Is emotional abuse of a child enough to warrant a removal of custody?

Question

My 15 year old son, wanted to try to live with his Dad. His dad has been absent most of his life, but I had promised him that if the day ever came where he wanted to do that I would let him. (Now, I said that thinking since his father had not been part of his life and he held alot of hostility that he would never want to live him). Lo and behold, much to my dismay, it happened and I had to be true to my word. Since my son has moved, his father still is not putting any time into him. Last summer, he sent him to live with his paternal grandparents and would come and get him so he would mow for him. His father drinks, can't hold a job, and splits up with his wife every few months. If my son talks about me or any member of my family he gets grounded. If he watches sports and is not for the same team as his dad he gets grounded also. My son also says he is not allowed to tell me other things that are going on, his phone calls are monitored most of the time. Is this abuse?

My son says he is staying there because he has been dating this girl for a year now. I am also concerned that if I take this to court and don't let the situation play out that my son may resent me for taking him away from his girlfriend.

Answer 1

Yes it is enough to warrant a removal of custody. But tread lightly, because you don't want your son to feel resentment towards you for removing him from his father. I know this sounds strange but hear me out. Your son is 15 years old. He should have a say so in where he lives. I know in my state that the age for choosing where to live is 12 years old. Talk to your son and see if he would like to come back and live with you. Let him make the decision as to where he would like to live. That way, he can't be angry at you for not being with his dad. At his age, it's very easy to get persuaded into doing things. This has to be his choice. Eventually he will see the bigger picture and make the decision that most suits him. It takes kids a while before they see the truth in what's going on, but eventually they will see it and make their own choice. If he does decide to come and live with you, it will be a matter of going back to court where your divorce was finalized and letting your son talk to the referee or the judge to let them know his preference. I know this sounds kind of harsh, but it will keep resentment from rearing it's ugly head at you. We, as parents , always want what's best for the kids, but sometimes they have to make that decision, not us. I wish you luck.

Answer 2

Heck yeah it is and if you let him keep going there and something happens you will be held liable as well. I went throught the same thing, my parents split I felt I would be happier with my dad and he eventually kicked me out because he didnt want to be a father anymore (mind you he has 6 of us ) So yeah, it's best that he's with you just keep the lines of communication open so that he feels he wont have to prove that one parent is better than the other for what ever reasons (teenager's development).

Answer 3

My suggestion would be look at what your son is seeing on a daily basis as a role model in becoming a man. If you don't want your son to turn out like his dad I would do what I could to get him back. In the long run he will thank you one day, not resent you.

Good luck and be strong!

Answer 4

Who cares if he gets mad you took his gf away....he is your son do right by him and not let him live in an abusive situation.

Answer 5

yes if it can be proven and the child agrees it could be cause for removal

Answer 6

I think so. Abuse in any form is still abuse...

Answer 7

Of course it is!