Here's an oldie but a goodie:
What do you get when you cross a greedy politician with a crooked lawyer?
A:- Chelsea!!
2006-11-24 07:35:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Politics
Q: How did Bill & Hillary Clinton meet?
A: They were dating the same girl in college.
2006-11-24 07:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near,
he called for his lawyer. "I want to become a Democrat.
Get me a change of registration form." "You can do it",
the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do
you want to become a Democrat?" "That's my business!
Get me the form!"
Four days later, the old man got his registration changed.
His lawyer was at hi bedside making sure his bill would be
paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of cough
ing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before
it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "One less
Democrat".
2006-11-24 15:50:56 · answer #2 · answered by Vagabond5879 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here you go:
Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund's chair. They begin talking.
After about five minutes Akhund presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he's finally had enough.
"I'm headin' back home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We'll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Akhund flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Akhund notices three buttons on Bush's chair arm and prepares himself for the Texan's retaliation. They begin talking and George presses the first button. Akhund ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers but they continue talking. A few minutes later he presses the second button. Akhund jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. They continue the talks but when the third button is pressed, Akhund jumps up again, but again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Akhund. "I'm going back to Afghanistan!" George W. says, through tears of laughter, "What Afghanistan?"
2006-11-24 15:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by jerofjungle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A woman calls the police and complains that there is a Republican playing withhimself out on the street. The officer wanted to know why she though he was a Republicans and she said if he was a Democrat he would be out screwing the country.
How many Republican and Democrat politicans are required to screw in a lightbulb. None. Republicans screw pages, Democrats screw interns and both have their aids replace the lightbulbs.
2006-11-24 15:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by gregory_dittman 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That was good! I heard recently that Nancy Pelosi has has so many face lifts, that her toes curl up everytime she blinks!
2006-11-24 15:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hillary rodham...best poilitical joke ive seen in over ten years and needs no elaboration whatsoever.
2006-11-24 16:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by koalatcomics 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate your efforts.
I can't see much to laugh about politically these days.
Although the idea of getting rid of liberal Republicans and replacing them with conservative Democrats is somewhat amusing.
2006-11-24 15:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a carp?
A. One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
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"We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur."
Vice-President Al Gore, 09-22-97
2006-11-24 15:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok heres one...
Q: Who is the President?
A: George Bush
Oh wait that is scary not funny
Sorry can't help you.
2006-11-24 15:48:04 · answer #9 · answered by Perplexed 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Who cares about POLITICAL jokes?
2006-11-24 15:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Furious with America 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋