I've been married 14yrs.my wife and I are in our early 30's.shes found some younger guy whos 25yrs old on the internet thats already been divorced and she says she loves him.she was up north came back home and I came home to an empty house she just picked up and left.I have given her affection ,never abused her in any way and supported her in every way in life.I am in love with her.should I just give up already?why would your spouse want to hurt you so deep?that guy knows she's married and has 2 kids and tells her he understands and doesnt care if shes married and has 2 kids.is he trust worthy?I'am in dismay.
2006-11-24 14:29:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no he is not trustworthy and I think your wife has made a big mistake. the point is are you willint to wait around for her to realize that fact or are you gonna get your kids and go one with your life. Choice is yours.
2006-11-24 14:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why I'm even answering this question because I am at a loss for why someone would do this sort of thing. Perhaps he has more money? Other than that, she may just be at that time in her life when she needs the excitement of a new relationship. I knew a girl that no matter how good things were for her she needed the excitement of the new relationship over and over again. Sometimes relationships can be great in many ways except for sex. I believe it's not that one or the other person is bad it's just that the sexual chemistry is not there. Also, I've known women who settled in relationships and were always hoping something better would come along. Maybe this guy is just that. I realize that does not help you but dragging her back is probably not good advice either. Lastly, we deserve better than how she has treated you.
2006-11-24 22:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by questioningly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart aches for you !
just move on because it is so hard to forgive that sort of behaviour
you deserve a woman who will treat you how you deserve to be treated
She is not nice because the kids should have been more important than sex etc
never run her down to the kids though because that will be more hurt for them because they love Dad & Mum
you are hurting very bad now & it will take time for you to feel a lot better but for the kids sake you must get happy
take up a sport where you can sweat your stress away so to speak & even help people because that will help you if you help others
don't even think of that guy she will do the same to him one day
so he will suffer
trust me you will get over it in time!! :)
take care
you must have been married at a very young age if you are in your early 30's
only teenagers ??
2006-11-25 01:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he is not a man to trust,and i quite understand how u feel. i asked those same questions, it's not that they chose to hurt us, it's that they are selfish, and don't value us or love us anymore, because someone else has taken our place in their heart. doesn't matter how good we were to our mates, they choose not to remember it when they find someone else. doesn't matter how good we were to them, or how much we love them, we may never know why they left, people rarely can see the truth, they tend to put all of the blame on the betrayed hurt spouse anyway. we love what we thought our marriage was, we sometimes paint a picture perfect image of our spouse, and fail to see the truth, so we keep waiting hoping that they will see the truth. but her perception is different from yours. its all about her and the other man, and the things he is showing her, and the way he is making her feel about herself. kind of like when you first met her and it was all so exciting and new. well as the years pass, we aren't as exciting as we used to be, and the other person enhances their self esteem so they really feel they are in love with the other man. marriage is not the sacred thing it used to be. in the real world every marriage has its problems, and that is what she is excaping from. but little does she know in a year or so it will be the same if not worse with him. you won't be able to get through to her, just let it play out, if u try to stop her all u will get is resentment, she has to find out for herself she has to make her own mistakes, it may not turn out a happy ending. this is not about anything u did or didn't do, it's about her being selfish, and not thinking it out. yes u will be hurt for some time, the love we feel for that person just doesn't die, we can't even will it away. she may realiaze what she has lost in time, and she may not. personally one can never go back atleast i couldn't, knew that my marriage as i knew it was over, and trust could not ever be rebuilt. as i had put him up so high on this pedistole that it completely destroyed any chance of reconciliation. sometimes we do have to move on, because there is no other options. know how badly u hurt, so sorry. hang in there and pray alot. since u have children maybe if she does come home u might make a go of it again. just pray and ask god for what u need and really believe and have faith she is going to come home. give it a little time, don't press her, distance yourself from her, if u press it and force it than it will only force her farther away from u.
2006-11-24 22:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you love her you have to let her go. Its ashame to see her do that to you and especially the kids. Clearly she isnt thinking of anyone but herself and still stuck on her wild side. The other guy is definitely not trustworthy. Just be careful for what is to come because he could end up hurting her in some way and then she will try to come back to you. If you take her back there is no way possible the trust will possibly ever be restored no matter how much you want it to. So my best bet is to just let her go hun. Im sorry
2006-11-24 22:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been married 30yrs and my wife fell in love with a 27yr old kid on the internet, who was also divorced, she did not have to courage to leave me for him, but the damage has been done and the hurt is still there. The why can be to numerous to count, but must be answered some kind of way before you move on. That is the one thing that will eat you up. i am sorry for your hurt. Hang in there, because things will get better.
2006-11-25 00:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by Rodney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she was probably having a affair. And then she liked him and probably went to live with him. You sound like the best husband and I wouldnt leave you for some underhanded JERK! u know your better than the guy and just set aside sometime w/ your wife or ex-wife and talk about it. Maybe you can work things out! But DONT BE THE HUSBAND WHO GOES AND GETS A GIRL TO MAKE HER JEALOUS THATS SO 10 YEARS OLD. gOod luck and you have my concearns! oh and hes not trustworthy but u are
2006-11-24 22:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by no named 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man I'm sorry that this happened to you.. The same damned thing happened to me10 years ago. And now after 20 or30 affairs on her part I can see that i'm a fool... Its up to you brother how much can you take( I finally ended my (joke) marriage after 22 years. it may not be the same . But dont be a dishrag ,if this is true then stand up, and make your life better
2006-11-24 23:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by zedbrzrkr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your in pain but you need to move on seek a divorce and joint custody of the kids she doesn't deserve you or your love sooner or later she will see what a BIG MISTAKE shehas made but it will be to late by then you will have moved on in life the same way he got her he will lose her she will leave him for someone else soon believe in KARMA what comes around goes around
2006-11-24 22:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always wonder about the one who claims to have been loving and caring to the person who up and left them. No person in their right mind would up and leave a spouse who cared about them.
Before I pity you I suggest you look back on your relationship and figure out where you may have gone wrong.
If you honestly feel you were the way you stated above, then she's not in her right mind and you're better off without her.
2006-11-24 22:35:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋