I moved to Texas almost 3 years ago and haven't spoken to my sisters since my mom passed away about 2 years ago. Even then, when I called, my sister was suspicious about how my voice had changed, and was trying to ask me questions, but I blew her off. Now that it's been over 2 years, my voice has REALLY changed and I'm afraid to call them. I didn't even call them yesterday for Thanksgiving. I feel sad being apart from my oldest sister though, she was always very nice and good to me. I want to come out to her, and I've thought about explaining it all in a Christmas card and mailing it it her. Is this a good idea?
2006-11-24 04:36:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I WOULD do it in person, but my sisters live states away. They are in Illinois and I'm in Texas. I'm a full time college student, so I would only be able to go there during one of my breaks, which usually centers around a holiday away.
2006-11-24 05:08:03 · update #1
I think if it were me, I'd open a Word document and start writing. When I had it all down the way I wanted, I'd then hand-write a letter to my sisters.
You say your oldest sister has always been nice to you, so she'll probably understand why you've been out of touch and how scary this is for you. Hopefully your other siblings will as well.
I hope that you're getting some support from a group that is LGBT-friendly and a counselor who is familiar with the process of coming out.
2006-11-24 05:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by KIT J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAY, SCI well that is some thing u should tell her over the phone but right her a letter first to may be kind of get her ready for when u call and i might be ok and it might not but its time 4 u 2 start building that tuff skin bcuz family has a way of hurting u the most so just have ur gard up.What ever happens just remmber that some people have a hard time w/ things they don't understand,good or bad just still love them and send them a card once in a while even if they don't write back becuz they have 2 live w/ them selves.GOOD LUCK!let us know what u do and how it go's.
2006-11-24 13:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by djonecat@yahoo.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd do it i a letter if you can't do it in person. Every TS has to go through coming out of the closet to family. It sounds like you can't excuse away your changes anymore. Probably time to do it soon. I don't think a Christmas card has enough room.
You could also write a practice letter but tell them over the phone or in person. Writing will help you organize your thoughts and prepare for what to say.
2006-11-24 04:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by BiyGuy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I wouldn't explain the whole thing in the card. I'd let them know that I wanted to speak with them about something very important in the card, then tell them everything on the phone.
**added: I don't think I'd put anything in a Christmas card. I'd wait till after the holidays(I don't know your family but they may accuse you of ruining the holiday with that news), write them a letter saying you have something very important you need to discuss with them, then tell them over the phone. The letter will soften it a bit and prepare them that something is coming.
2006-11-24 04:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by ByTheSea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would spend days writing a letter that explans just enough but shows your true feelings and intentions
telling them why you have not called
that you have started your new life as a man
and are being true to yourself
make sure you do not blam your sisters or your parents
you know the true reason for who you are today
weather you want to show it to them is up to you
you do now it takes alot of effort to hide who you are
you must have done this for many years growing up
you now the best way to come out and say it
is to just say it
if they don't understand don't try to forse them to understand
if you have been able to life with out them
you are fine if it all blows up you just hang up the phone & never talk or call back again
if they want to see you or they really do still love you let them know you care and are being the person you whre always have been and with the body you are meant to have
good luck it is not easy
2006-11-25 00:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by Zara3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should think about doing it after Christmas day. This will be shocking stuff for them. They won't be able to focus on Christmas if you drop the bomb a day or two before. Try it a couple days after. Or wait until January.
2006-11-24 06:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by kickbutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think christmas isn't necessarily the best time (tho you should definately send her a card to let her know you're alive and well and thinking of her.) But when it comes to making fresh starts, I still think New Years (or just after) is the best time. For one thing, that's what it's traditionally for.
2006-11-24 06:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by angiekaos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd do it in a letter. That would give her more time to compose herself and not say something off putting. Because it will be a shock and you know how things just fly out of your mouth when you're shocked.
Also, I know you've just had a big shock yourself and are feeling bad. Don't do anything in the depths of depression.
2006-11-24 06:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by jane7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you send a picture to them with a note telling them who you really are and want to be? I would call them first to let them know there is important mail forthcoming to them! You have to own up and sooner is better than later!
2006-11-24 07:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by cadaholic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do the Christmas Card it is to impersonal even. Go to one of your sisters and talk to her in person. Maybe go to a park or to lunch. Do talk to her though, and do it in person. I bet my bottom dollar you will be surprised at how well she deals with it.
2006-11-24 04:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋