after living together for some time, do couple who had forced marriages get devorced or can they learn to love each other?
2006-11-24 05:38:57 · 13 answers · asked by far_2_cute_4_you 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They can love
2006-11-24 05:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on sociological context, and what you mean by 'forced'.
If you mean 'shotgun' marriages, because the girl was made pregnant, yes, they can work, but there are usually financial hardships, and family hostilities.
If you mean 'arranged' marriages, they work just fine in their socio-cultural context. If one or the other partner has become 'modern', and 'Western' enough to chafe at the idea of marrying according to his/her parent/s judgement, they tend to break down. Sadly, if it's the man whose values have changed, he will leave behind a 'damaged', 'unmarriageable' woman, who may prefer death, to that fate.
This is what comes of imposing one culture on another. Or mashing too many cultures together.
My Aunt, in India, had an arranged marriage at 17. She had not met, and did not like the man to whom she was married for close to 70 years.
Her commitment was not to HIM, and certainly not to 'love', but to marriage itself, and to their families. They found a way to make it work, as did all of my mother's relatives. That was just how things were done. 'Love' was never the objective. 'Harmony', 'co-operation', and 'raising a good family' were the objectives, and they achieved those very well. My Aunt used to laugh and say '[my husband] and I never expected to love each other, so we didn't worry about what we were missing. We got used to each other, and were considerate of each other, and he wasn't a brute, so I was fortunate! Besides, young people are too foolish to choose their own husbands and wives...'
I have to agree. My mxthxr chose my fxthxr. They were a disastrous couple... and the Abominable Pxrxnts.
That sounds very strange, to Westerners, but it is the Way Things Worked, in India of that generation (she was born in 1922).
I couldn't handle a 'forced' marriage, but I was FORCED to do all sorts of thing, from infancy. I get homicidal.
2006-11-24 14:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by protectrikz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live near Southall and sadly many forced or arranged marriages dont work out but they are not allowed to divorce as it brings disgrace on the family. Therefore a high number of women commit suicide - some even jumping under trains with thier kids . Others continue to live with violent and abusive husbands for years - very sad.
2006-11-24 13:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by starlet108 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
By "forced" do you mean arranged or shotgun? I think you can learn to love someone, especially if you didn't know the person when you got married. what is some time? A week, a month, a year, a decade?
2006-11-24 13:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you went into marriage with out been in love what was you thinking,love is not some think that will grow only that it might
2006-11-24 14:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by barnowl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes
Love develops afterwards..
My marriage was not forced ..rather arranged
last more than 17...still going
2006-11-24 13:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by snow l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love can develop afterwards but the persons should be committed so that their arrnged marriage can be successful
2006-11-24 14:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by :) 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
d marriage might break down but d parties involved don't dare leave each other, so d just hang on cos of d repercussions d face if d divorce, it is really sad.
2006-11-24 15:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by gal-next-dr 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
aranged marriages actually have one of the lowest divorce rates
2006-11-24 13:41:43 · answer #9 · answered by llfrot1984@rogers.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, sadly they do! even when both parties try and work at it, for whatever reasons, the marriages do crumble and fall apart
2006-11-24 13:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by baybeegrl5 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋