pending lesdar?

Question

I'm TOTALLY not in tune with my lesdar, even though i've known that i'm a lesbian since i was a kid. I'm not out yet so it's really hard to identify other lesbians, especially femmes. I often have crushes on feminine girls but i don't act on these feelings cos i'm too afraid that they'll turn out to be straight. Most of them turn out to be so anyway.

I had a friend who was a dyke and she confessed her love for this girl whom i was secretly harbouring a crush on but it turned out that this girl was straight. But it was rather amicable cos they still remained friends and i was sort of relieved that i didnt come out to her (the straight girl). Oh, btw, that friend of mine who was a dyke committed suicide ='(

Point is, is there any way that i can brush up on my lesdar? I don't get the right vibes..

Answer 1

Sorry about your friend.
Keep practising though! There is no harm in asking outright if someone is straight, you don't need to say you are interested (until you know), just a general question of are you attached, usually works.
Saying all this I'm straight but have been chatted up by a few women as I have gay friends and go to gay clubs etc, it is really flattering and I have been very tempted by a few as they were gorgeous!!
Don't worry about it, the worst is someone can say no, if they will not remain friends after this, they weren't worth having as friends in the first place.

Best wishes, and sorry for ramble..........

Answer 2

Practice makes perfect. Go spend more time in dyke clubs and hangouts. You'll pick up the signals & you'll learn.

Answer 3

not really. when you start coming out to people they will start to feel more comfortable coming out to you. until then, you will just continue to crush on straight girls. don't worry though, we all do it, even when we know they're straight. it's just something you'll learn to deal with.