She left me but, has had seconds thoughts. I really truly love her. When I am nice she acts like she has the power but when I ignore her she calls and cries that she wants me back. what kind of game is this and can it be won? Ladies answers greatly appreciated.
2006-11-24 12:20:43 · 21 answers · asked by Johnboy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have had plenty of male friends who have been through this before. Before the two of you call it quits you should have a nice dinner (preferably at home becuase it might get emotional) to just talk...tell her that you just want to start over. Pretend this dinner is your first date, use it as a way to rekindle what you had and find out why you guys decided to get married. Also explain the way you feel and encourage her to do the same.
2006-11-24 12:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by teeny tiny KT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a matter of who is going to win. But I do think it's an opportunity to really show your love for your wife without worrying about winning. That's the key to a good marriage. You give 100%; she gives 100%. No meeting in the middle. Let her know just how much you would give for a second opportunity. When she feels secure, she will be able to trust you with her feelings. She is simply protecting herself. Maybe you two should look into professional counseling if you're serious and get some good insight. Godloveya for trying.
2006-11-24 12:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cool it for a while let her cry that she wants you back but refuse to take her back, tell her you love her and you want to be with her but you treat her respectfully and in a loving way and she throws it back in your face so you are not prepared to take it any more, either she wants you or she doesn't and if she walks away again then that is it.Don't on any terms go straight back to her tell her you need to think about what you want, women hate this, make her feel like your making the decision on what happens next, then after a couple of weeks when she rings for the 20th time tell her you love her deeply, that she is the one for you but that if she walks away again then thats it, if she really wants you then that will be that and good luck to you, but if she messes about again you have your answer, wether you love her or not shes not worth it, you will always be worrying about where she is, what she is up to etc so end it and find someone who is as nice as you sound and have a good life like you deserve.
hope this helps
2006-11-24 12:34:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have a marriage when there are games being played...love is important but you need a lot more than that to have a good relationship.
You need to both sit down and seriously ask yourselves if you want to be married and what you're both willing to do to make the marriage work.
The first thing you should both do is get some marriage counseling.....otherwise I don't think you have a chance.
2006-11-24 12:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want your marriage to work, I'd suggest marriage counseling or @ least some sefl-help books. Try "The Five Love Languages" it will help the two of you break the patterns you don't like and institute ones that are more healthy and beneficial to a happy and lasting marriage. Good Luck!
2006-11-24 12:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by lucy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe its time to be honest with one another, tell her what you really feel, and see what you can do with a sit down and talk it out. Find out why she left in the first place. Maybe you need to see a marriage counselor. You definitely both have issues that need to be addressed. There is no way anything is going to be resolved without addressing it.
2006-11-24 12:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you ignore her? It sounds like a control that you want to have over her to watch her reactions. Your games need to stop if you want this to work. You are going to lose her for good unless you are willing to change. That's a horrible way to treat another human being.
2006-11-24 12:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she left you and if gone for more then 6 months its over weather she comes back or not.
True she could come back but it will be a test more then likely to see if you changed your ways. Even Then it will never be the same because your not being yourself but, someone that she wants you to be.
2006-11-24 12:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Support Our Troops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Johnboy you wanted a lady to respond but please allow this old goose to respond to you. Have you every heard of manipulation?
That is what is happening to you and you yes dude you have to put a stop to it. You have to put your foot down and decide what you want. If you dont want to do something because you are not ready then no amount of persuasion should make you change that stand. Be man enough. And this does not mean violence!
Good luck
2006-11-24 12:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seek counselling to address her power issues ... her behaviour is destructive and manipulative .... chances are, her parents operate the same way ... nip this in the bud or start saving for your divorce or stress rehab.
2006-11-24 12:27:44 · answer #10 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋