Am I to strict with my kids? I don't think so but everyone else I know thinks I am?

Question

The truth is I try & raise my kids to take responsibilities for their actions because the day they turn 18 a judge will not take excuses. When my daughter was 4 she told what people consider a "fib", which I said was a lie. I pointed out to her that if she told a lie than she's a liar end of discussion. If my son says he is going to be home at 10 & he comes homes at 10:01 than he's late. Maybe the reason I feel so striong is because I was married to a drunk good for nothing liar. (I do not speak of him that way in front of my kids) but he is now 41 & his mommy who he is living with can see no wrong in her son. I want my kids to be happy kids but 2 are teenagers & I will not be as foolish as my mother was when I was a teen. I will allow them to cut class as long as I know before hand but I'm strict in other ways. Parents of teens or anyone else I'd like your opinion

Answer 1

GOOD FOR YOU!!! Keep it up for God's sake!!! Parenting has gone straight to hell if you ask me. Never have I seen such a herd of spoiled, thoughtless kids as the ones of late. These silly parents that think their kids can do no wrong.... Trying to be a friend INSTED of a parent... not teaching them any sense of responsibility. Sad.

Answer 2

While I would never call my child a "liar" (name calling is a big no-no in this house), I agree with you 100% on the time issue. I have a 16 year old daughter. If she's to be home at 10, and isn't, then she best have called me with a DARNED good reason prior to 10, if she's not home or I haven't heard from her by 10:01, she's busted, and she knows it. My kids are not allowed to cut classes at school, period. I'll excuse them from school for very specific reasons, either they're sick, we've got a family issue (ie: 2 upcoming weddings that will require kids to miss a couple of days of school), doctor's appointments, or something completely unavoidable. I'm rather strict with my children too, and I agree with you, they have to learn to take responsibility for their own actions. Children actually want those limits, even teenagers. They may tell us they don't, but they do. They need the limits set for them.

Answer 3

It has nothing to do with children.
a) How rigidly are you living your own life? You can't expect anyone around you to perform differently than your own example.
b) Why are you so rigid? You suggest it is because of your ex-. You ex represented freedom and carefree to you. That is why you married him...and in time, why you divorced him. The issue inin your life came long before your marriage. No criticism, just stating a fact. Sometimes someone who has been raised "rigid" seeks out and marries a "free" spirit in order to taste the "freedom."
c) 10:01 may be late, but what about 10:00:02? Do you love your son? Of course. Would you rather he live in fear or an awareness of some grace in life.
d) Told a lie = means she told a lie. A liar - is that a 1 time sentence or is it a manner of life. If you went 1 mph over the speed limit = does that make you speeder for life?
Where is grace in your life that you can shre with your children?

Answer 4

Let me start off by saying I am a teenager so that may distort my view but I will try and be unbiased here.
Bluntly, I dont think that you should be so strict on your kids because you will get a "pinched-waterhose effect". If you are way too strict and constanlty on their case then as soon as they are out of the house and off to college all the built up need to run wild is going to come bursting out.
Kids need to be kids. If they dont have the bad expierences now then when they are adults (and supposed to be respondsible for their actions) they are going to make mistakes and then its really going to count, as in going to prison count.
My mother is rather lenient with me, my older brother, and younger sister. I feel I can be honest about the wrong things that i have done and almost never get into trouble. My brother has made some mistakes, such as drinking at a few parties, but that is just how teenagers live. He also got a ticket for underage drinking but paid for it himself and appeared in court on his own ( this all when he was 18 btw). My sister is also well behaved witha few expections like forgetting to call and making a mess of her room constantly.
A different example to consider would be my best friend whos parents are very strict. He cant even watch Rated-R movies without his parents around and hes 15...
Whenever we hang out at my house like on sleepovers he wants to stay up all night (something his parents wont let him do), he wants to rent tons of movies his parents wouldnt let him see, etc. etc. Basically a field day of breaking the rules.

Hope this helps you. I would say loosen up on the rules a little but since your kids are so used to rules dont go to far to quickly. Release the tension on the hose slowly and ease them in to a more relaxed life.

Answer 5

They should be glad to have such a responsible mother, being strict to them naturally felt a bit shitty. But once grown up, they will thank you dearly.
Parenting is like fishing, reel in too tightly the fish will struggle and eventually break loose. Sometimes, you will need to release your grip and let them have their own space.
Let them feel that you are their friend, and things will eventually go back to track of a happy parent & child relationship

Answer 6

I think you're doing what you think is best and no one can judge you for that. All our kids are different and we as their parents should know what is best in our own house holds. Are we not supposed to learn from our past and continue what is right and change what was bad? Keep up the good work, kids these days need all the discipline they can get.

Answer 7

I agree with you completely. Although I don't agree on the name calling especially to a small child. But 10:00 is 10:00 not 10:01. I'd stand firm so long as your fair.

Answer 8

Good. Might not seem like it now but theyll thank you. We wouldnt have half the problems if more parents would teach their kids responsibility and respect at home and the teachers would be given back control of their class. When will we wake-up. Hats off to you mam.

Answer 9

Grades are way important. Common sense would tell ya. I'd have them back by 9 and in bed by 10. I tell my kids that I love them everyday and give them big hugs too. I have 3 all under 10. Perhaps my advice will help. My dad had a 9pm cerfew. Good luck with yours. and may God surely bless you.

Answer 10

i think if your going to have kids you also have to have them grow up to be responsible adults. to many people have kids and then ask for hand outs and for other people like teachers the police to raise there children. Good you keep a strong arm on them sure there kids and they can have fun. but no disrespect and what you say goes. if more parents took an active approach in there kids whear abouts when there coming home we'd have fewer junviniles deliqueints out there.

good for you. keep up the good work. its not enougy just to have a kid and then let it run loose your repsonsibility to help them grow up in a loving home and with values.