Everybody thinks I am beautiful and skinny, but why can't I see it?

Question

Everybody tells me that I am really pretty/ beautiful, but everytime I look into a mirror all I see is someone that is ugly and fat. I don't listen to what anybody says about how I look because unless I can see that I am beautiful and skinny, then i won't believe it. What can I do to get over my problems with my self image?

Answer 1

This may be a small confidence problem, but in some cases it could be BDD, that is body deposit disorder when you see something totally different than what everyone else sees. If you feel personally that it is that extreme, draw a picture of yourself and show it to a psychologist or trusted adult.

If this problem is not health related, lieing to yourself could work. It sounds ridiculous, but it worked for me. Take a minute or so a day to look in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful, fit, and a good person." The first couple of times, you may get emotional or even laugh, but after some times it actually works.

Another good technique is not concentrating on your looks. Think of you personality-wise and work on that first. Fill up your schedule with activites, if possible, and make sure that you feel like a good person before you deal with your looks. When you feel that you are a good person, your confidence will rise.

The bottom line is, you are growing up, hormones are going crazy, and the media is not helping at all. There is times when you are not going to feel pretty, and it happens to all of us. Try this stuff and see how things go.

Answer 2

My dear confed; you have made the first step! You have admitted that you have a problem and are interested in solving the problem!! You go girl!!! I can honestly and from the heart, say that a good counselor is the best way to start. No one else has to know if you don't want them to, but you really need to see someone. You need to get to the bottom of why you have no self worth. I worry, otherwise sweetie, that you will take extreme measures to make yourself feel some phantom way and do some serious harm to not only your already low self esteem, but something dangerous, like an unwanted pregnancy, or an STD. Many times we look for love in the wrong places. We have to love ourselves first, before we are any good to any body. Using your friends for counseling, won't work either, because you will wear them out with the same old tape over and over again. A professional usually doesn't take all that long, and the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience. Try the school counselor for starters, if he/she is someone you can trust. But please go, Now. Your friends are probably right. You are beautiful, who cares about skinny (oh yeah....those who are so wrapped up in the b.s. outer package) you need to see it for yourself. Good luck to you dear. I wish wonderful things for you. Nana

Answer 3

I am also skinny and I think I am decent. I am just have teen issues right know with the whole puberty thing. Anyway I would say just enjoy who you are and don't worry and stop judging yourself so much because that's what I do and I find myself crying at times. But now I have discovered that it is best to think of your beauty on the inside. If people says that you a beautiful you should use that to help yourself improve your self image. But do not let what people are saying about you go to your head because as I said before (it sounds cheesy) but its whats on the inside that counts because beauty fades, so milk your beauty while you can.

Answer 4

This is difficult.
For one thing, the popular media pushes this image on women. The advertisers want you to think that you are not good, so you will buy their products to try to make yourself better. So maybe decreasing the amount of time you spend doing things like reading teen magazines, watching music videos and other television programs, and watching movies will help.
Also, for a true understanding of your self-worth, it's important to realize that you are a child of God and He loves you. To find out more about that, see www.mormon.org.
I recommend that you talk to your parents about this. They could possibly help you to find an appropriate counselor who can help you work through these issues.
Don't be afraid; this is a very common problem with people today.

Answer 5

Its because you dont like yourself and ur definition of beauty is different. many girls suffer from this and then they grow up and realized there really was nothing to worry about and that they should have revel in it rather than focused on it because it only brings akward moments and brings no good to anyone at all, especially the sufferer.

all the best, you must be pretty but unless you believe it you will still be hung up with it.some ppl never get out of it and its such a waste because you failed to appreciate a good thing..

Answer 6

Well what you have is a begining of a eating disorder. What you should do is write 10 things you love about yourself then when you think those other things bring up good qualities you know you have. If you are still feeling bad talk to a trusted adult or friend.

Answer 7

Because you are afraid of the real you. I had an eating disorder as a young woman and it cost me alot, I now have a loving husband and children and am a chef - life's about change and once you accept that you have control over more than yourself you will become a much happier person.

Answer 8

i think you are pretty but u just have a low self esteem... mabye u should just belive what they say .. yr low self esteem is bringing u down~dats bad in the long run

Answer 9

what you're doing is seeing what is wrong with you, not what is so good about you. you need to make a list of all the non-physical features that you like about you. and then, try to see yourself how others see you. like try, say if you think your waist is too big, then just work out that area and try to feel confident.

I'm sure that people see what's inside of you and that is what they see on the outside. it's because of who you are.
God bless!

Answer 10

hot confederate babe huh?
what happened to ugly and fat?
get a life..