This is gonna sound like a stupid thing but if ya got the time, please read.
I was not in the mood yesterday. My husband kept trying to get into my pants, trying to touch me after I said I didn't want to. If I was in the mood, sure I wouldn't mind but I didn't want to. He held me down on the bed and got on top of me, trying to kiss me. For one thing, I wasn't in the mood, and another thing, his breath was nasty and his hands smelled like crap because he doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. (shudders) He was holding on tight to my wrists and I was trying to get away, but what scared me was the look in his eyes. It scared me. My wrists still hurt. Yesterday I felt totally helpless and I hate that feeling. He's had this look in his eyes before when trying to have sex with me when I didn't want it, the last year. We've been married 10 years. Feels like he's a different 'personality'. What the heck is going on with him? Is it a control issue? He was never like this before.
2006-11-24 01:43:31 · 5 answers · asked by Jennifer L 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He hasn't had a job since March.
he games online all day long, too
2006-11-24 01:52:47 · update #1
Sounds scary, I can't imagine having to had to live through it. I would highly recommend that you get him to some kind of therapy or get him to sit down with you and have a heart to heart discussion on how you feel. At the very least, get some liquid disinfectant containers around the house for him to use before he touches you...damn, that's nasty!
2006-11-24 02:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe this is exciting for him but you guys will need to figure out a plan for when you are willing to do it this way. Maybe you could use a code word or something and then it won't take the excitement away from him and you can have your space respected. I have requested odd things like that before to try to spice things up but it can go in the wrong direction if everyone clearly doesn't understand the game. Good luck
2006-11-24 01:52:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I went through something similar to this. I will tell you what I did and hope this will help you. Find out if he's having problems with his job. Watch his behavior in what he does. Do you think it might be a mid-life problem he going through? Has he started drinking? (not to be rude) Drugs? Another woman? Think of those things and see what he does just before he gets that look in his eyes. If nothing like this helps, I would try talking to him or taking him to a psych. to see if there is a problem deeper than what you can help him with. It is scary, been there, I know. Just try to be patient and see if any of this helps. Good luck.
2006-11-24 01:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by redheadedmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may just be his idea of keeping the excitement in a 10 year relationship, which is difficult. Some people, both men and women, have a rape fantasy.
If you can talk to him about it, then you are doing fine in terms of the control issue. If you can't talk to him about it when you are not in the bedroom, then that is not ok. If he gets on top of you like that again, and you don't want it, try not to reject him, but say this: "Honey, I know this is exciting for you to be aggressive like this, but you are hurting me, so we have to talk about rough sex before you just start it, you dont' want to hurt me for reals, right?"
Then hand him a toothbrush and say brush your fat mouth.
2006-11-24 01:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you ever need my help...you know I'm nearby.
2006-11-24 04:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by DoubleD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋