is it just me or have you noticed the negative difference in child behaviour since the ban on smacking?

Question

children don't have any fears (and by this i mean fears about upsetting others etc) anymore and i feel this is quite dangerous and worrying of course it doesn't apply to all children but they are our future generation and they don't seem to have any morals or respect for anyone, is it me or has this country gone totally to pot, i really respect teachers how they put up with the assaults the abuse is beyond me, and it's the child that gets away with it the teachers can't do a thing, bullying goes un tackled because the teachers themselves are often intimidated by the bullies, are we just setting are selves up for ruining this country totally i'm scared to have children because i hate to think what this country is going to be like in the next 20 to 30 yrs

just to point out, abusing children will always happen with a smacking law in place or not, i am not taking about beating children i got a quick sting on the back of the legs. there is a limit which i would think is quite obvious.

Answer 1

Yeah lets all start hitting our kids, that'll mean they'll grow up to know the difference between right and wrong ....

hmmm...

Answer 2

I was pleased to hear on the news last night that parents are going to be held accountable for there childrens behaviour. At last! When i was a young girl if you broke a pane of glass in a neighbours greenhouse for example your parents took you round there and you were made to apologise and pay for the damage. Could you imagine that happening today? No you'd get a mouthful of abuse off the child and you'd be lucky not to have charges brought against you. You know, i really don't think smacking is the key as i've never smacked my kids and they finish top of the school, they don't play out in front of other peoples houses making a nuisance of themselves and at the moment are on fast track at school. I have noticed though that parents don't parent anymore, they let kids run up and down on buses, they bribe them with chocolate and sweets hoping that that will make them good instead of rewarding them with it only when they are good. Kids now have so many rights and don't they no it! You know just the fact that you've raised the question in my view shows that you'll make a wonderful parent!

Answer 3

it might sound a bit tongue in cheeck but it's true: it is an evolutionary imperative to smack children. it has been researched and observed in all animals (&maybe some plants too ): it's called operant conditioning.

a good action is affirmed by encouragement
a bad action is deterred by punishment

if you look at it historically, since the beginning of the ages responsible smacking (not beating, not venting your frustrations on your kids, not germinating hate or causing brain damage- responsible and controlled smacking) ... has been used much, much more often than not.

IF A CHILD HITS ANOTHER CHILD AND YOU THEN SMACK THE OFFENDING CHILD, what will they understand? this is an argument that many prodiscipline fail to adress properly: a playground fight is completely different to discipline by authority, where pros and cons are discussed and understood (yet not enough) warnings and milder punishments are given, restrictions on freedoms are curtailed the child must understand after this that lack of obedience can bring about unpleasant results.

yes, abuse of one's control can produce extremely detrimental results where a child feels ostracised, betrayed, ignored and unloved. parents should assess themselves before taking any course of action with children and certainly not smack a child while they are feeling angry or unprepared for deep discussion

DISCIPLINE CANNOT BE RESTRICTED TO ACTIVITIES THAT ASSUME THE CHILD'S COOPERATION.
Telling someone to go to their room or come for detention can be an absurd recommendation for certain children in certain situations. that is why i think the current system is wrong. this can be seen in the youth that we entertain as a result.


the period of time the west has spent not smacking children pales into insignificance compared to the smacking tradition. any logical person would argue that this doesn't mean it's right does it? the answer is simple: operant conditioning works and it does so on most things that are not manmade or otherwise inanimate objects. even plants to some extent. it is a basic tool of development and even our subconscious uses it to help us deal with situations.

e.g. our bodies have been trained to feel disgust in order to help us get away from disease and other potentially harmful things quickly, whereas we know that sex is good through the positive affirmation of this fact so we pursue it.

growing children are meant to explore their worlds, find boundaries, fit into society and become decent people. if children do not have various levels of restrictions and controls, their natural testing of these boundaries will recieve poor results and be reacted to poorly. and the older the child gets, the more pronounced this lack becomes.

that is why if a child does something right or wrong, logic should be the first thing to be applied to explore the issue. later as the child questions and discovers consequences for themselves they will test what you say as part of their decision making process. that is the stage at which it's necessary to apply carrot and/or stick.

children are expected to grow up too fast, they are not given enough time to be children, to be exempt from targets and choices and maturity. this lack of balance coupled with lack of discipline is a powerful combination which can produce quite varied results in our offspring.

Answer 4

Everything starts at home. I blame my generation (40+) crowd. The damn parents want to be the kids best friends instead of parenting and disciplining their children. It sickens me to see a mother wearing earrings in her nose or navel and a skirt that reveals too much like a whore on nickel night....then next to the mother is the daughter dressed the same. Parents have perverted the way parenting should be. I am a father first, then a friend. But Im not here to be my kids "best friend". That is the wrong approach. Also, what in the heck are parents doing by allowing their kids to drink or smoke in front of them. The problem isd the attitude. The attitude that says "Oh well, their going to do it anyway." That is such a lazy way out to correcting the child. Nobody seems to want to work at being a parent so they take the easy excuse.

Answer 5

I totally agree. I think any with brain cells realise what we are really talking about here is a smack on the hand or a small slap around the back of the legs...NOT punching their lights out. "Sit down and talk to your child..reason with them"..yeah...right...sit down with a 2-3-4 year old and explain why they shouldn't shove things into the electric socket...I am sure they will understand..and never do it again...Oh, hold on...they didn't after all...and now look.... A smack on the hand just scares them, they soon learn, I did. I was NEVER beaten, and I can tell you something else, it didn't happen often!!!! Kids behaviour has definately gotten worse....another great idea to go onto the list!

Answer 6

I know when I was a child, if I did anything wrong, I got a smack, but unfortunately nowadays its all these dogooders thathave interfered. I don`t believe in thrashing a child, but a smack I would think would do more good than harm. The victorians had the right idea spare the rod and spoil the child

Answer 7

Good behaviour is taught at home by parents who also have good behaviour! Don't be frightened of having children, be frightened that you won't be strong enough for long enough to turn them into decent human beings. Parents are lazy now, that's the only problem.
Just a thought but should we smack every-one that does something wrong or just children? why just children?????

Answer 8

I dont believe that smacking children would be the right thing to do although understand what you are saying, It is complely up to the parents to bring children up to give respect. And your grandparents probably said the same thing 30 years ago as you are saying now.

Answer 9

Children have always been naughty, that's why they were being hit in the first place.

But hitting children just wasn't really effective.

Use your giant brain to come up with a better method, we'd ALL love to hear more about what you think.

Answer 10

Just thank Tony Blair and the PC brigade, they are the culprits.

If it wasn't for their stupidity the country would be a better place, not worse as it has become.