My bf and I are currently oceans apart over a month ago. We've been together for nearly 4yrs. I broke up with him because everytime when he's partying with group of friends he's often "high" or chronic (pot). He's somewhat a nice guy but when he gets exuberant and high he nis totally the opposite from what he is when he's clean/normal. I don't smoke, though drink in a rare occasion but moderately. This afternoon when i phoned him he sounded so fvcked up, slurred which I could hardly understood what he was saying. I get tired of this and I don't want to marry someone who has this kind of filthy habit. I love him but he cannot compromised with my personal standard. Did I make the right decision? Or should I say it's ok he can stick with his dirty habit as long as I don't. But it hurts me when I see/know he's not they way he is. Would you not care about it? What if your bf/husband or partner was a pot-head wouldn't you care?
2006-11-24 01:50:12 · 2 answers · asked by Arianne 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Whomever you partner up with will affect you intimately, no matter what's done to counteract that influence.
As a couple, when we examine our similarities, the values and priorities, we need to find harmony on that level or our relationship struggles (inherent in even the best of conditions) are greater than they need to be.
Someone has joked about the definition of true love being 'when two people's psychoses match'. The measure of truth in that statement suggests that it'd do us well to examine what each other's challenges/shortcomings are, and consider how those behaviors affect us.
Smokers have a monster challenge in the area of motivation. How much cajoling and persuading and waiting and missing appointments and patience and making excuses (these were my experiences) over how l-o-o-ng period of time are you willing to bring to this situation? It's not a pretty forecast.
Very best wishes for your lasting happiness...
2006-11-24 02:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might love him now, but after marriage you will NOT be able to stand it. Save yourself about $10,000 in divorce costs and walk away. It takes about a month to get over a guy like that.
Read the book "He's Just Not That Into You". It will change your life and free you.
2006-11-24 10:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by sixgun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋