i know a good friend... well it all happened so fast.. i went over to his house and he started huging me.. i didn't like it at first, but he said it was just a hug.. so i went with it.. soon after.. he started kissing me and reaching down my pants.. i'm not gay.. am i? i do love my present girlfriend but this guy comes along and spoils it all... HELP!!
2006-11-24 13:43:35 · 19 answers · asked by James 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
YOU'RE not gay unless you enjoyed it, invited it, or want to do it again (and even then you could be bi or just curious).
Pretty sure your 'friend' is, though.
2006-11-24 13:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, what you have to realize is that there are different types of homosexuality. Some people are born who are only interested in their own gender, just like many people are born who are only interested in the opposite. And then there are people who choose to love people of either gender.
I personally would rather love a person than their gender, so I'm technically bisexual, but to help you, do the following:
I want you to think about what happened. Calm down, have a cup of tea or something, relax and try to look at it logically. There is nothing wrong with being gay or bi. Let me say it again:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY OR BI.
Say it out loud until you believe it. Go on, do it. Even if you're not.
Now, I want you to look back. Pretend for a while that this person was female. How would you have reacted if it was a girl instead of a boy? You'd probably be here going "uh, did I cheat on my GF?"
I want you to think about what happened. Are you attracted to this male as a male? Were you excited by what he was doing, or did it bore you/make you feel uneasy and ill? You have to analyze your feelings. Nobody can tell you if you're gay. If you liked what he did, and would be willing to try it again (with someone you loved, or whatever), then you may be interested in other men. That doesn't make you exclusively gay, or mean that you don't love your girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to members of your own sex.
This may be kind of hard, but I want you to try the following exercise. Next time you masturbate, I want you to picture the most female image you can - totally curvy, really long hair, pouty lips, whatever gets you off. I want you to very slowly take away some of the feminine aspects - make her breasts gradually smaller, shorten the hair, etc. etc. If you can imagine a male and still be aroused, then chances are yes, you are attracted to other men. If you're still attracted to women, then you're probably bisexual. There's nothing wrong with that, I swear. In fact most chicks dig bi guys, just like a lot of guys think two girls kissing is really hot.
For another test, you could read/watch some (I recommend softcore in case it upsets you) p orn (just DL it off the 'net, that's what it's for) and see if you find it arousing. If you can look at two guys kissing and go "....damn, that's hot" you're probably interested in males.
Remember this:
Being interested in males does not make you gay.
It's okay if you -are- gay or bi or bicurious or whatever.
Just because your body reacts to something does not necessarily mean you're really into it. I mean, seriously, if somebody reaches into your pants and grabs your lil man, is your lil man going to care if it's a girl-hand or a boy-hand? No! He's going to be all "W00T I'M GETTIN' STROKED" because your pleasure centers don't distinguish between males and females. Your body will feel what it will feel, no matter who it is.
But if you can picture yourself kissing that guy again, and you like the idea - not of just plain sexual interaction, but of romance or something - then you might be gay or bi.
And please, please don't be frightened! I know it's hard, and scary, and confusing, and that some people won't understand, but do you really want to lie to yourself about who you are for the rest of your life just because you're scared?
It really is okay if you're gay. I hope you figure this out and stuffs!! <3<3<# Good luck!
2006-11-24 21:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Asuza 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so you see - it feels good to be kissed by a guy - and why not????? what could be nicer than a cute young guy kissing you and fondling you??? you should be HAPPY for this event.
He likes you - isn't that good? He gave you something to think about. Was it not enjoyable?? Huh????
how I wish I could trade places with you. You lucky guy.
he reacted like any red-blooded guy to your face and body.
he's only human. - You know. These are the best years of your life. so enjoy all you can get - from wherever.
Stay his friend and enjoy his company and see what develops.
With every good wish.
2006-11-24 22:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by blackbird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me as if you are just young, not gay...many..if not most..guys who are young experience mutual JO, and other things. It means nothing, stop worrying about it, get on with your life. Good luck. A man on man experience does not make anyone gay. You are either born that way or you are not. Most men will do about anything if the timing is right and they are horny...big deal.
2006-11-24 23:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you like your friend reaching down your pants? If so you could be a little bi curious. Nothing to be afraif of at all. Try a little more and see what you think
2006-11-25 00:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Almost all men and women are bisexual to one degree or another. Your problem is not that you enjoy physical contact with other men, but that you have a gf that you need to be faithful to no matter who the other partner might possibly be.
2006-11-24 21:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is true, he wasn't right in forcing you. Of course it would feel good since it's sex, but you're only gay if you wanted it before you got there.
2006-11-24 22:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by Okamoto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you like it?
a better question, do you HONESTLY love him?
if you really do like him, then yes, you are gay.
DO NOT be ashamed.
as a girl, i wouldn't know what its like to be gay, but i do know gay actors/gay acting on movies
and i don't make fun of it.
please don't be afraid to be gay
if you are embarassed, then you are embarassed of YOURSELF and your selfpotential is gone low.
don't let that happen.
if you are gay, then you are gay. and i don't see any difference between straight, gay, lesbian, or whatever.
they are all different in their own ways and should not be made fun of.
and anyway, you'll stand out =]
love can't be blocked.
2006-11-24 22:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by moi<3 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I dont know. Do you like what he is doing to you?? Could you see yourself having sex with a man? Would you like to give ir recieve? These are things you need to consider.
2006-11-24 21:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you didn't like it or return the advance then i would say no. but it may have made you start thinking. as for your friend i don't think he was much of a friend to force his affections or lust upon you
2006-11-24 21:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by Ron N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋