the same thing , stop being friends with them.

Answer 4

!rst ........ act the same as you did before and ask her how she has been. avoiding her is hurting her more then not talking to her.

2nd ..... ask them what would make them do this... try to find out whats in their head and talk about it if you really care about them!

Answer 5

your friend: if you dont know what to say, just be there for her. my friend had a stillbirth, and i didnt know what to say or do, so i was just there for her. i let her bring it up, and then just listened to her, and if you think something you say will offend her, then just keep your mouth shut and listen, just let her know that you are there for her, you will be there for her if she needs a shoulder or just a caring ear

Your other friends: they just want attention..get them some help