my poem?I wrote this last year for a Poetry Slam at my school, and thought I'd get some reviews on it! What do you think?
Lights go out
it's time to start
I look at you,
a work of art.
Perfect smile
flawless skin,
translucent strings
to move your chin.
Do you dance,
sing your song.
The crowd is there,
to cheer you on.
Now move a little,
more towards me.
You say your lines,
so perfectly.
One more trick,
the crowd applauds.
Turn to them,
and give a nod.
Curtains fall
I take a swallow,
You're still cold,
and fake, and hollow.
You're nothing more
than a wooden doll.
No feelings, sense,
or love at all.
The best puppet I've ever seen.
I only wish I could cut your strings.
2006-11-24 09:12:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
As a representative of SVAP (Stop Violence Against Puppets) I would like to express our outrage at such a poem as this being displayed. Describing them as 'fake and hollow' and 'cold' brings a tear to our eyes when all these wonderful creations want to do is entertain us. Think about that the next time you feel you want to 'cut their strings....'
Yes I'm kidding, your poem is nice, I liked it :)
2006-11-24 09:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by darkness_returns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it I give it a 9/10
2006-11-24 17:14:26 · answer #2 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you got some animosity built up huh? Good poem, Keep writing.
2006-11-24 17:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lil Sexy Biker Chic 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No offence, but I see a lot of 'suck-up' answers. For me, it was creative and good, but not great. Personally, I'd give it a 7.5 out of 10 and a 5 out of 10 if it was published. But 7.5, because it was written sort of for a fun competition.
2006-11-25 02:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Very inventive, curious and odd in a way. I write myself and I am impressed. I do wonder just what provoked this poem?
2006-11-24 17:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by sideways 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hey! this was really great. I think you should write more poems like this and publish them. You can get a lot of money for them.
2006-11-24 17:50:36 · answer #6 · answered by addicted2jesus_c 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Loved it....and I write poetry...good job!
2006-11-24 17:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW. That was an amizing poem. I really liked it alot.
2006-11-24 17:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by *Music ♥ Love* 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Omg I love it, its so beautiful. Wonderful job.
2006-11-24 17:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Brittney 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I LOVE it!!!!!! Its Fan-tastic
it kind of tells a wonderful storie.
u got talent, continue like that^-^
2006-11-24 17:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋