when i was growing up my moms second husband was very abusive, im an adult now but still carry this burden of hate. i don't think they are worthy of forgiveness but i want to be done with it. any advice?
2006-11-24 16:54:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hate is a very needy emotion...you have to keep feeding it and nurturing it to keep it alive and growing. Do you realize how much emotional energy you are expending on hating this person? Is he really worth all the time and emotion that you are using up? Hating him cannot change what happened in the past, but it does change your present and your future. I know that forgiveness isn't easy, but it is necessary if you want to move forward.
Look the word forgive up in a dictionary....you will find that it simply means "to give up resentment against or all claim to punish or exact penelty." Nowhere does it say that you have to renew the relationship or even be friendly to that person. You simply have to give up the idea that YOU are the one who must punish him.
2006-11-24 17:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by SUSAN N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did not deserve what happened to you and you are not alone; many people are dealing with this same pain (I speak from experience). FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU, not the other person.
Treat others as you would like to be treated; give without the expectation of receiving; give more than you take; be nice to people - by doing this you will comfort someone who has been hurt.
You may want to read self-help books, sometimes this helps me.
You deserve to be happy, take care of yourself! Start doing outdoor activities, such as; bike riding, skating, tennis, ect...
these activities will reduce stress in your life.
You helped me by asking this question, now I don't feel like I am the only one who is hurting. Thank You!
Barbi
2006-11-25 11:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time heals wounds, you just have to try to keep busy and live well. that way you wont think about the past so much,. If you carry around all that hate it will eat at you and eventually take you over causing you illness and pain, so you haven't much of a choice unless you want to be miserable, and it sounds like you've had enough misery good luck
2006-11-25 01:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, you can't get over it until you forgive. hating them is only giving in.
a person like that is very hard, perhaps even impossible to forgive. when i am struggling with forgiving someone, i turn to jesus, who is able to look at that person and see only love. if you look at this man through Jesus' eyes, he will help you, and relieve you of your burden. carrying hate around in your heart like that will make a person sick. you just need to give it up to Jesus. Just let go of all the hate, and sadness, and just ask Jesus to take it all away.
i am praying for you.
2006-11-25 01:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
t's not a question of "are they worthy" - the question is "are you?"
Hate is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
He was probably abused as well, or plagued by simular demons. if you can see where his behavior came from, its easier to see him as a person deserving in compassion - (I know, it sounds impossible, but what we're really trying to do is help you get over this feeling that is only hurting you)
2006-11-25 01:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just honor and respect him.
(and good luck with that advice.)
2006-11-25 02:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by sincere12_26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋