everytime i feel guilty and i really want to apoligize, i don't. cuz the word never comes out of my mouth. it's just hard. even though i noe that i've done something wrong and i should apoligize. but everytime i noe that i haven't done anything wrong but i was forced to apoligize, i can say it. and when i apoligize without meaning it, i can say it. it's easy. but why is it that only when i really want to apoligize, i can't?
2006-11-24 16:07:13 · 8 answers · asked by Gina L 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Its quite easy to be insincere: that's called lying, and most of us do that to ease along social situations all the time.
However, actually seeing how you have hurt someone else, and taking responsibility for it is much, much harder - its that clause "taking responsibility" that most people avoid.
Try it though, because not doing so is causing you the guilt (which suck in and of itself) but also because the consequences of delivering a sincere apology can be great (i.e people will respect you more, see that you care about thier feelings, etc)
2006-11-24 16:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's not only your fault but how the people around you make you feel. If you've been hard-nosed then people will pressure you to continue that way.
When you really want to apologize, then say, "I know I've been a thorn in people's toes, but I'm not perfect, and I have a hard time giving people the respect they deserve."
And what if you didn't say "sorry"...what if instead you told that person what you are going to do differently the next time something goes "wrong", and to have them remind you if you don't do it.
In the process you could also try to tell the person how they felt when you did wrong to them. That way they know you're trying to feel for them. I'm sure they'll appreciate it if you go about it gently and respectfully.
2006-11-25 02:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by sincere12_26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to admit that you were actually wrong. It's a sting to your pride. I used to be the same way. Just remember that 99.9% of the time, people will respect you more for admitting you're wrong and apologizing *because* most people are afraid to do it.
Try to work with small things first. Dropping dad's laptop in the pool is probably too difficult at first =D Next time you leave your coat on the floor and you're reminded to move it, say "Oops. I'm sorry." like it's no big deal, and it won't be. Or if "I'm sorry" is too hard say "Oops, my bad". Just work with those small things and after a while, "I'm sorry" won't be a problem anymore because you will realize that people are okay with you messing up as long as you are willing to admit it and apologize.
2006-11-25 00:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by Crimson Ananda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
part of the apology is laying yourself down before that person, opening up, and admitting you were wrong. it can be very hard to do, and it's a very humbling experience, but it's important. you need to just forget about all the other things floating around in your head, and concentrate about how sorry you are. using the words "I" and "me" make it more personal, and actually saying the words "do you forgive me?" really do seem to make a difference.
it's easy to say you're sorry when you don't mean it, you're not putting yourself on the line. your stuffing yourself and what you did into your back pocket. a forced apology is about as satisfying as spoilt milk, for the giver and the reciever. when i'm in situations where i need to apologize and i don't want to, i ask for some time to get myself together, so that when i do apologize, it's heartfelt.
2006-11-25 00:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not so hard to say, "I am sorry if what I said or did or did not do offended or hurt anyone because I know how it feels to be hurt by others. Please accept my apology."
If they accept or not, you have done your part to be a human and be a humble person which is something we all have to do and be at times.
2006-11-25 00:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe at the back of your mind you have conflicting thoughts....and therefore find it hard to make an effort to aplogise. I guess you'r a person whose kinda confsued abt making decessions . Maybe it'll take time to get out of this... its not a very weird problem... i guess everyone faces it sumtime in their lives... including myself. I guess if you learn how to take feedback and rejection.... apologiusing and seeing what your mistake is would be easier for you.
2006-11-25 00:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by Darshini A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a proud person and you cant take rejection in case your apology is not accepted
2006-11-25 00:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tander 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you have a pride on your life? try to evaluate yourself be humble...
2006-11-25 00:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by HONEYBEEgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋