What's the compromise for a husband going out with old friends while his wife and newborn son stay home?

Answer 1

I have the same problem right now!!! My baby is 5 months old and my fiance is still set in his old ways! Why?? I don't know but he thinks he can go to work, go out for coffee, go skiddooing, and fix his cars....I NEVER get to do anything that I want to do and when I do I got to Walmart to get groceries and things that we need and even then I rush home because I think he needs help or she may be grouchy..In a way I blame us as mothers for having that motherly instinct of always needing to be by our babies but the excuses for men to go about life like nothing has changed is beyond me....I fight/yell and tell him that I need time to myself but it never seems to get me anywhere..Its okay for him to sleep when she cries but ME..I cant just let her cry because I know she needs something and he is too lazy to budge...Its frusterating having to be taken 24/7 and never having time for ourselves...I would go out with friends if he would just watch her and if I know deep down that he will look after her every need but I dont think I have that trust!!!! It began day 1 after baby is born like this and has ever since continued..He watches me look after her but then pretends to not know what he is doing..NOTHING else makes me more mad...I dont know what to tell you because there is some very dedicated dads out there..just not mine! Remember though that your baby will remember everything that you did for it and is going to always look at you for any kind of support he/she may need and you will be proud knowing you taught that kid everything that he/she knows!! Just think of it as a present waiting for you when your baby grows up..Hope this helps hun

Answer 2

He is both right and wrong. He does work hard and comes home to rest, BUT at the moment you have a new baby that is care intensive now, plus all your usual chores. If he was sensitive, he would offer to help. A lot of guys just don't understand how tiring raising kids and keeping a house clean (especially keeping it clean with the kids in it). He's probably not intentionally being mean. Maybe if you asked him to help with just one thing for now, maybe "honey, could you please get the breakfast and your lunch ready in the morning, while I nurse the baby?" or some other such thing. Even helping out in little things can diffuse the stress you can feel. I am a full-time worker out of the home, but I still go home and do the laundry and tidy the house and wash the kids, etc, but not ALL the time. I'm blessed to have a man who doesn't mind helping me out here and there, but I need to tell him or he won't think of it e.g. I've put the clothes in the machine, please hang them when they're done because I'll be at work (I'm a shift worker). Yes, he also works, but has more flexible hours than me. You know, whenever I start to get upset with him for not helping, I think of the ladies in some places who are working in the field while having a baby strapped to their back (don't know if it will work for you on such little sleep). Finally, if he's the money-maker, ask him to hire help or get some more gadgets that help you out, maybe a baby-sitter once a week so you can have an evening out. It can be really frustrating and tiring doing all of the stuff you do and not have time to yourself or time for a date with your beloved.

Answer 3

Wife goes out with friends at another time while Dad stays home with the baby! So important for wife to get alone time or time with friends as well, especially if there is a new baby at home :)

Congrats on the baby!

Answer 4

that he must die..lol, you both made the sacrifice of your time by having a baby. If you have no time for yourself, and he makes time for himself he is selfish. People can have friends at work by being a buddy, but when he is at home he is a husband and father not a single man. My husband has friends at work, and once our second child came it clicked in his head that this wasn't working, he can't manage friends while maintaining his relationship with me. He only talks with his friends at work, that should be good enough. I talk with my husband, and we have two children together, we are the best of friends so we don't need other people, except at work. Tell your husband it's either the buddies or you and his baby? Tell him he has to choose.

Answer 5

There is no compromise. Looking after the child is your job, and if your husband wants to go out rather than be with the two of you - well, that's the guy you chose!

Answer 6

Or the husband does ALL the cooking and house cleaning for the entire weekend - so Mommy of the newborn can actually catch up on much needed rest..

Answer 7

Allow Mom some time to herself, or to enjoy a night out with her friends. Although I must say, I longed for a child for so long that when I finally was blessed with a baby (I was 33) -all the play was out of me. All I wanted was to spend time with my child. There were few times she left my side. In fact, I was glad when her Dad would leave...I was very selfish when it came to her. Additionally, when I had singing gigs, or studio time - she would go with me. She loved the music - and was always attentive...never cried. People could not believe a baby was in the studio. She was a natural.

Answer 8

I never did get the answer to this... I breastfed my daughter so I couldnt easily leave her. I went to the movies ONCE and literally raced back to the house as it was a full 3hrs I was gone, while my husband pretty much went out every weekend and sometimes didnt even come home. Caused HUGE amt of problems for our relationship as I just didnt see this as fair. I tell him I'm taking a 2wk vacation to go see friends in Thailand by myself, while he takes care of our daughter all by himself. I've stocked up more than 2wks in evenings spent by myself with a needy baby.

Rkonkin.. pretty much said it all for me as well. Ugh, men!! They were born different, that is for sure.

Answer 9

the wife gets to go out with her friends at a later time while he stays at home and watches the baby.

Answer 10

Mom gets to go out some night while dad stays with baby. Or Mom gets a pedicure from dad while dad watches baby!