2006-11-24 03:34:35 · 9 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
go to court and they tell you what's best for the child
2006-11-24 03:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beware! If the mediator is a women, she may be so biased that you will not get a chance to voice your opinion! The first hint she is being this way say these words "You are being obviously sexually biased, and I want a different mediator!" Give the example that made you say this, and she will immediately become an unbiased mediator again. You will have to give her the eye the whole time she is mediating after this. Watch her carefully and make sure she isn't trying to manipulate the conversation. I told mine that she has been abrasive in her dealings with me and extremely biased. Next thing you know, I've got custody of the kids and my wife is paying child support. I was also warned about this possibility before our first meeting, THANK GOD!
2006-11-24 03:46:21 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing about mediators. I've read the other answers and there is one crucial thing in which everyone is missing. It is true that this person is appointed by the court, and that they are there to listen and assist in resolving any conflict, BUT they are also there to evaluate the situation from their point of view. They write a report to the judge and confer with the Guardian Adlitem and Social Worker on the case. They let us know who is willing to compromise and who wants all the control. All this ties in to deciding where those children will reside. My best advice? Think about your argument prior to going in there. (choose your battles wisely or don't make mountains out of molehills) DO NOT interrupt your ex. listen to suggestions and calmly make a few of your own that would appear to work for everyone, even if that means you have to give up something. I've seen a dozen of these cases and 9 times out of 10, the more compromising, reasonable, level-headed parent with a plan is usually the one who ends up winning.
2006-11-24 03:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a mediator is used before you go in front of the judge to see if you 2 can come to an agreement on things. And if everything is agreed on, then you won't have to go in front of the judge. it's just a third party listening to both sides and making suggestions and to try and get a deal going without a lot of fighting, yelling, name calling, etc. I almost had to go through that but the guy never did participate....make the effort to participate or it will look bad on you.
2006-11-24 03:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by living_dead_sandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are there as unbiased opinions to help the two parties come to a mutual agreement without going to court.
write down what you would like to see happen with custody (visitation: holidays, school year, summer, etc) this way you already know what you want. when you go in there...basically you end up compromising between each other and come up with the best solution. the idea is to go in there with your child(ren) in mind and work to get the best solution for you and your child(ren) with out it becoming a court battle.
FYI to a comment above...the courts DONT know what is best for your child(ren)....they don't live with them! they only see black and white and hear what you have to say...and only if you cant come to a mutual agreement do they step in and decide what is best. that usually ends up being the "standard" custody arrangement the state outlines and that doesnt alway work best!
2006-11-24 03:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Can't you come to an agreement by yourselves? Your the adults here.It's not about you,it's about what is best for the child.A mediator could care less who gets the child.They just want to close the case and move on to the next.And both of you have the right to take care of them.Work to give the child the best care you both can give.
2006-11-24 03:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mediator is an unbiased third party who listens to both sides of the story and tries to get both parties to agree to a compromise. This is different from an arbitrator, who comes up with the decision on their own and expects both parties to agree with it. I know this from studying alternative dispute resolution in my law class.
2006-11-24 03:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they help u 2 come 2 a mutual agreement which best suits the child. they also discuss differences & points n the interest of the child which helps u 2 rid of the things that don't apply 2 the child.
2006-11-24 03:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. San 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to do that and it was a total waste of money. The lawyer talked more about himself then helping us. All at the cost of $200 an hour.
Good luck!
2006-11-24 03:40:03 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋