recently, i told all of my friends that i was gay and they were all cool with it. So now i want to tell my parents and family members but idk how to. I mean, my cousin knows, my sister knows, and all my friends know. But i wanna tell my parents, any advice?
2006-11-24 13:46:30 · 11 answers · asked by zac !! 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
mayb i should mention,
that i do have gay family members
also, me and my mother had a conversation about us having an "open relationship" would this help at all with coming out to them?
2006-11-24 13:54:53 · update #1
Assuming you have a good dialogue with your parents, then prepare before hand what it is you want them to know. Be prepared for the questions, and they will sometimes be off the wall or bizarre.
Chances are they may have an inkling that something has been weighing on your mind, and may have considered the possibility. Understand that when you come out that a part of their life long ideal will disappear for them, so they may feel some grief for that, try to be sympathetic to their feelings too.
If there is an angry reaction, or serious melt down, step away from it. don't let anything escalate. You've had a lifetime to come to this point, they've only had a few hours to deal with it.
Avoid the graphic details. Straight kids don't discuss their sex life, and gay kids should avoid telling who does what to who. Avoid who is the man who is the woman stuff. Keep any explanation, simple and PG.
Reassure them that you know about safer sex practices and you are careful.
Remember even a negative reaction comes from a place in them based in love for you, it may be misplaced direction. Allow them to stumble, they are human. Forgive anything said in the heat of the moment.
Reassure them that they did nothing wrong. Tell them you are happy to be out of closet, to no longer have the burden of concealing the truth from them.
Follow up. don't just tell them as if you just had bought a new car. this BIG, very big to them. Treat it that way. Coming out to them takes following up, see if they have any questions, concerns. Introduce them to your friends if possible when you feel your parents are ready.
Love them as they have loved you; especially if they don't take it well. They will always be your family, try to patient.
Good luck
2006-11-24 14:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by imaginary friend 5 · 10⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like they'd be pretty willing to accept you, and the scary part is just doing the actual telling.
Remember that they're your family, and they'll love you no matter what. If you don't feel comfortable telling them face-to-face, you might try a phone call, or the internet, or a letter. Practice in a mirror until you have a speech down, or tell one family member at a time. You could even practice on the family pet, or something.
Or you could just show up at Christmas wearing a Gay Pride shirt and let them draw their own conclusions.
good luck!
2006-11-24 14:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by Asuza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do this. And I'm assuming you want to tell them because you (a) have a good and close relationship to them and (b) you want to be honest with them about who you are. Do you still live with them? If so, that may make it a little harder, especially if you're not sure how they will react. Hmm. How does your family normally handle broaching "heavy" topics of conversation? Do you sit down at a table? Take a walk somewhere? My best advice is that how ever and wherever and whenever you decide to tell them, just be yourself and be honest. And if you're feeling vulnerable, don't be afraid to show that to them. If they love you, they will be gentle in their response. But be ready for the possibility that they may seem a little shocked at first.
2006-11-24 14:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by FL LMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were the last people I came out to, too, and it wasn't because I was ashamed or scared, or even worried that they'd react badly, it's just such an awkward subject to bring up in conversation! I'd been out at school for years, and it was only when I had a serious boyfriend, at 17, and I introduced him to my parents, and then my mum told me that she was pretty sure we weren't just 'friends'. Turned out they'd guessed years earlier, and were just waiting for me to bring it up.
So, I can't really advise on a good way, but I would suggest dropping hints first, and if your sister knows get her to do the same, so hopefully when it does happen it won't be a shock. (My parents were fine with it.)
2006-11-24 13:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have gay family members, then your parents should have been exposed to this topic before. I would sit down both of your parents when you tell them, and have your sister there for support. You might have to explain to them that this is just who you are. Hope it goes well ^_^
2006-11-24 14:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by Okamoto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose a quiet moment. Perhaps talk to one before the other if that is easier. Be brief. be clear. Say what you need and be quiet. Give them time to process. Be prepared for their response. Have your support team ready to hear how it went and to help you if necessary. Invite them to think about PFLAG. In fact, maybe give them some literature on it if that would help them. And remember, you are their son and they love you. Be gay. Be proud. Be free. Be happy.
2006-11-24 14:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is something personal, when we are heterosexual we dont go announcing it, whats the big deal about being homosexual? Its your private sex life. What makes you happy is important. Let them find out, then you can declare. There is nothing wrong in being gay. Its your sex life and you are happy with it.
2006-11-24 13:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand the compulsion to tell them...they do not discuss their sex life with you, why do you feel compelled to tell them about yours?
But if you insist, while at the dinner table, tell everyone you have been diagnosed with cancer, have 3 months to live....a deadly silence will fall over the room...then say, "I was kidding, I am not dying, I am just gay. " That should do it up just fine. If they say, "I'd rather you had cancer," you will know the lay of the land. If they sigh in relief, then the telling is done and you can go on with your life.
2006-11-24 15:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
have your sister help you if she is ok with it have her be there for moral support. and then just be hoinest with them about who you are.
2006-11-24 14:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you live at home and rely on them for support i wouldn't unless they are always very supportive of you
2006-11-24 13:51:18 · answer #10 · answered by Ron N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋