How do you like my poem? Titled: Standing There?

Question

Standing there,
Side by side,
With my friend,
Who is the tide.

When she comes in,
And tickles my toes,
I look down at her,
With a smile that lows.

As we look up,
And see the birds glide,
My friend gets noisy,
As they fly over my side.

Just as the sun sets,
And the cool breeze blows,
I say goodbye,
Just as she goes.

For I am a tree,
And she is the sea,
And all I am doing,
Is standing there.

© Kimberly Mccarty 2004

I wrote it back in seventh grade for a contest.

Answer 1

It's decent, just slightly elementary and trying a little too hard to rhyme.

Answer 2

wow..pretty cool..though it IS a little bit elementary-like, it's still great! I could 'feel' the poem, if u know what i mean. And i could imagine the scenes. You did a good job in describing them.

Continue making more peoms. God bless!

:)

Answer 3

It's very formulalistic. Did you get a good grade? The teacher's hand shows.

Answer 4

Did you win the contest?

Answer 5

i like it, it makes you wonder, as your reading it, what is coming next, what the story is, also it describes the scene in a way i could really see it!

Answer 6

i like it. it has a certain...i don't know what to call it, where it takes you back in time, to when you were younger, and you can really see the imagery in your poem. good job!

Answer 7

nice images...ying/yang...good effort for a middle school student

Answer 8

It is good to be read

Answer 9

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