What are some questions one should consider before marriage?

Question

...or even people who are currently married?

Answer 1

A pre-marriage counselor had me and my husband sit down and write down the two things we would change about eachother if we could. Now, this guy had us do this while in the same room as eachother, so we were afraid to say anything serious... But it is a good idea, if done apart. say what you would change about the other, or pet peeves, and decide whether or not you can really live with it. Talk to people that have similar issues and see how big a deal it is... Example--- My husband smokes, and did when we were dating. I thought it wouldn't be that big a deal, because he swore he'd quit when we had kids. But, now, two kids later, he still smokes about a pack a day. What's worse, me and the kids are asthmatic. He smokes outside, but that sucks, too, because he spends half his non-working time outside with his cigarettes instead of with his kids or me. Grr... Plus, we are broke, and I can't have anything nice, but he can spend $3 a day on cigarettes? No one should get married. Boys suck...

Answer 2

Before my ex hubby and I got married our pastor sat us down and gave us a pre-marital questionnaire. We did really well - except for one question: it was something like, "how much alone time do you need?" He said he liked a lot of alone time, I was all for together-time. We laughed it off, haha, thought nothing of it.

A year later, I found out what he meant in that questionnaire - it meant leave me the f alone, can't you see I'm reading, no I have a headache, I just took the garbage out 3 days ago, etc. Get my drift? Pay CLOSE attention to your partner's answers. And anything you think they will change once you're married - it's bullsh*t. People don't change once they're married - those little things become 100 times worse.

Good luck.

Answer 3

EVERYTHING. You need to discuss things that you wouldn't think to discuss. children and where you want to live are easy. What if either of you change jobs-are you willing to move? How often do you want to have sex? What about after children are born? Who is going to be responsible for what in the house and in the marriage? What does marriage mean to both of you? Will you both still hang out with friends after you are married? How often? How important is money? Who decides how you spend it? What do you spend it on? How important is family? What if one of you becomes unemployed? What if (God forbid) one of your children is sick? How do you handle the stress of that?

It's not very romantic is it? I think that if more couples asked these kinds of questions before they got married and continued talking about them after they got married that the divorce rate would not be over 50%. This is not everything that you should ask, but these are the kinds of questions that you should be asking. There is NO WAY to know how things are going to turn out in your life, but if you are asking these kinds of questions you have an idea about what your marriage might look like and get a better idea about who your potential spouse is?

Oh yeah. I just thought of another really good one. Think about the things that you don't like about your potential spouse and ask yourself if you can live with those flaws for the next 40 years and ask your potential spouse to ask the same of themselves.

Answer 4

Questions for yourself if considering marriage:

- Why?

- What are you looking for out of marriage?

- What is important to you in a person?

- What things about a person are absolute turn-offs and show-stoppers (things you couldn't live with if found in your mate)?

- Do you want kids, if so how many?

- If your mate were ever unfaithable for did something seemingly unforgiveable, could you forgive them?

Answer all of the questions above, then...

... have your would-be mate answer the same questions themselves, and share the answers with each other!

Good luck!

Answer 5

what is their track record, do u really know their past? are they reliable, how do they behave when in a crisis, how do they solve problems? do they have a good work record? do they want kids? are they controlling? have they ever cheated on u? do they have your best interest at heart? are they needy, always in trouble, are there always problems with them that u have to solve. are there any ex wives with kids, any unresolved relationships they were in where they still haven't forgiven the former person. are they generous, or stingy with their money. do they have any mental problems that u are sure u can fix with your love? do they force u to do things u don't want to do? are their stepchildren who resent u, and there are problems with now, cause thye will never go away. do they love you falts and all, or are they constantly full of critisism of you. how do they make u feel about yourself when u are with them.do u know for sure u can trust them completely with your heart.

Answer 6

Are you emotionally and financially prepared for the responsibilities of marriage?

Have you known this person as in dating for 18 to 24 months minimum?

Do you have more things in common than different?

Have you been totally honest with regards to debt or personal problems?

Are you religiously compatible and in agreement on what religion children will be raised?

Answer 7

Do you want to have children? How many?

If you and your spouse are of differing religions, can you respect each others' differences, or will one "have to" convert? Can they do so without resentment? What religion will the children be raised as?

How do you fight? Do you yell and scream and throw things, or do you talk about things without the melodrama? Are your fighting styles compatible? Or will one person start yelling and the other person retreats, so nothing ever gets resolved?

Are you sexually compatible? If there is something you like but your partner doesn't, are you willing to compromise on it? Same goes vice-versa - if your partner likes something but you don't, are you willing to compromise on it?

Answer 8

Questions men should ask women:

1) do you REALLY like sex or will it stop six months after we are married?
2) are you going to gain 50 pounds a year?
3) are you going to expect every damn day to be your wedding day?
4) are you going to expect romance every day?
5) do you really think men can read your thoughts?
6) are you going to nag and bit*h 24/7?
7) are you going to tell me you cheated or will I have to find out from your friends?
8) are you expecting candles at dinner any time other than when the power is out?
9) do you REALLY think men like line dancing?
10) would you reconsider getting married??

Answer 9

Compatibility ... similar likes/dislikes (my son's g/f complains because son likes to watch cartoons). Trustworthiness. Honesty. Willingness to communicate. Views on children and child rearing. Goals. Temperament. Finances. Sexuality. Mutual respect.

Answer 10

Even if for one second before marriage you ever think "If this doesn't work out I can just get a divorce" DON'T DO IT!!!!!!