Do you like my poem?

Question

I wrote this last year for a Poetry Slam at my school, and thought I'd get some reviews on it! What do you think?

Lights go out
it's time to start
I look at you,
a work of art.

Perfect smile
flawless skin,
translucent strings
to move your chin.

Do you dance,
sing your song.
The crowd is there,
to cheer you on.

Now move a little,
more towards me.
You say your lines,
so perfectly.

One more trick,
the crowd applauds.
Turn to them,
and give a nod.

Curtains fall
I take a swallow,
You're still cold,
and fake, and hollow.

You're nothing more
than a wooden doll.
No feelings, sense,
or love at all.

The best puppet I've ever seen.
I only wish I could cut your strings.

Answer 1

Very deep! A situation everyone has experienced, and well worded. Bravo!

Answer 2

It's all graphics. Even the strings. The poetry is awesome. A technique to add to your arsenal. The only way that I could affect your writing is if I judged it. All I can say is to keep it, do not abort it. It is your baby alone. Nothing to be ashamed of. You haven't hurt anyone, that you know of anyway.

Answer 3

Nice.

Answer 4

I love it! You communicate some very strong emotions.

Answer 5

WOW! That rocked. You have great vision of others. I hope you will use that to your advantage.

Answer 6

well...... i do like you poem it has a meaning behind it and i makes you think a little good job

Answer 7

I like your poem. I think it's very good.

Answer 8

Yes :) Great poem!

Answer 9

yes i like it

Answer 10

interesting