When your husband of 18 years says he is not in love with you anymore what should you do?

Answer 1

Put him and his stuff to the curb.

Answer 2

Maybe the'spark' has just gone out of your union. I can only imagine that it hurts like hell to hear him say it especially if you don't feel the same.

If you are strong enough to have a conversation with him to find out the reason. Try that. People don't just 'fall out' of love but I do agree that sometimes people just grow away from each other. Maybe a he's been holding on to stuff over the years that should or could have been talked over. If it is that he's having an affair, have yourself a good cry, head for the bank then the lawyer's but don't accept that crap.

If he's still being good to you and not having an affair everything else is negotiable. If he's willing you could try marriage therapy, get your issues out (it may take a while and require toatal committ to trying to save your relationship)then a vacation. Maybe you stopped communicating on a deeper level without even realising it.

Whatever happens, realise that you can't make him love you anymore if he's not willing to try. 18 years is a long time but its better to let go than try to 'hold' him against his will it will only hurt more.

Good luck. Seek support if you need to. Strong people know when to ask for help.

Answer 3

I've been married for 18 years and I wish my husband could actually talk to me - about anything. He hides everything and makes me feel hurt, angry and isolated from him.
18 years is a long time, I know, I can sympathize with you. Has he told you why he doesn't love you anymore? Is there someone else? These are the questions you should ask and then decide where to go from there? Best of luck, hope he realizes what he has before it is too late!

Answer 4

What is there to do, try to get some counseling and see if the relationship can be rekindled. However, if his mind is made up and he is unwilling to try to save the marriage. there is very little you can do. I would get a divorce rather than be with someone who does not love me and obviously will not be a good husband. What is the point in staying with someone in a love less marriage. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. And besides married men live longer than married women. And single women live longer than married women. God bless****

Answer 5

know that somewhere there is another woman pulling all of the strings, and there is little u can do about it. unfortunatly it does show his true character. it shows he gives little thought to his future. he just don't find any value in u anymore, and u have to let him go, if u try and talk to him, or give him logic, he won't be able to see it, as he is too into this other woman to care right now about u or your feeling's. when this happens distance yourself from him, and make plans for a divorce, cause your marriage will never be the same anyway. sure it does hurt, but get the hurt out of the way as soon as u can,your holding on to nothing, and having expectations that u can somehow change his mind will hurt u more as time goes on. he has chosen her over u, he is telling u this, because he is about to leave you for her. sometimes we don't understand why, as we thought we had a good marriage, but we saw it the way we felt, we have no control over how the other person actually fels. he has met someone else, who is telling them everything they want to hear, she is pulling him in her direction, as she sees someone she wants to be with, she wants what u have, and it happens everyday to good people and it is futile to even try to change his mind, or believe he still loves us, cause he doesn't anymore. we just have no control over what people do or think. it has nothing to do with u, has all to do with him and the other woman, and unfair as it is, would u really want a man who loved someone else, who replaced u for another without even first trying to save his marriage, this is not about u, it is about how she makes him feel about himself, it's a brand new thing to him, and it feeds his low self worth.

Answer 6

Wow, 18 years is alot of invested time on both parts, but maybe its for the better maybe he is doing you a favour, and although it hurts, maybe he is not your "soul mate" You need to find someone who will love and respect you unconditionally.... Move on and dont let him see that your hurt, make him think you dont give a damn about him either... And do what a friend of mine did (while your still married) take out every penny of his bank account, and keep it with you.... there is absolutly nothing he can do, and absolutly nothing he can do to prove it was you!! LOL Jokes on him then isn't it! LOL
Keep your head up!!

~CHEERS!!~

Answer 7

When your husband of 18 years dies, what should you do? Basically the person he was has died. This is a different person. He is no longer there, but it doesnt mean you have to hate him. Nature makes people die... and fall out of love....

Answer 8

Unfortunately you have no choice but to believe him. If you have been married that long it is pretty well assured he is not pulling your leg.

Ask him directly if he wants a divorce. You may already know this but when a partner is this forthcoming with bad information it is better that 90% chance they have someone else. Ask him that directly. What do you have to loose now.

Sorry....I went through this myself. While it is very painful please know that you will get through it and be the better for it.

Answer 9

You can't do anything, people grow apart after some years. He can love you but not be in love with you, but have to decide what's best for you. Life is too short and you have to make yourself happy.

Answer 10

Get divorced.
It happened to me after 24 years....he was in "love" with someone else.

Eventually, I realized it was better--I didn't love him, I was just used to the situation.

I am now VERY happily married to a much smarter, better looking, and more FUN man!

Answer 11

Assume he is gone...then start living as if he is no longer with you.
Try to secure as much of the assets as you can.
Report any abuse,threats to the police.Men like these are cowards and bullies.