I’m at my wits in. My cousin has 3 kids and his going through a messy divorce. Her soon to be ex-husband cheated on here and is now with the women he cheated with. Despite that, he’s a cool guy and is a wonderful father. For the past 3 months they have been apart, she’s constantly bad-mouthed him in front of the kids and won’t let him see the kids. They miss him a lot. The reason why she says she won’t let him see the kids is because of his new girlfriend. I keep trying to tell her “That is still his kids and he is still their father. He has a right to see them”. All she wants him to do is pay for them and not see them. I keep trying to tell her that what she’s doing is not right. They only know that he’s their daddy and they the love him. They should not be subjected to this kind of thing. He loves his kids a lot and will do anything for them and she knows this. How can I get through to her?
2006-11-24 06:38:39 · 7 answers · asked by Lady Tee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is being controlling with the kids because she is hurt and angry and wants to have some sort of power now when she didn't have any before. It's not right what she is doing and if she doesn't watch out, he could actually go to court and get partial custody and then she'll lose power again.
Another way to look at it is that you could try telling her that she might lose the love of her kids if she keeps using them as "tools" to get back at their dad. If she loves those kids, she needs to put aside her angry, hurt feelings and do what's best for those kids. That's the ultimate power.
2006-11-24 06:44:11 · answer #1 · answered by babe_in_the_country 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He needs to take her to court and sue for visitation. If she refuses I believe she can go to jail. Tell her that. She needs to quit using her broken heart to hurt her kids. That is what she is really doing. When the kids grow up to hate her and want to live with their dad then she will realize what a jerk she was being. Some people have to learn the hard way.
2006-11-24 06:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by party_pam 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well that's a toughie! She is not gonna listen easy because she does not think you know what she's been through. She is USING her children to revenge him. Let her read all these comments and see what she says. The kids should not have to live the parents worst moments thats not fair to them.
2006-11-24 07:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's going to be that hard headed, then there's nothing you can do about it. You've voiced your opinion to her, & all she wants is revenge.
One day, her kids will turn to her, & say "Why did you ruin our relationship with our Dad?", & all she'll be able to do is hang her head in shame for doing what she has done.
Dr Phil has many good things to say on this very subject. Try visiting his website at www.drphil.com, & see what you can find there.
2006-11-24 06:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything anymore. When the kids grow up to hate her, she'll realized that she did the wrong thing. Some people can't be talked to.
2006-11-24 06:48:39 · answer #5 · answered by D-Wizzle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, you tried, so now it is none of your business. Continue to be her friend and support her through this difficult time. She is hurting and sad to say that through her hurt she is also hurting her children.
If her ex loves the kids like you said he does, his next step would be to go back to court and have scheduled visitations.
Best of luck !
2006-11-24 06:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can't ... she's hurt ... he needs you on his side, she is mentally unstable ... and they need to be w/ the parent who will be the mature adult ... good luck
2006-11-24 06:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by emnari 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋