He told me this morning he no longer cares if we divorce or not. He is tired of trying. He is tired of getting hurt. He loves me but he doesn't feel he needs to show me. He doesn't want to be vulnerable because he might get hurt. People have always let him down.
I have never cheated on him. I don't always keep a clean house, but I try. Sometimes I call him names when we fight. I cook for him every day. I have sex with him whenever he wants. I serve him breakfast in bed almost every day. I pay all the bills. I do all the laundry. I work full time. I am in school to get my real estate license so we can have more money coming in.
Should I leave him?
There is a very, very small chance that I could be pregnant. We were not as careful as we should have been this month. I won't know until next weekend. We don't have any kids together, no kids at all. We have only been married a few years.
Should this fact affect if I leave him or not?
2006-11-24 04:01:09 · 14 answers · asked by Cheyne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is working, too.
We have been to counseling for 5 months and he said that the counselor doesn't understand him and he doesn't want to find another. We went to the marriage class at our church and he said he hears the same thing over and over. He wants to hear something new.
I haven't called him a name in months.
We argue/disagree every day. It has been like that our whole marriage.
2006-11-24 04:35:56 · update #1
Girl, where's your life? It seems like you're probably driving yourself insane just trying to keep him alive. You need to work on you. Forget him, not physically, but pamper yourself, he's a big boy and I think he needs to learn how to do things for himself. I had a relationship like that once and it ended up with me going insane, and he was on top of me choking me until I passed out while I was 8 pregnant and my 4 yr old son was watching. I'm not saying that's how you'll end up, but you really don't need to be doing all that stuff for him, he could be feeling smothered. More than likely he wants a wife, not a mom. Being pregnant should never be a reason to stay in a relationship. It's sounds like your are a co-dependent enabler. Get mad at that all you want, but I can say that, because I've been there. You want him to rely on you. I would suggest trying to save your marriage of course, but don't over do it. If you hug a baby to tightly he'll get suffucated by all the pressure on his nose and mouth. Think about it, pray about it.... darling, worry about you, not him.
2006-11-24 04:36:20 · answer #1 · answered by thezookeeper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of people, both men and women, who don't know how to appreciate a good spouse. If there are no kids and he doesn't feel as though he needs to show you he loves you, that's a red flag!! If you're doing all the things you say and he's still not happy, it may just not be possible to please him. If he doesn't feel the marraige is worth working for, you can't do it all alone. A marriage takes two, two with the same goals and morales of life. If he doesn't have that you may just be with the wrong man. What's gonna happen if you do get pregnant? Sounds like you'd be a single mom, more or less but it could also change things for the better. You should search yourself for how much this marriage means to you and if you're willing to be patient and understanding with his downfalls. If it's too much now, imagine what it would be like with a child, whose father doesn't want to be a father anymore than he wants to be a husband. Tough call, best of luck to you!
2006-11-24 04:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are trying to get permission to leave him through our answers to you. If you feel like you need to, then pack up your bags and go but if you think there's a chance you two can talk about things and smooth things over then you are better off doing that. And the name calling must come to an immediate end. I used to do that to until my hubby told me how it hurts him extremely bad, I've now stopped all that nonsense (it is childish afterall). Marriages take time, energy and lots of work by both partners to make it work. If he doesn't, then it might be best to talk this through and if you two cannot come to an agreement to try, then it's best to cut your losses and leave.
2006-11-24 04:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really only you know if you should leave him or not. Having a baby shouldn't affect the decision. If you're truly unhappy, it would be best to leave before a baby enters the picture, because that would make it difficult on three people, not just two. I would suggest going to see a relationship counselor if you feel that it's something that could be worked out. Either way, you two have to sit down and sort your feelings out and see if you really belong together.
2006-11-24 04:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by Dan D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds really insecure and like hes been hurt really bad or feels worthless? Is Divorce brought up a lot or leaving one another?
What he said to you was very forth coming however silent pain at the same time.
Have you ever went to counseling? Do you fight a lot?
Does he speak his mind?
If you love him don't leave him ,try to make it work. Love goes both ways.....Compromise,Compassion,Caring and sharing.
Marriage can be like a roller coaster....many ups and downs...however you're on the ride together....make it worth while.
Sounds like there may be a distance between you, that could bring you closer.
Do you or can you see yourself with out him?
Look deep into your heart....because there is no going back.
best wishes
2006-11-24 04:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really up to you and the way you feel but it sounds like hes trying to escape the relationship if a person says they don't care if you be together or not and they don't want to get hurt then you really don't need to be with him because that means he is liable to cheat and if you work and pay the bills and cook and have sex with him whenever then he should be kissing your a** he is taking you for granted which is not cool you need to kick him to the curb just for those reasons alone he wants a mother not a wife you should put all his s*** to the left and see how he survives without you cause really you're his bread and butter but you need to toast his a**
2006-11-24 04:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are doing everything. What the hell is he doing ? Why isn't he working ? If he is not willing to try to save the marriage, then you need to go. Pack your bags and leave, you don't need the stress of someone not appreciating you and I hope for your sake you are not pregnant.
2006-11-24 04:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to save your marriage. You are doing the right things for him. I suggest reading the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. That may help as well.
Good luck!
2006-11-24 04:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he is an ungrateful , insensitive , spoiled, self-centered baby who is the sole beneficiary in his marriage to a wonderful woman...
Divorce him and find a mature MAN who will love & care for you
as you deserve...
2006-11-24 04:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the question to ask here is are you happy in this relationship at this time in your life. Are you tired of trying? If you have the answers to those questions then you have answered your own question.....
2006-11-24 04:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋