I cant stand my e husband and I have to tolerate him because of the kids?

Question

oh my God!!! please any ideas, serious answers, by the way I already see as little as possible. he argues with anything I say He would argue with a oppussom

Answer 1

When you drop off or he picks up the kids just do not talk. If there is so much tension still between you it is much better if the children do not see you arguing all the time. He is your ex so until you two can be civil, No talking thus No arguing. Believe me after a couple of weeks he will realize what is going on and stop arguing with you so that he Can actually talk to you, if he needs to. Whatever you do, Do Not talk BAD about their father to them. They still do have to spend time with him and he is their father.

Answer 2

My x was the same way. He would argue with a fence post if he could. I had to end up getting a restraining order on mine for him to leave me alone. But that really didn't stop him but he sure ended up in court a lot for violation of protective order.The protective order will not stop them from harassing you but it will give the police legal rights to take action. He did not leave me alone until the kids were grown and gone. Then the last time he called me, I told him "hey the kids don't live here any more, you don't pay child support any more, we have nothing else to say any more, get a life of your own and get out of mine". That was the last time that I ever heard from him again, knock on wood, that was 2 years ago.

Answer 3

Well let me give you some things to think about first. then we will try to solve your problem! Okay?

Things to Think About
1: do your kids talk about him a lot? bad or good things?
2: does he purposely argue with you and disagree with you?
3: how does he feel about you two fighting?
4: how does it make the kids feel?

Sit him down when you get a chance and calmly talk to him about the way the kids feel when you two argue.
Take care of the kids first.
Ask him how he thinks you two could solve this issue.
Stay calm when you talk.
If you cant solve your arguing problem by talking, then just try not to talk unless you absolutely have to.
Exchange 'hellos' and 'goodbyes', but no more unless necessary.
Please tell me what happens.
I would really like to know if i helped at all.

[e-mail]

Love,
Cara

Answer 4

He sounds like the normal ex to me. That is how mine always was. You have to keep things as impersonal as possible. Do not allow him to talk about anything that does not deal directly with the kids. Warn him about this then hang up if he keeps going on and arguing with you. Talk to your lawyer and have him send a letter stating that you will take him to court for harassment if he does not stop. Get a protective order against him if he comes to your home.

Answer 5

It would help to know the age of the kids and what you two are arguing about.
Its not good for you two to be arguing. Your kids are going have problems later in life. You know your ex the best and what button to push to make listen for a few minutes. Push that button and try to explain to him that you two are not together anymore as a couple but you two are forever connected as parents. You two have to learn to ride teh roat with rocking it, or you two will have big problems later with your kids. You have to get it together, you have to try, atleast when the kids are around, to act like normal human beings. You two had sex, kids, you washed his dirty clothes and took you mood swings, thats enough to be able to have a normal relationship. If you two dont stay on top of things your kids are going to be saying one thing to mom and another to dad, and because you do not get along, they will get into trouble.
Your children have to see that evelved people can be civil to eachother, this is important for their later relationsip in life. If he acts up tell him you already told the children and if he can not handle himself better you will explain to the children that its not mom who is acting like a 2 year old but daddy. And if does not want to look like a looser infront of his kids, then he should start acting like a grown up.

If that does not work, put your foot down. Make new rules, which if he does not like and see you in court about. You tell him!, that he is to act like a grown up when around you and your kids. If he can not then he
will become one of the dads who will see his kids mon-fri and you will become a weekend mom, because you are stressed enough and dont need all his emotional sh..t in addition to the stress with the kids.
And make it true, have the copies of all docs for the kids ready for him, so he see you really mean it. And a list of favorite foods and dislikes. School schedules and ofcource the next date for pta meeting. Stay cool the whole time, and just say its the way it is.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, due to some laws, if your ex-husband has visitation rights, you'll have no choice but to deal with him. After all, he is the kids' father. If he wants to argue with you about everything, just remember this: "Thank God you're not married to him anymore!"...and just walk away with a smile on your face knowing that. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

If all you have to stay for is the kids, do them and yourselves a favor and get out. You can still be great parents to the kids as long as you have their best interests in mind. A house that's full of resentment or fighting is terrible for the kids. Staying for them would not be the answer for anyone's happiness.

Answer 8

don't stay for the kids if they are there when you argue your hurting your kids anyways try to get marriage help if not the go your separate ways its pretty easy 1. try to work it out 2. separate
my parents argued for years then they seperated for a year we stayed with my dad cause my mom wanted to be alone anyways they did this twice and they argued cause my dad lied about taxes and we lost our house its 5-6 years later there with each other now but i think there only friends but i still have my parents in one place my dad is a truck driver so hes not home much it works for them and it worked for the kids and im 33 now

Answer 9

What would you like to do? Make the decision and don't look back.

Life is short and you are entitled to be happy.

How to decide what to do? Try this :

Ask yourself if this relationship is worth saving. Then ask yourself where you see these problems going a year from now?
Finally, decide if this is the man you would like to spend your time with if you had only 3 months left to live.

Now- you've got your answer....

Answer 10

Dont stay with him because of the kids, but be sure you want
him out of your life before you take a hike.

If argumentation is the issue, a really good counselor can sometimes help both of you get each other's attention. If you just cant stomach the bum, dont like anything about him, and never are going to like anything about him, pack up your knickers.