He's older, in the military, he's american, i'm Iraqi...We're complete opposites..?

Question

I'm a 22 year old Iraqi lady, I met a man who I care for greatly.....He is 40.
He's also in the military, he told me that in january 2007, he will be going to the middle east....
We haven't known each other for very long, but we both really have strong feelings for each other,
he says that he loves me, and recently he's been talking about marriage, making little hints about us getting married.
I'm almost certain that he's going to propose before he heads off to afghanistan.

I'm not sure what to do, my mind tells me what im doing is wrong...There's too many differences in our cultures,
and in our beliefs, but at the same time my heart is saying that i love this man.

He's assured me that he doesn't care about differences, he just wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

Everyone around thinks im crazy. Is it wrong for us to be together? Will it be too difficult? If he going to get grief from people in the military because im an Iraqi? (but born in the states)

Answer 1

The world will tell you your wrong...but thats what makes you both legends in your own right..

Answer 2

love is blind.
you have to think about your age difference though because marriage is for life. It's like you are on two different time zones. When he starts to get tired (old or elderly), you'll still be young and full of energy wanting to stay up and hang out. Know what I'm sayin'?
And even though you are Iraqi, you are NOT the 'enemy'. My personal belief is that people should get married before having children. But if you're not gonna have children, just keep in touch and see each other whenever you can. I think you two can go many years into the future, but marriage may not be the answer.

Answer 3

I dont think it matters that you are iraqi. Many American service people have married into other cultures, be it Vietnamese, European, Japanese and tere has been no problem and many a happy marriage, bearing children. The fact taht he is older, hopefully means he is mature and knows what he is doing.
Military or not, marrying into a different culture is not always an easy thing, especially the extended family's acceptance of the spouse. However if it is true love and I am sure it is, then that is sure hard to beat and not something that comes in your life often nor easily..... So follow your heart is my advice.....

Answer 4

Dear Ma'am,
I would recommend a word of caution...anybody can laugh together but there are few people that you could trust the rest of your life with... I suggest that both of you look at the relationship objectively, Don't count any outside referances for advice. If you follow the heart, the heart is blind. Follow your brain... If your love this man and he loves you, be sure that you both know what you are getting into. The very fact that you bring up the age and cultural differences means that you are more worried about what other people think concerning it than you do. Be sure that if you are to make this lifelong decision that you doing this for both of you. Culturally, you and him are going to have to discuss your differences. If you neglect the issues they will never be resolved. I am in the military as well. Be sure that you are comfortable with his lifestyle and let him lead. If you are not comfortable, call it off. If you are to marry him, do not expect him to change. Women have a gift to see a potential in people and expect them to work to it. This will cause issues if you do not see him for who he is and accempt it. Last, but not least, give it time... If he really cares for you he will wait. If he cannot wait, well, think about it.

Answer 5

Why do you care about what other people think? And love conquers all. Everyone knows that. If you both love each other, and willing to WORK at a relationship everyday. And learn to compromise with each other. I don't see what the problem is.

But certain questions need to be answered before you get married.

1. Where will you live?

2. If you have children, which belief system will be the backbone of your children's upbringing?

3. Can you see yourself with this man for the rest of your life? Till death do you part.?

Answer 6

are the people around you saying its wrong because he's 40 or is it because he is a different religion etc,etc... I would do what my heart tells me, because you will have to live with him, not the other people. Love will make you do crazy things, and all you can do is hold on for the ride. If you leave him, you may never find another man who makes you feel the way he does. Plus you would always wonder what if?? I assume you are in the US? Another thing is that you are an adult and you can make your own choices in your life? all i say is do what your heart says, not your head or your family.

Answer 7

well, first off there is a major age difference...
personally,i wouldnt suggest you going any further with this type of relationship.
what does your family say? if they are against it from the beggining then u should end it cause there is going to be problems down the road..trust me being from a middle eastern background i know for sure that my family would be against it...first off you guys are from 2 very different cultures. think about your future..is this the person you see yourself with 10 years from now.
good luck..i am sure you will make the right decision..

Answer 8

yes you will have allot of problems. You will have problems with our culture, his family, his friends maybe your religion. But if you can but up with all the mess then its real love and do not worry about it. Do what your heart desires. But if you can't deal with it then it's not meant to be. Just make your decision before he goes to Afghanistan. He will have enough to worry about there just staying safe. He don't need any dear john letters then.

Answer 9

omg hii im middle eastern im actually jordanian if u both love eachother no matter what charachteristics u differ u will still have one thing in common LOVE dont be picky lifes to short and well love is hard to find i understand they culture wise but what they heck like allah says we are all they children of god each they same so dont worry take they risk love him

Answer 10

Marriage is a religious ceremony. If you are of the same religion and are becoming one soul under God, then yes, if you love him you should marry him. However, if you want to just do it, and can't appreciate the religious aspect of marriage, then don't do it. God bless and good luck.