From the answers to my previous question, many of you think that I must be a stupid teenager. In fact I am 30 years old and yes I shouldn't have got pregnant like this but I did take the right precautions at every stage. Have none of you ever got romantically carried away with anyone? Does it make me a fool to get pregnant accidentally?
2006-11-24 03:16:09 · 44 answers · asked by Sara 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Although I was still with my boyfriend while I was seeing this other person, the truth is I had fallen madly in love with this person. Unfortunately I don't think he felt the same way and just treated it as a fling! My boyfriend and I were having a lot of problems at the time and were on the verge of splitting up, however we were not sleeping together at all at the time.
2006-11-24 04:17:04 · update #1
Well you've set yourself up for a tough time.
I presume the father of the baby (if you know who he is) doesn't want to know or is unlikely to.
As for your BF, well it depends on how he reacts when you tell him the baby isn't his (I hope you will be honest with him, its cruel not to ) but I imagine he'll be gone in a puff of smoke too. To be honest most men would if their GF's told them they'd cheated and were pregnant by someone else.
Being pregnant is wonderful, although it can be hard - I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my first and lucky to have a wonderful man who supports me. Its so nice to be able to share it as a couple and sadly thats one thing you might miss out on.
But its not impossible. Single mums have been bringing up their babies forever and they will carry on doing so. Do you have family and friends who will support you?
Theres never a "good" time to get pregnant - you just have to cope with it when it happens, and adjust as best you can with what resources are available to you.
I don't think you're "stupid" - accidents happen - but what you need to concentrate on now is doing whats best for you and your baby. Forget men for a while, you have someone more important to think about now.
2006-11-24 10:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 30 and you are pregnant by someone other than your boyfriend than you really are stupid. One would expect a foolish teenager who doesn't know any better than this, but at your age, you really should have.
Further, you DIDN'T take EVERY precaution since not having the sex with that guy in the first place would have been the best precaution and you didn't use that one, did you?
I had a "fling" before my husband, and although it was exciting and fun, I knew I didn't want to be tied to that guy forever through a child. I made sure I went on the pill and stayed on it till my husband and I were ready to have a baby.
Don't put your mistake off on those who disapprove. You did it, you know you shouldn't have done it, and you put your mistake on the Internet for all to see. What else did you expect? If you didn't expect that most people here would disapprove, then I can understand how you got pregnant without being married and with someone other than your boyfriend's child. You are awfully naive.
Further, don't rationalize your bad behavior and poor choices by saying everyone else has been there. Not everyone has and even if everyone has, that is still no excuse for your actions. Good luck!
2006-11-24 03:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I wouldn't say stupid.
I've been romantically carried away when i shouldn't have been(but I'm married to him now) and I have had three marvellous children while on the pill-even upgraded the strength for the last two!
Guess the real question is what are you gonna do now? Does the boyfriend know or is he in the dark-is he even around? What about the dad to be are you intending to tell him? What you really need to do is straighten out your now drastically changed life and do some SERIOUS thinking.
Doesn't make you a fool to get pregnant 'accidentally' if you were using precautions but your circumstances might just make you a single parent.
Good luck regardless.
2006-11-24 03:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering you were only dating, technically you didn't do anything wrong by sleeping with someone else. If you in fact took precautions, then hey, **** happens.
But since you're asking this particular question online, it seems to indicate some self doubt and looks like you're looking for justification for yourself for what you did. At 30, you should have more self-confidence than a teenager when it comes to your own actions and owning up to them. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what any of US think about you, since we don't even know you or your whole situation.
2006-11-24 03:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by desiderio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid so, yes. If you were a teenager then it would have been a bad enough situation, but as you are a grown woman you really ought to have known better. I've never cheated on my fella (or any of my ex fellas) even when we've hit bad patches. If you weren't sleeping with someone you shouldn't have you wouldn't have got pregnant in the first place. The 'right precautions' would have been to sort out your problems with your long term boyf, or dump him and move on.
2006-11-24 03:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by Number O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting pregnant "accidentally" IS stupid. And you must have a low opinion of your boyfriend, too, to have an affair. But that's neither here nor there. You say you're 30. Well, time to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions.
You created a life. What you choose to do with it is something YOU have to deal with. Good luck.
2006-11-24 03:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
why did you not leave your boyfriend before you got carried away or waited until you had worked things out.You say you 30 but you are acting like a teenager who can not control her craving of lust.I find it disgusting that a person your age could abuse another person you had once liked enough to be in a relationship with.The child you now have to bring up will be a constant reminder of your inabilty to work things out and be responsible about your feelings and commit to someone
2006-11-24 06:45:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer. To answer your question; the only man I have ever gotten carried away with romantically was my fiance. It doesn't make you a fool to get pregnant accidentally, but it makes you retarded to sleep with someone other than your significant other and get knocked up.
2006-11-24 03:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes because you shouldn't be getting yourself in that situation in the first place. Fair enough, you took precautions (thats sensible) but nothing is 100% effective so if you're having sex you've got to accept that there is a very remote chance you might get pregnant. Why were you having sex with someone else behind your husbands back?
2006-11-24 03:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have been married for 31 years and never strayed. Maybe I am extremely happy with my wife and obviously made the correct choice :)
It doesn't make you a fool by accidently getting pregnant, but what is going to happen next?
2006-11-24 03:29:52 · answer #10 · answered by Longjohn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋