Why is my 14 year old so racist?

Question

Ive noticed my son has been acting a bit crazy lately eg he made a paper plane, drew the Nazi Swastika symbol on it and crashed it into his sisters toy barbies.

I also noticed he stole a black doll off my his sister who is 7 years old and set it on fire whilst wearing a white sheet.

He also often tells me jokes that are not funny but very racist eg Whats the difference between a ni**er and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of five.

Is his imagination running wild or is it just a phase???

Please help cause I dont know what to do

Answer 1

its called discipline and education.

Answer 2

I have experienced being discriminated against first hand and it's relieving to see a parent who is concerned. Your son probably thinks that it is cool to say those sort of things so sit him down and tell him that it isn't. Give him a reality check. It is unlikely that your son has spontaneously decided to become racist, the most likely cause is from school, mainly from friends. Check things out and explain to your son that race doesn't automatically stereotype a person. I'm not saying that you should feed him educational videos about the horrors of Hitler or the achievements of African Americans, but talk to him, from father to son about what's acceptable and to stay above any negative friend influence. He's at the age of rebellion so don't be surprised if he reverts back to his old ways, but each time he does sit him down and talk to him. If anything, at least bring up the issue. If you say nothing then your son will think that you approve of the behavior.

Answer 3

You better start looking at his friends closely or get him some help now. If he is not getting this behavior at home then he is getting it at school or after school and it needs to come to an abrupt halt. If all else fails then Take him to a homeless shelter for Christmas and let him serve the homeless their Christmas dinner maybe that would give him a different outlook on life. If this is a legitimate question you both need some therapy if he is allowed to talk land behave like that.

Answer 4

Usually kids learn behavior through modeling, that is the people they see around them.

I believe you should take a step back and observe your own behavior. For instance, next time you see a person of a minority ethnic group who is more attractive, smarter, or richer than you, do not curse the individual and throw ethnic slurs at him/her.

If you are not racist maybe one of his friends is telling him these jokes.

If you had a brain you would ask the kid "where did you hear that joke?". Your kid would answer and you would not need Yahoo to help raise your bastard child. I have a feeling your inquiry is fake and you thought you would use the child story to tell the mediocre pizza joke.

Best regards,

Someone Smarter Than You

P.S. thanks for helping me reach level 2!

Answer 5

He is obviously very confused and stressed about something in his life. Kids at his age NEED to find something to identify with and structure. He might feel isolated and his self esteem might be low. Please don't take this offensively but are you one of the few whites in a poor black or hispanic neighborhood?? Did any kids (which is normal, everyone knows children are cruel, and NO that doesn't make it OK) pick on him because of his race?? Kids either are made or broken in harsh environments depending on how they learn to respond, and very often white supremacy groups go recruiting in those types of neighborhoods to " save" the white kids from being assimilated into other groups. THEY ARE GANGS, just the same as any other kid in that neighborhood might get recruited by gangs because life at home is unstable or because the child feels isolated and needs to feel part of a structured " safe" place where they feel that they can be themselves. My advice is not to just put him down, or " scare " him with prospect that dark people will hurt him because of his confusion ( that will only re-enforce those hateful prejudices people!!!!) but to calmly teach him that he is just as wonderful as all of his human brethren.He should be made to feel pride in his background but also know that others also have that right as well, and that all cultures should be celebrated for the contributions that they have given to the human family. He should be enrolled in after school programs ( sports, music, any academic advancement) where he will have to work with all kinds of children and depend on them to be equal team members to reach a common goal. Get him busy, get him in the real world, teach him to stand up for himself and to love the face that looks back at him in the mirror but also teach him humility and empathy and that it will be his brain , his will, and his HEART that will define him as a man one day. Best Wishes.

Answer 6

14 year olds LOVE to manipulate for a reaction and your kid is doing a fine job of it. He is obviously learning this from somewhere and YOU have control over that. Where did he learn about the nazis and the KKK and who is encouraging this racist behavior. As a parent you need to find out and then stop it. Yes, it is a natural interest but NO you do not tolerate it in your home.

Answer 7

It sounds like that he has begun to hang out with the wrong people. You need to ask him the question.. How would he feel if people were making that type of joke or racist remark about him or his family? And see what type of answer that he gives you. He really needs to see the opposite side of the spectrum and it would really change the way he looks at things. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Answer 8

Children these days, in the 21st century are easily affected from outside influences. If a terrorist attack happens, they think Afghanistans,or another country, is evil...or of some sort. You have to explain to them that not ALL of a racial group are "evil" and only some people are in the act. They should understand that THEy themselves are a certain racial group.

Answer 9

Sometimes children are misguided by the company they keep, weather he has picked this up at home or in school it is your job to find out and put an end to his reckless behavior. I suggest you talk with your children about how they should treat others and love all people regardless of their race. Then follow-up on this with reinforcement from your church, and scripture. If your not involved in one then find one you & your family will be comfortable with.

Answer 10

My first thought was to say to beat his little a s s! But, that wouldn't be productive. Education is the key. Explain to him where those nazi swastikas came from and what is behind it. Try to explain to him that we are all equal, regardless to color. And, maybe find positive, educated black people to talk to him.

Or maybe you could drive him through a ghetto and scare the crap out of him. That could work too.

Answer 11

Do not let this problem get worse nip it in the bud get him counseling right now and you also need to educate him which is the most important key. Educate your son get him into some programs with a good mixed group of people, so he can interact with other races and then he will hopefully understand all people are equal not matter their skin color.