after i thought of baby names..went through the struggle to tell my mom..i had an abortion. my boyfriend didnt want me to have it all of a sudden an told me we will have other chances to have kids but were too young and hes not ready. im 17 hes 18. so i gave him what he wanted so he could be happy but now im the one whos sad. i wish i never did it and i hate myself for it. im just so upset right now..i dont know what to do?
2006-11-24 16:13:08 · 48 answers · asked by KDUB100 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Anytime you post anything about abortion on yahoo answers, you are going to get some very negative feedback and some very nasty comments. This is certainly NOT what you need right now. I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have been there. You will probably continue to feel crappy about it for quite a while and I don't think that anything that everybody tells you is going to make it any better. However, what I will say is that I think that you made the right choice. I read some of your other questions you've asked and I don't think that you were really in a position to bring a child into the world. You are young and you are not in a very stable relationship. You deserve to have a comfortable lifestyle and the chances of you having it at 17 and unmarried are very slim. I am not going to say that having a baby out of wedlock is wrong...but I will tell you that your situation reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. I was 15 when I had my abortion. I went on to have a baby at age 17 and a second one at age 19...all with the same guy. Now...I am 30 years old, the father is a dead beat and lives over a thousand miles away from his children. We were together for a total of 10 years. I thought that we would be together and have babies and live happily ever after...I was VERY WRONG!! And in the long run...my children are the ones that suffered the most. Now...I am 30 years old and life is much different for me. I am remarried to an amazing man. We have been together for 5 years and are expecting our first child together in January. We have never had an argument or even raised our voices to one another. We each had two children when we ogt together, so we have a full house. He is a great father to my children and they adore him. With this current pregnancy...I now know what it truly means to have a child WITH someone. Make sure that when you take that step...you are prepared. With my first two, I was on welfare, the dad hardly ever worked and we were all miserable. Now, I am a stay at home mom, we have a beautiful house with a pool, my car is paid for and our children have everything they want and need. I don't regret my children...but I wish I would have waited until I was older.
Your pain will get better..I promise. In the meantime...hang in there and take care of YOU!
2006-11-24 16:30:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Bless your heart. I don't know what I would have done if I were in your shoes. What's done is done and at this point it really doesn't matter. What's important is that you not put yourself in this situation again. Everything in life is a learning experience. LEARN from this. First thing is first, get on birth control if you've not already done so. If you have trouble remembering to take your pill then talk to your doctor about something more long term such as a shot/implant. You definetly don't want to be back in this position again in the near future, better to wait until the pregnancy is planned next time around and then you won't be faced with heartbreaking decisions. Stand up straight, square your shoulders, hold your head high and start a new day tomorrow ! You're life has just begun again, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.
2006-11-24 16:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I am sorry to hear this. There is nothing you can do now. You are 17...just finish up school, keep being a kid, and don't beat yourself up about this.
Abortion is such a traumatic thing, for you, and the baby of course. What you need to do, is pray and ask God for forgiveness and ask him to take care of your baby. Your baby is better off in their Father's arms now.
Now, do not resent your boyfriend for this. You made the ultimate decision. If you need to, try some couseling for yourself, and if you and your boyfriend are "serious" still after this trauma is over, then try couples' counseling. But this event is no ones' fault, and you can't beat yourself up about this forever.
Never forget, but forgive yourself, because I know God already has.
God bless.
2006-11-24 16:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by the_proms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats done is done - dont let the past ruin your future......learn from your mistake and go on some form of birth control until you are in a committed relationship and a bit older.
Dont look to others to ease your conscience - abortion is a very controversial matter and you probably dont want to hear from the people that are going to beat you down and tell you its wrong.
Whether i agree with it or not does not matter, but what you do in the future does.
I agree that you should seek counselling if you are having a hard time.
2006-11-24 17:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by Boo Boo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart really goes out to you right now. It is my belief that what was done is sin. It's forgivable, but still wrong. Ask God in Heaven to forgive you. Children are a gift from God and It is an honor to have a chance to give life to another. I do have to say that the hardest thing I've done in life is being a father. Now as I look back I can see how much I needed to grow up and I am greatful for all I learned through being a father. I wouldn't trade the rough times for anything.
May I suggest that you endever to make sure that you don't make the same mistake twice. I believe that the child is not lost, but is back with God in Heaven.
2006-11-24 17:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by 1bigpane 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie...I feel for you and I am sorry. You are in mourning and that's ok. As many have said what is done is done. There is some good advise on your answers and a bunch of @-hole answers. Which if it makes you feel better I took joy in reporting them all.
At this point what can you do? Mourn, find a support group and now in life make choices that you can handle. Have protected sex until you are 110% ready to become a mommy.
2006-11-24 16:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by MaryJaneD 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. You are very young and will have a chance to have children when you are older and have your life on track. You have a right to be sad, you are experiencing a great loss but you made the right choice. Please use contraception in the future and do your best at school and career so this lesson will not go to waste. Good luck and love.
2006-11-24 16:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by Charlotte G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U are a human and if u feel guilt for what u have done than maybe there is still a chance for you to do something good from all this. U should donate to pro life groups or groups that counsel young women to know there are other options. u will make yourself sick thinking about other choices u could have made. I really wish u would have asked what u should do on here b4 getting the abortion.
2006-11-24 16:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by pyt_tlc 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need a personal encounter with God, who has grace and love for you. Do you know any ministers who are compassionate, that you can talk to about this?
When I went through it so many years ago.... I was 19 then.... people told me it was "legal" so it was ok. Just because something is legal doesn't make it right, and I think you are suffering because you know in your heart it wasn't the right thing to do. I knew it when I went through it.
You might do a search to find a post-abortion support group in your area if there is one. You are not alone in your regret over this. It's the part the pro-abortion crowd doesn't want to admit.
God Bless you, Honey.
Sue
2006-11-24 16:24:58 · answer #9 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See if you can find a hot line to call. Don't hate yourself it is a hard decision to make and many people have feelings of regret. Talk to your mom about it, maybe she can give you some advice or at least hold you while you cry.
Try to be positive, look forward to a future where you can plan when you become pregnant next time. Be more financially secure, etc...
I wish you luck!
2006-11-24 16:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by Becky R 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋