What do you do when you've been pretending for years that you have feelings for someone but really don't? How do you break such devastating news to that person? Or, maybe it's best to just go on living the lie you've been living and not create a firestorm among your family and hers.
2006-11-24 16:52:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it's that hard to break the news then I'd say you must have some feelings for that person. I really think it all depends on how comfortable you are within the relationship. Many people will remain in that situation unless it becomes intolerable or they meet someone that they feel is worth leaving the "comfort zone" for. The older one gets, the harder it sometimes is to venture out on your own (especially true for women because of finances). The sad but true fact is that there are probably many loveless marriages in the world. The reasons can be kids, finances, convenience, fear and doubt of the unknown.
2006-11-24 17:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by funlady6632@yahoo.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a big difference in loving someone and being in love with someone. You can live with someone and love them and then you can live with someone a be totally in love with someone. I sympathize with your feelings. I have personal exprience with the same thing. It is extremely hard to deal with but I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to make the move. You will know when the time is right if it ever is. Things get even more complicated when you have kids in the picture. no matter what happens I wish you the best.
2006-11-25 01:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by giamc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be helpful if you realised that you are not only hurting you but the person you are "pretending" for. That person deserves to have a meaningful, full relationship with someone and they cannot do that because they believe they have it with you. Be kind but do not go on living a lie. If you truly do not have feelings for someone you owe it to both of you to let you both move on. If you do it right you could end up friends.
2006-11-25 00:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by D D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why waste your & or her life . Be Honest. Tell her peoples feelings change as dose the time - days - ones you lose- new friends - life changes every day. It is what one dose about the change that make him or her whole.. You can only love the one your with as much as you love your self. Living in a lie & or not being honest , must make one feal very bad. Enjoy your life while you can ... Do Your self a favor & move on , life is just to short.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-11-25 01:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by TT Bomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fist of all are you married? why did you marry her if you didnt love her.that is the cruelist thing anyone could do to a person is to pretend. if you didnt love her you should of not gotten married and separated before you took the vows. would you be interested in seeing a counselor with her and try and work out the problem? if you could go to a counselor and talk to him first and see what he says about this situation and then go from there.does she love you?can you create a love fire again?is there some way that you can get to know this dear person and see if something can be rekindled in your heart again for her?pray and ask god to put love in your heart for her.he can certainly do this.nothing is impossible with him. what if you separated and discovered that you really did love her and maybe it was too late to be with her again.ask god to direct you and help you.
2006-11-25 01:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
so you pretended to love this person and all along did not? is that what your saying. and now you want to know if you should tell her this. No i wouldn't this would just hurt her more. she doesn't need to know that. you can just say I dont' feel the same anymore im not in love with you. its not you its me. and I can't change how i feel im sorry for all this. either way your going to hurt her. and divorce is never pleasent to hear. but why damage her more by saying you never loved her thats just the final nail in the coffin. let her have her memories with you for what ever they meant to her.
2006-11-25 01:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is always mechanical action but then again, you are not screaming out of pleasure but out of a cover-up for agony. Why not get a divorce if it is over? Unless, the issue is getting it up, which I kind of read between the lines here, then try Viagra.
2006-11-25 00:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by shtupidshmuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats pretty sad!!
but their is no easy way to do this. it will be devistating on the both of you to say the least.
maybe you need some time apart or something!!
i would hate to see this end!!
have you tried counseling?
if it did not help and you have done all that you can and it doesnt work.
then/ the only way out is thru.
[good luck]!!!
and if you need to talk jus email me and we will talk [anytime]!!
david.
2006-11-25 00:59:44 · answer #8 · answered by david_strickland31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sing "Say Goodbye" by Chris Brown to them. lol j/k... but the lyrics of that song is really meaningful. You should tell that person before they get hurt, you know? ~Rin
2006-11-25 00:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by Michi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be u r responsible for the situation. If so, u stand to gain nothing.
2006-11-25 00:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋