Hi i am 22 and 4 months pregnant. Over the summer i went on a cruise ship for a vacation and some emotional recovery time. So my friends thought it would be a good idea for me to get away. Anyway on the cruise i met this Australian guy who was part of the cruise ships crew on the rock climbing wall he was an instructor.A romance ensued and well i am pregnant now. He is the only man who could be the father and took me a while but i tracked him down by sheer luck .I called the cruise line and lied said i was intrested in a trainer from the cruise training me but did not now a full name and i got a buisness card sent to me.
2006-11-24 16:26:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
What on earth do i say to him?
2006-11-24 16:26:56 · update #1
Well, I would try to just tell him your pregnant but in a way that won't cause him to become defensive. His initial thoughts are likely going to be "what does she expect from me?" so decide in advance. What DO you expect from him? Do you just want him to know so he has an opportunity to know the child? Do you want child support? Do you want to attempt a relationship? I'd say answer these questions for yourself and then be prepared to answer them for him. If you want child support then be prepared to demand a paternity test. I think I'd just start off with reminding him of who you are, when you were together, and then just lay it all out on the line and tell him what's going on (including what you would like to happen) and then just wait to hear what he has to say. Best of luck sweety!
2006-11-24 16:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ooooooooh yeah. You need to FIRST figure out what it is that you want. For example, I had an oopsie pregnancy once upon a time myself. My best friend said, "You GOTTA tell him. He has a right to know; what if he WANTS to be there?" So I told him. I think I would have been better off not doing that, but it's all over & done with now. If you don't expect anything from him, but you feel he should know that he'll have a child somewhere, break it to him gently, and be sure to tell him that that is the ONLY reason you decided to track him down. Tell him he has a choice as to the extent of his involvement. But don't forget...if he's somewhere very far from you, he may be there with a wife & 4 kids already.
2006-11-25 00:35:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the rock climber has climbed on more cruise ship patrons than rock walls. You are probably not the first "romance" he has encountered. First, it probably wasn't a romance for him, he was getting laid. Second, he will probably deny anything or act like he doesn't remember you.
You were alone when you boarded the ship and I am sorry you think you had a romance, but this guy, if he even talks to you, isn't likely to be involved.
GOOD LUCK
2006-11-25 00:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by richard w 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all I hate to tell you but cruise ship employees are notorious for having "ship board romances." Since your so called "romance" was not continued after you debarked and he choose not to keep in contact with you I would seriously just suck it up and get on with your life. If he is indeed Australian and not a US citizen there is no legal recourse for you to collect support or whatever you are looking for. You are the one who choose to take serious what he was poking at you in fun (so to speak). Plan on taking care of yourself and the child and good luck to you
2006-11-25 02:16:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who had a similiar experiance and one time after the baby was born ran into the guy again. She started talking to him trying to catch up and bring it up and he started talking about how much he was partying and such, so she decided not to tell him. She didnt want to have to deal with this guy (who also mentioned that his current girlfriend just had a abortion bececause he cant deal with kids) and have him in and out of her sons life for the next 18 yrs. When her son asks she said she will tell him his name and such if he wants to know. Its a tough call really, have a child is beautiful so please dont get down, and good luck everything happens for a reason even if it isnt known right now.
2006-11-25 00:40:04 · answer #5 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what you want from him - I think you should answer that question for yourself before calling him. Do you want him to play daddy for the kid? Do you want him to support the child financially? Are you prepared to hear him be upset and tell you to have an abortion? All things to think about. A guy who works on a cruise ship is not likely to want a committment from someone he had a fling with. Good luck to you.
2006-11-25 00:29:58 · answer #6 · answered by E A 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him to help with the child or do you want him to ask you to marry you? I think you should get your expectations clear in your own mind before you do anything.
He is unlikely to want to marry you, unless the romance was very special to him. He likely does that every cruise - sorry.
If you just want him to help pay for the child's care, then you need to realize that he may not want to do that, either.
If you just want to give him the chance to do anything, even if it's to never contact you again, then you're being more realistic.
Though you're both responsible for creating the child, I would think it would be very difficult to obtain a legal hearing where he would be responsible if he doesn't want to be.
Please, contact him only after you've accepted realistic expectations.
2006-11-25 00:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by nw_big_skies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i beleive in being upfront and honest ... so i would tell him that i was pregnant and he was the father .. then i would let him know what i needed or expected from him... but you also need to understand that even though he is responsible for his part so are you and you must be ready for what ever he says and be ready to stand strong if he bails on you ... either way if he does or doesnt you baby deserves to know what ever you can find out about him and his family medical and otherwise... i adopted three children and trust me they needed all sorts of questions answered like who do i look like where did i get these hands from or my thought patterns are so different where did i get those from ... a lot of questions .. do i have any other brothers or sisters... aunts uncles grandparents... they want to know all that stuff ...
2006-11-25 00:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about what you want from this guy, do you want him to be apart of the baby's life, money or just to let him know he is going to have a child. When you know thise things, it may be easier to tell him. (like saying, im pregnant and I just wanted you to know or im pregnant and I want you to be apart of babies life) He may be so happy and want to have a relationship with you and or child or he may not want to be apart of it. I hope he supports you and the baby. Good luck, must have been a great cruise!
2006-11-25 02:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by lividuva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was really a romance then he should remember you. I would say "remember--insert name---.. I was on a cruise --- insert dates---" Then ask him if he remembers. If he says yes then say "well I would love to see you again and show you the ultrasounds of OUR baby." It will be easier than just saying "you got me pregnant." Or serving him with paperwork after the baby is born. Good luck I hope he is excited!!!
2006-11-25 00:32:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋