Did you ever think there was something wrong with being gay- genuine question?

Question

I thought that it was only the older generations who had problems accepting that they were gay and didn't realise it was any different till I was about 16 and met some people with some major issues. I know, very naive, but I had a really homophobic religious upbringing and I guess assumed that most people didn't take whatever they were exposed to as a kid on board either. Most of my gay friends didn't feel there was anything wrong with them either. So I'm wondering how common it is in a country like Australia, America, UK, Cananda etc for people to have these kind of problems. Is there a difference between countries? Is it mostly only people who've grown up in an anti-gay environment? Did you think there was something wrong with you?

To clarify my question is did you have trouble accepting you are gay

Answer 1

My parents are both shrinks and also taught human sexuality at a local community college and also at a University of California campus. I grew up knowing transexuals, lesbians, gay men, cross-dressers, etc. and all of it was sort of the norm for us - my parents totally accepted all lifestyles - and yet... when I met my girlfriend more than 11 years ago, my mom could barely take it - thought it was a phase, etc. She really struggled with it, but it was her struggle, not mine. I tend not to label myself - society does it enough. I guess my point is that even where people aren't homophobic and are very educated, it's a different thing when it hits home. My mom is fine with my girlfriend now - we've been together 11 years, but it takes time. In the USA it sort of depends on where you live - I grew up in So. Cal - most people are okay with it there - live in Texas now - a bit more closeted for the sake of my 14 year old daughter. I got back from Hawaii yesterday and people were very cool with it there - depends on where you are within a state, country, city, etc. I don't feel anything is wrong with me - and I don't think God will punish me for loving another human being, regardless of her gender. Just my 2 cents...

Answer 2

No, I always felt that for me it was completely natural and normal, but maybe it's because I grew up in a caring and tolerant environment, so I was never exposed to anti-gay ideas until later.
The only thing I've had problems accepting is other people's reactions and strange ideas about it.
I live in the UK, by the way, but I'm not sure how much that has to do with it - I knew people at school who had a lot of problems accepting their sexuality, because of parents or religious backgrounds. I'm guessing that family might have more to do with how easy it is than anything else, but that might not be true for everyone.

Answer 3

I think it is more common among older generations to believe it is wrong and thats because it was more forbidden then because LESS people were out of the closet. What they dont realize is that there was still just as many gay people then as there is now. Anyway Im not gay but I'd like to admit that I USE to have a problem with others being gay UNTIL I grew up and realized it as NOT being a bad and/or a wrong thing but different. Sorry I know this question was for gay people...I just wanted to answer :)

Answer 4

Yes, when there are no positive messages from your family, your friends, your school, your church, the media....yeah, it makes it pretty difficult to feel OK as a teen-ager about being gay. And that's one of the big struggles in the United States. Those of us who are adults are trying to provide positive role models, so that children who may think they're gay can see that your life can be beautiful and not always end in a gay-bashing, bitter, lonely,depressing heap of nothingness (pretty much the only picture presented to many of us while growing up). Those on the far-right who hate gays and would rather see us all killed don't want that image out there; hence much of the hubabaloo over things like cartoon characters traveling to meet a lesbian couple in Vermont. It's really sad, but I don't think the U.S. is the only place with a strong societal backlash against gays. All I can say is if you can get through the already difficult teen-age years in one piece, then you're likely to be better off as an adult!

Answer 5

I was watching the National Geographic Channel last night and they had a special on Twins and the genetic development after the egg is fertilized. They said that being gay has something to do with the development in the womb. Why can't people understand that homosexuality is not a choice and it is the way gay people are born.... It is no different than someone being born left handed... Do you hate left handed people? Or Do you hate people that have a bithdefect? Or do you hate people with a birth mark on their body? If so then you have serious problems. You need to go see a physic!

Answer 6

I grew up in a conservative family in a conservative area of the US. Gay people were usually not talked about, and when they were, they were compared to child molesters and called sex fiends who couldn't be monogamous. From puberty and through college I found myself attracted to guys, but thought it was a phase. Since I wanted a relationship instead of just sex, I thought I couldn't be gay; and since I had absolutely no desire to molest kids, I thought I couldn't be gay.

As I met gay people after college, I realized that gay people were not all the bad things I had been told growing up, and I realized that my feelings were more than a phase.

I never felt there was something wrong with me because I didn't label myself as gay for a long time, and when I realized that there isn't anything wrong with being gay is when I was able to come to terms with my sexual attraction and come out.

Answer 7

Like I said in an earlier post. I was married to a guy, had two great kids, and then went through a very nasty divorce. Many things happened in my marriage that made me decide that I never wanted to be in a relationship ever again! (abuse) Then I met my best friend and sole mate. It is not all about the SEX! It is about the caring and loving friendship that we share. She has shown me what love and passion are really about. Yeah I still could enjoy sex with a guy, but we share so much more love, compassion, and romance! Most women are just one kiss away from being a Lesbian!

Answer 8

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay....people are the same and deserve to be treated equal no matter what race, gender etc....the big question I think so called 'anti-gay' people should ask themselves is why they believe gay people should be condemned....doesn't God teach us to love thy neighbour?

This is a good question by the way...living in Fiji, this is a big problem also (people being anti-gay) purely because it is such a big Christian nation. I am heterosexual but do a lot of lobbying for the rights of gay people here because I am very big on Human rights...I have seen too many of my gay friends being hurt physically...abused in the streets...I have even been with a gay friend when someone has come up and spat in their face in the middle of town....it's really sad because gay people really just want to be left alone to live life as they please and they should be allowed to as we are all equal....

Peace!!!

Answer 9

Hi! I am a Roman Catholic who comes from a Catholic family in a strictly Cathoolic community. And I mean strictly - I live in rural Newfoundland, Canada and there are only about 500 people in my community. All are Roman Catholic, but of course, not all go to Church, follow the so-called rules, etc. I on the other hand am a proud Catholic and a lesbian. I had no trouble accepting who I am and neither did my family. I chalk it uo to the fact that my parents always taught me that what it means to be a Catholic is to love everyone no matter who they are, what they do, what they believe, etc. They told me that Jesus calls all his followers to love one another. They would never tolerate and form of racism, sexism, or homophobia. Catholics get a bad name on here a lot, and many times rightfully so. But this note is not just for you, but for others who read this answer too - don't paint us all with the one brush. To go back to your question again, I had no trouble accepting the fact that I am a gay woman because I truly believe that God made me as I am. God does not make mistakes.

Answer 10

Wow, see, I had it really easy. My parents were always really cool about it, and when I was thirteen or so and realized I was in love with a girl and told my mom I was a lesbian, all she told me was "it's a phase, you'll grow out of it."

I haven't, of course, but then again I'm not genetically homosexual. I know there are people who are born being totally physically attracted to their own gender, but for me it's more a matter of "I want to love a person, not their genitalia". I never felt like there was something bad or shameful about it.

For a lot of people it is what they have been raised to believe. If you're told all your life that _____ is wrong and evil, then even if you realize something different later, it's often hard to change all that conditioning.